Tailed Sage Naruto
by darknessbounty
Summary: After discovering an ancient tomb and getting to know Kurama, Naruto spends the final year of his training trip by himself. Just how powerful will he become and what effect will this have on the whole shinobi world? Eventual NaruHarem.
1. Chapter 1

So here we go. My first attempt at writing a Naruto fanfiction. I've been bouncing this idea around in my head for a while but it never really worked out. Where is this plot point going? How do I fit that plot point in? This character's OP. What am I doing with that character? I finally had an idea of what I was going to do. Then The Ugliness started. First the manga had what is without a doubt the worst ending I've ever seen. Then Kishimoto's handling of everything caused me to lose all respect for him. Then the Sakura bashers decided that NaruHina being canon somehow made them better than everyone else and gave them the right to talk down to everyone else. And since all their arguments are based around "NaruHina's canon so suck it!" they made all the actual NaruHina fans look like jackasses. Even though I know several NaruHina fans that hated the ending just as much as I did. But enough about me. Let's see how this goes.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. It is the property of Masashi Kishimoto. This fanfiction is a non-profit parody allowed by fair use. This disclaimer applies to any and all future chapters. If I did own Naruto I would have pulled that garbage anime off the air after 3 episodes.

=X=

The sun slowly set over Konohagakure no Sato, one of the five Great Shinobi Villages. While most businesses were locking their doors for the night, one person was not so lucky. In the tall tower near the center of the village the Fifth Hokage, Tsunade Senju sat behind her desk, a large pile of paperwork next to her. She sighed and ran a hand through her long blonde hair knowing she had brought this on herself. Despite what many people thought being Hokage didn't mean day after day of endless paperwork. Even with all the extra paperwork the Suna/Oto invasion had created, on top of the paperwork generated by the hospital, she still found time to train her new apprentice Sakura Haruno and still have an hour or two to herself every day. The endless paperwork was just an easy excuse for when she didn't want to have to deal with somebody. However over the last few days she had slacked off a bit, resulting in her current predicament. She sighed once again as she dated her signature

"Brat, you better hurry up and get back here." She muttered to herself. "I'm getting tired of waiting for you to take this job from me." The reason for her recent slacking was her preparing for the return of the number one hyperactive knucklehead ninja of Konoha. The one who had snapped her out of her decades long depression following the deaths of her brother and lover in the Second Shinobi World War. The jinchuriki of the nine tailed demon fox, the last known member of the Uzumaki clan, and self proclaimed Sixth Hokage, Naruto Uzumaki.

"You know, when you put it that way, you'll probably scare the brat away." A voice behind her said. Tsunade looked over her shoulder and saw someone she wasn't expecting for a few more days. It was her teammate, the legendary toad sage Jiraiya. Noticing the glare she was giving him, his dopey grin got bigger. "Come on Tsunade. I don't see you for three years and the first thing you do is glare at me?" Jiraiya pouted "I thought we had something special." Tsunade rolled her eyes but couldn't herself from smiling.

"Welcome back." She said before going back to filling out paperwork. "You should have let me know you were coming back early. Sakura will be disappointed she didn't get to meet Naruto as soon as he got back." Jiraiya moved to sit on the couch but before he could get comfortable, Tsunade asked the one question he had been hoping to put off. "Speaking off which, where is Naruto?" Trying to figure out how to word it so Tsunade wouldn't kill him, he decided to just rip the band-aid off. Putting on his best smile he happily declared,

"No idea! Honestly, I haven't seen him in over a year." Seeing Tsunade freeze up he realized that his efforts to sound optimistic made him sound a little too enthusiastic about not knowing Naruto's whereabouts. Before he could start explaining, Tsunade snapped the pen she was writing with and slowly stood up.

"Jiraiya," she said in the evilest tone he had ever heard. "You have exactly three seconds to start explaining why Naruto isn't with you, or I will unleash a hell that will make Orochimaru's experiments look merciful!" She began slowly cracking her knuckles while Jiraiya began panicking.

"Wait! Wait! Wait!" he begged. "The toads were watching over him the whole time! He was never in any danger! Look!" Jiraiya quickly flew through the hand seals for the summoning technique. In a puff of smoke a small toad, with large eyebrows wearing a dark cape appeared. Before he even realized where he was Jiraiya grabbed him and held him in front of Tsunade like a shield. "Go on Fukasaku! Tell Tsunade what Naruto's been up to. Tell her he's fine! Go on." Fukasaku quickly separated himself from Jiraiya and jumped onto Tsunade's shoulder.

"Please refrain from using me as a shield in the future." He said as he dusted himself off. "Especially since I told you it was a bad idea to wait this long to tell her." Fukasaku turned and hopped onto Tsunade's desk. "That aside," he said as he began clearing some space, "I have some papers that Naruto wanted me to pass on to you once he got back. I don't see any harm in giving them to you a few days early. And Naruto's fine." Satisfied that Tsunade's desk was cleared enough he turned back to his summoner and the enraged medic still glaring at him. "I shall return momentarily." He said with a bow before reverse summoning himself.

"See?" Jiraiya said nervously "Naruto's fine. You can stop trying to kill me with your eyes now. Right? Tsunade?" The furious Hokage continued glaring for a moment before she turn and walked back to her desk.

"Very well." She calmly started, "You've proven that Naruto isn't in any danger. So I can't be mad at you for that." She sat down and pulled a bottle of sake out of one of the drawers. "Now for my next question," Tsunade opened the bottle and swig, as Jiraiya nervously sat in the chair in front of her desk, knowing she probably didn't want him lounging on the couch right now. Tsunade took several deep breaths before looking at her teammate. "Jiraiya, why the hell did you let Naruto go running off in the first place?"

"Well, it was right after Naruto's fifteenth birthday," he began "Naruto had gone into the woods to train and didn't come back that night. It wouldn't have been the first time he spent all night training so I didn't think much off it. But the next mourning he was back at camp, just staring at the fire with this dead look in his eyes. I tried to get his attention but he just ignored me. Right as I was getting worried he suddenly got this really determined look in his eyes and asked if he could spend the last year of the trip training by himself. He said he would have the toads with him if things got too dangerous and he really needed to do this. After seeing that look in his eyes I agreed but told him that if he wasn't learning anything the toads would summon him back to me. I didn't hear anything from them so I assumed everything was going well." Before Tsunade could begin lecturing him on how irresponsible it was to just hope the toads could summon Naruto away from danger Fukasaku reappeared with a haphazard pile of scrolls and papers.

"Last time I get Gamakichi to keep track of paperwork." He muttered to himself. "Sorry about the disorganization, but I think I can find the important ones." He began looking through the papers while Jiraiya and Tsunade wondered what exactly Naruto did to generate this much paperwork. Fukasaku picked up a scroll and gave it to Tsunade. "This details the origins of chakra and the first chakra users." He said. Before Tsunade could ask any questions Fukasaku held up a small folder with stack of papers inside. "Here's a formal request from the leaders of Amegakure for a political alliance between the two villages." Both Jiraiya and Tsunade stared at Fukasaku with their jaws on the ground. Naruto had somehow convinced one of the most paranoid and isolated hidden villages to open up to outsiders? Sure, there were rumors that Hanzo had been overthrown but since the borders remained closed nobody had been able to verify them.

"Fukasaku," Tsunade began, "how exactly did Naruto come in contact with the leaders of Ame?" Walking into a hidden village was one thing. Meeting up with the top ninja was another. Fukasaku picked up a stack of papers stapled together and handed it to Tsunade.

"He heard a rumor that the leader of Akatsuki was in Ame and decided to investigate." Jiraiya and Tsunade's eyes popped out of their heads. "The leader's girlfriend, I'm assuming, approached him and they hit it off. One thing lead to another and him and those two are real good friends now. Speaking off which, Akatsuki has been disbanded and those are the profiles of all its former members." Jiraiya quickly grabbed the papers from Tsunade's hand while she was to stunned to stop him. While Jiraiya was comparing Naruto's notes with the information he had gathered over the last year Fukasaku grabbed a folder the looked similar to the first only bigger. "Here's a request by the Mizukage for an alliance between Konoha and Kiri." Once again Tsunade's jaw hit the floor.

"You're telling me the brat who refers to the Hokage as 'Granny' somehow managed to convince two of the most isolated hidden villages to open their borders to outsiders?" Tsunade asked. Fukasaku just smiled at her.

"You of all people should know of his ability to positively influence people." Tsunade blushed while Jiraiya, who had finished looking over the files of the ex-Akatsuki members, laughed. Before Tsunade could come up with a response Fukasaku handed her another paper. "Naruto has requested that you make the records of Itachi Uchiha's final mission public." Jiraiya was confused as to why Naruto would ask for that, before he noticed Tsunade seemed very nervous. Before he could ask Fukasaku handed him another stack of papers stapled together. "There's the information on almost all the jinchuriki. Who they are, where they are, their abilities. All that stuff."

Jiraiya began flipping through the files and saw that they were all rather thorough. "How exactly did he get this information?" He asked, "The jinchuriki are some of the most well guarded secrets in a hidden village. Also why is there no info on the Sanbi host?" Fukasaku looked up from flipping through papers.

"Well, for the most part, he just asked them. Most of the last year was spent meeting with all the other jinchuriki. Of course, some leaders weren't very happy when they learned a Konoha ninja was befriending their weapons. But for the most part they all like him." Once again Jiraiya's jaw hit the floor. "As for the Sanbi, the Fourth Mizukage was killed and Naruto wants to keep the new jinchuriki a secret for now." Fukasaku held up two more sheets of paper, once again cutting off the questions the two Sannin had. "These are the last two important things. They're a pair of techniques that Naruto created. Or rather he improved existing techniques in ways only he could." Tsunade and Jiraiya raised their eyebrows. "The first is a healing technique that uses large amounts on Yang chakra to generate organs from nothing. The other is a method of using Yang chakra to complete the Edo Tensei." Jiraiya and Tsunade stared blankly for a few seconds before they exploded into a series of questions. Unable to understand a thing they were saying Fukasaku took a deep breath. "SHUT UP!" The two ninja stopped, if only because they were shocked such a small toad could be so loud. "If you two have any questions you can just ask Naruto yourselves. He should be back tomorrow with his new teammates. Now if you'll excuse me, Shima will be rather upset with me if I miss dinner." With that Fukasaku reverse summoned himself back home. Jiraiya and Tsunade still had a million questions but as they looked at each other, they had the same thought.

"New teammates?"

=X=

Meanwhile in the forests outside Konoha a trio of teens sat around a small campfire. The first one was a blonde boy with three whisker marks on each cheek, wearing a black and orange shirt and pants with a large red jacket. He was sitting in a meditative stance, carefully taking in all everything in the environment around him. On his right was a very feminine black haired boy, wearing a bright pink sleeveless kimono. He was very carefully cleaning an absolutely massive sword, with a blade almost as long as he was tall. Next to them the only girl in their group tended to the fire while stealing glances at the black haired boy. She had lopsided red hair and deep red eyes behind her glasses. All three of them were looking forward to reaching Konoha tomorrow. Hopefully they would be able to enjoy the peace for just a little before the coming war finally erupted.

=X=

And there we go. Sorry if this chapter is a bit choppy. I was writing this really late at night, plus I needed to get through all the boring introductions before the interesting action starts. Hopefully future chapters will be a bit smoother. Not sure when the next chapter will be out, but I'll try and make it soon.


	2. Where it begins

And here we go with chapter 2. I wasn't expecting to get this out this fast but all the positive feedback really motivated me. Also if you're planning on leaving a review please sign in. I don't plan on responding to every single review but when I do I like knowing who I'm talking to. Speaking of which:

thor94: I agree that there aren't enough NaruHaku stories when Haku's a boy. And there's even less NaruBiharem stories. Sadly this story won't be making a dent in that. Naruto's harem is all women and Haku has a girlfriend.

thewolvesofwar: The rest of the story should be much smoother. By the time I finished the Jiraiya and Tsunade scene I was tired and looking up names and spellings on the Naruto wiki reminded me how much I've grown to hate canon. I put the extra info in there and posted it because honestly I don't think it'd ever get posted otherwise. But now I have readers motivating me.

KuroiSenkou: He still has a few tricks up his sleeves don't you worry.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. The disclaimer from chapter 1 applies here. If I did there'd be a lot more monster girls than just Tayuya, Kaguya, and the Edo Tensei zombie girls.

=X=

Jiraiya and Tsunade paced restlessly back and forth in front of the main gates of Konoha. Much like Fukasaku had said most of what was left of the pile had been random junk, mostly receipts that Tsunade really didn't hope he expected her to pay back. A training trip was not a mission. Besides that there were lots of pamphlets for random tourist destinations around the elemental nations, and what looked like lots of random journal entries, very few of which had anything interesting or important to say. It was slightly worrying that somebody who knew as much classified information as Naruto could still act so ditzy.

"Where the hell is he?" she yelled, startling the gate guards who had been nodding off. Wanting to get answers out of Naruto as soon as possible she had shown up to the gates at dawn. Several hours later and there was no sign of Naruto or his mysterious new team.

"Now Tsunade," Jiraiya said, ignoring her agitated glare "He said he'd be back today. He never gave a time. Just be patient and you'll get your answers." 'And hopefully I can get some answers of my own.' he thought. Last night when he asked Tsunade why Naruto was interested in Itachi's final mission she had become very evasive and refused to answer him. He was shocked when he pressed her for answers and she threatened to have him locked up if he didn't back off. Something big was going on and he was determined to find out what.

The sound of laughter pulled Jiraiya from his thoughts. Looking down the road he saw three people approaching. Jiraiya pulled out his spyglass and was pleased to see that Naruto was finally back home. Aside from growing a few inches and adding a long red jacket to his outfit he looked exactly the same as he did when they had parted ways a year ago. 'Now to get a look at these new teammates of his.' Looking to Naruto's right he saw the source of the laughter. It was a girl about Naruto's age with lopsided red hair and glasses. She was wearing a purple button up shirt that was barely buttoned, showing a bit of cleavage and her toned stomach. Her long legs were also on display thanks to the shorts she was wearing.

'Not bad kid.' Jiraiya thought with a perverted grin. 'Now let's see the other one.' Looking to Naruto's left he was very pleased to see another girl about Naruto's age, who seemed to be the butt of whatever the redhead was laughing at judging by the angry blush on her face. She had long black hair and was wearing a sleeveless pink kimono that showed off her strong arms, presumably gained from swinging the massive sword strapped to her back. All in all she was rather cute, in an oddly boyish sort of way.

"Hey! Pervy Sage! Granny Tsunade! I'm back!" The two sannin groaned at hearing their old nicknames again. The three teens stopped in front of the village leader and stood at attention. "Naruto Uzumaki reporting for duty. These are my friends, Haku," The brunette gave a polite wave, "and Karin." The redhead adjusted her glassed and nodded. "So did you get my letters?"

"Yes I did," Tsunade replied as she grabbed him by the jacket. "And there's the little matter of you running your mouth about classified missions that we need to talk about. My office, NOW!" Before Naruto could respond she dragged him down the street kicking and screaming.

"Well," Jiraiya said "I doubt that was the welcome he was expecting." He turned and looked at the two newcomers who were laughing at their friends unpleasant situation. "So….." The teens stopped laughing and looked at the sage. "Exactly how close are you ladies with Naruto?" He asked as he pulled out his notepad. Haku's blush returned as did Karin's laughter. Suddenly Karin pulled Haku into a tight hug.

"I hate to break it to you," She said "But the two of us are seeing each other exclusively." She punctuated he sentence by kissing Haku on the cheek. Jiraiya began giggling and writing before a depressing thought occurred to him.

"So you're telling me after all this time Naruto is still completely clueless when it comes to the ladies?" he asked with a sigh. Haku and Karin looked at each other before they exploded into laughter. Jiraiya raised an eyebrow. "What's so funny?"

"You'll have to ask Naruto since it's his story to tell, but let's just say you couldn't be more wrong." Haku said with a laugh. "Come on Karin. I'm sure Lady Tsunade will have some questions for us as well." With that the two teens walked after Naruto and Tsunade while Jiraiya began thinking up ideas for his next book, involving two wandering lesbians and the brave ninja warrior who captured both their hearts. "By the way Jiraiya," Jiraiya looked over his shoulder and saw Haku giving him a grin. It was a grin he had come to fear. I was the same grin Naruto always had right before a prank. "You should know that I'm a boy." The teens then left Jiraiya standing there confused. Finally his brain pieced together what it just learned and neatly summarized his thoughts.

"What the hell?"

=X=

"Start talking brat!" Tsunade said as she paced in her office. "How do you know about Itachi's last mission and why do you want to go announcing it to the whole world?" Despite giving Naruto her best glare she could tell he had grown as a ninja by the glare he was giving back.

"Maybe because he's a hero and right now the entire world is treating him like a monster for sacrificing everything in his life to keep his home safe even though there's absolutely nothing left to tie him to it. That sound like a good enough reason for you?" Naruto snapped, clearly not pleased with having to try to justify why a ninja shouldn't be punished for following orders. Tsunade sighed as she tried to think of a way to calm Naruto down. Sadly if there was anyone who could sympathize with Itachi it was Naruto.

"Look Naruto," she began softly "How do you think the other villages would react if they found out we were forced to wipe out one of our most powerful clans? Or should we have just let them invade us as we recovered from a civil war?" She hoped that Naruto could understand that leaders were sometimes forced to make unpleasant decisions. Naruto, however, seemed unimpressed with her answer.

"Please," He said sarcastically as he sat down "Kiri isn't as strong as us and they managed to survive a civil war caused by an Uchiha just fine." Tsunade sat there shocked as Naruto gained a thoughtful look on his face. "Then again they do have all that water keeping them safe." Tsunade's eye twitched in annoyance. "But there's a lot of land between Konoha and the borders. But those borders lead straight into enemy territory. Hmmm….. What do you think Granny?"

"Will you focus?" She snapped. Leave it to Naruto to lose focus thinking about borders while talking about a potential war. "Now what's this about an Uchiha starting the civil war in Kiri?" Naruto blinked a few times before he remembered what they were talking about.

"Oh yeah. So there was this guy, and everyone thought he died in the last war, but he didn't. But he did kind of turn into a complete and total ass." Naruto said with a frown. "He pulled Kurama out of mom, so he's pretty much responsible for ruining my life." Tsunade had no idea who Kurama was but hearing Naruto talk about his mother was raising more questions than it was answers. "Then he hypnotized the Fourth Mizukage and started the bloodline purges which lead to the civil war, so he's pretty much responsible for ruining Haku's life." This caught Tsunade's interest. She had no idea Naruto's new friend had a bloodline. Now that she thought about it she had just left two completely unknown ninja wandering around Konoha. She should probably do something about that. "Oh, and let's not forget he was the one who turned Akatsuki into a terrorist organization." Tsunade rubbed her temples. Naruto hadn't even been back 5 minutes and she had a headache.

"Naruto I'm going to ask some questions," She said as she reached for a bottle of sake. "And you are going to give me short and simple answers that aren't going to raise a million more questions. Got it?" Naruto nodded nervously. He could tell she was getting serious. "Now then, who is Kurama? Is this Uchiha still a threat? And what does this have to do with Itachi?" Naruto scratched his head.

"Well there's really no way to answer those simply. But in order, Kurama is the Kyubi, no he isn't and you don't screw with the guy leading a terrorist organization with having to screw with the second in command." Suddenly Naruto's eye widened in terror. "Oh crap! I forgot to tell the Pervy Sage that Konan and Nagato said 'Hello.'" Tsunade slammed her head into her desk. With a sigh she sat up and looked at Naruto.

"Alright fine." she groaned "We'll get back to all that later." Really at this point she was tempted to just kick him out of her office and trust that he knew what he was doing. "Just answer me this: What exactly made you want to leave in the first place?" Naruto's face hardened.

"Well that question's probably the easiest to answer, though it will probably take a while." Looking at the clock he saw that it was still only 8 in the morning. "Well it started about a year ago…"

=X=

Naruto wiped the sweat off his forehead. He had spent the last few hours sparring with his clones. Ever since that training session where he had blacked out Jiraiya hadn't been a strong as he had before. Sure he could still beat Naruto with no effort, but the beatings weren't nearly as bad as they used to be. Naruto sighed and looked down at his hand. Even though Jiraiya hadn't said anything Naruto was certain that he had lost control of the Kyubi. He wished he understood why Jiraiya was so determined to have him use the Kyubi's power. Was there something Jiraiya knew that he didn't?

With a sigh Naruto closed his eyes and began to focus. He didn't want to use the Kyubi's power but he also didn't want to accidentally kill someone close to him. Naruto felt the rush of power from the Kyubi slowly wash over him. He slowly began to increase the power, carefully maintaining focus on his emotions. The more he used the angrier he got. The angrier he got the harder it was to control. A vicious cycle if there ever was one. Naruto opened his eyes and froze with horror, or at least he would have if his body wasn't moving on its own.

'No, no, no, no, no!" he thought since he could scream it out. The veil of blood red chakra surrounded his body, pull him forward against his will. 'Why is this happening?" he thought. Last time he had lost control the last thing he heard was the Kyubi laughing and taunting him. Now there was nothing. It was almost like the chakra itself was moving him around. Naruto could only watch as his body crawled into a small cave that was covered up by the roots of an extremely ancient looking tree. "What is this place?" he thought as he crawled deeper and deeper with only the light of Kyubi's chakra letting him see.

Naruto was sure how long he crawled around in there. He body kept moving without rest, only stopping when it needed to dig where the cave was too narrow or blocked. Eventually he reached an open room. Struggling to see in the extremely dim light Naruto's blood ran cold when he realized that there was a mummified corpse sitting in the center of the room. To his horror his body moved forward, reaching out to touch the mummy's head. The mummy's three eyes lit up and Naruto blacked out.

=X=

"Ugh. Now where am I?" Naruto mumbled as he sat up. Looking around he saw he was in what looked like a weird mixture of a sewer and a boiler room. Behind him was a giant cage with a seal holding it closed. "How did I get inside my mind?" he asked as he stood up. Before he could investigate further a strange bubbling noise caught his attention. Looking down he saw the water was slowly draining away. A rattling drew his attention to the walls where several pipes began falling down.

"Well this is interesting." A deep voice rumbled behind Naruto. Naruto turned to see his prisoner, the nine tailed demon fox staring at him from behind the seal with a rather deranged grin its face. Before Naruto could tell the fox off like usual it leaned its head back and slammed them into the bars of its prison. To Naruto's horror the bars, much like the pipes on the walls fell uselessly to the ground. Naruto slowly backed away as the fox continued the stare at him the same way a predator stares at its prey. But before Naruto could be eaten alive another unfamiliar voice cut in.

"Well Kurama, you seem to have developed a rather cross personality over the ages." Naruto turned and was shocked to see that most of his mindscape had faded into an endless white void. Floating in the middle was a man, that Naruto quickly realized was the same mummy he had seen before he passed out. Though even alive he still looked incredibly old. And what was with that third eye in the middle of his forehead?

"That's impossible!" Naruto looked and saw the Kyubi slowly backing away from them, a look of confusion and fear on its face. "You're supposed to be dead!" Naruto looked back at the man with a look of wonder. Who was this guy and how strong was he if the Kyubi was scared of him?

"Ummm….. Excuse me." The old man looked down a Naruto, the same peaceful expression on his face. "So who exactly are you and what are we doing in my mind?" The Kyubi growled at Naruto's disrespect while the old man simply laughed.

"I suppose a proper introduction is in order." he said "I am Hagoromo Otsutsuki. But I believe you have most likely only heard of me by my my title The Sage of Six Paths." Naruto nodded several times before he smiled and politely asked

"Who?"

=X=

And there's chapter 2. Sorry it took so long. I wanted to have it out last weekend but I forgot that I had my cousin's wedding to go to so I lost 3 days of writing. Then the computer problems started. Technically this chapter isn't done but it's been 2 weeks and I figured I should hurry up and update while my computer's working. I need a new one. Next time, we hear the rest of Naruto's story, Naruto meets back up with some old friends, and hopefully we can get to the actual plot. This intro is taking longer than I thought it would. Well until next time. Later.


	3. Reunions

Hey everyone. It's chapter 3 time. And wow! When I posted this I had no idea this many people would be interested. That's awesome. But I know I can do better and your reviews help me. Speaking of which I misspoke last chapter. I said if you aren't signed in I can't respond to your review. What I meant was if you aren't signed in I won't respond to your review. Come on it takes 3 seconds to sign in. Anyway.

Acolyte of the Blood Moon: Good to hear. I was honestly really nervous about that.

MickDunD: Funny you say that. Literally the last thing I thought before I updated was "The story isn't going as fast as I'd like. I should probably make these chapters longer." Don't worry. I'm working on it.

whovian803: Not exactly. The scope on Naruto's power should become clear in the next few chapters.

Azyer - The True Legendary: Ummm….. Who won't what? And what exactly does Kishimoto lover mean? I get the feeling you're trolling me but I can't be sure. Given that I'd love to punch him in the face I guess by his definition I do. But I don't think that's what you meant. Then again I have no idea what you meant.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. The disclaimer from chapter 1 applies here. If I did at this point I'd never be seen in public again because I'd need to hide my face from the shame of having such a dumb fan base; no offense to the people reading.

=X=

"You idiot!" Naruto froze, remembering that the giant fox monster that had almost destroyed his home was currently sitting behind him with nothing separating them. "The only reason you can even call yourself a ninja is because of the desecration of the ideals of the man before you. So show some respect!" Naruto stared up at the fox. While there were some big words he didn't quite understand from what he got this guy was the very first ninja. And he must have been powerful considering the respect in the Kyubi's voice. The few times he had heard the Kyubi talk before it had always just smugly taunted him before trying to take control of his body. A laugh brought his attention back to the man in front of him.

"While Kurama is being overly zealous in coming to my defense he is correct." He said with a smile. "I am Hagoromo Otsutsuki. I was the one who spread the ideals of ninshu, which formed the base of ninjutsu, across the word, It was through my knowledge that humanity learned to access the chakra that lay dormant within everyone." By now Naruto had little stars in his eyes. Who knew what kind of awesome ninja moves he could learn from this guy.

"Wow! That's amazing!" he yelled, much to Kurama's annoyance. "So you're the guy who discovered chakra? How'd you do that? Can you teach me to be an awesome ninja like you?" Naruto then noticed that Hagoromo's smile seemed to fall a bit at his questions.

"Perhaps Kurama's paranoia was not as unfounded as I originally believed." Before Naruto could question what he meant the sage continued, "And no. I am neither the discoverer of chakra nor was I the first human to make extensive use of it. Chakra had long been known of by humanity, though few were able to make use of it. The first human to wield chakra as we do was my mother." Naruto clearly had not be expecting that answer.

"So your mother was the first ninja?" Naruto asked, not noticing Hagoromo's face becoming sadder with each word. "She must have been amazing. What was she like? How did she become a ninja?" Naruto imagined himself as an awesome sage with his mother as a kickass ninja cheering him on and supporting him. Before he could continue his fantasy a sad sigh pulled him from his thoughts.

"My mother was named Kaguya Otsutsuki." Hagoromo said "She was the princess of a great and powerful kingdom. Within that kingdom was a tree known as the Shinju, which bore a fruit overflowing with chakra. According to legend eating the fruit would gift a person with a godly level of power. The people of the kingdom never ate the fruit out of fear of the potential power they may unleash, Outsiders frequently attempted to invade the kingdom in order to steal the tree's power for themselves. Eventually my mother grew weary of seeing her home repeatedly be brought to the brink of destruction. She ate the fruit herself, and became so powerful that not only was she able to stop the invasions but she brought and end to all wars everywhere." Naruto's jaw was on the floor with amazement. If they taught stuff like this in history class maybe he'd pay attention. Then again maybe they did and he slept through it.

"But, eating the fruit changed something within her. Those who knew my mother before stated that she was kind hearted and loving. But my entire life I knew her to be nothing but cold and distant even at the best of times. Myself and my brother were both born with incredible power, though nowhere near her level. We began teaching others to use their chakra in order to improve their lives. For some reason this enraged her and she demanded that we cease spreading the secrets of chakra. When we refused several disciples of ours disappeared. We eventually discovered that they had been murdered." Naruto gulped in fear. "We were greatly concerned for her rapidly failing mental health. But before we could intervene, tragedy struck. One day, she observed a young man use chakra to climb a wall to deliver a letter to the woman he was smitten with. Seeing what she felt to be her godly power used for such a mundane task caused something within her to break. She hypnotized the entire kingdom and fed them to the Shinju, turning them into abominations neither man nor plant. When we confronted her she merged herself with the Shinju, turning into a ten tailed monstrosity that began ravaging the land, draining the latent chakra of every living thing she came across." By now Hagoromo was struggling to hold back his tears.

"How did you stop her?" Hagoromo looked up at Naruto and saw that Naruto was clearly uncomfortable asking but was still curious. Hagoromo laughed sadly. He supposed if anyone other than him were telling the story it would sound like a fanciful tale.

"I sealed her chakra within myself while her body was locked within a colossal stone prison in the sky. As I neared the end of my life I felt extra precautions were necessary. So I split her chakra into nine fragments and gave each of them a life of its own." In amazement Naruto turned and looked at the giant fox behind him. "I see you understand. The biju are the result of my mother's lust for power. Their continued existence is what keeps the world safe from her wrath." Finally Naruto asked the question that had been bothering him the entire time he was here.

"As interesting as this is, what does all this have to do with me?" Hagoromo smiled and explained that his chakra had brought him here as a result of being his second son's incarnation well as having Kurama's chakra. He then warned Naruto about Zetsu, a veil creature that Kaguya had created with the last of her power and taught Naruto of a fuinjutsu that could stop Kaguya should Zetsu's plans come to fruition. During this time he got to know Kurama, who was still a jerk, though the threats of murder and possession stopped. Eventually Hagoromo bid Naruto farewell, but not before letting Naruto know that he believed if anyone could bring peace to the world it was him. As the sage faded away and his mindscape rebuilt itself Naruto heard someone calling his name. Looking up he saw Jiraiya standing over him. When had he gotten back to camp? How long had he been sitting there? Remembering what Hagoromo had told him he looked up at his teacher. "Jiraiya, I think I need to spend the next year training myself."

=X=

"And then I spent the next year wandering around training." Tsunade nodded. Hearing that the Sage of Six Paths was real and not just a fairytale had been very interesting. Tsunade finished her sake before looking at Naruto.

"Very well." she began "We'll need a full up to date showing of your skills. Be at training ground 7 at 3. We'll test you to see just how good you really are." Naruto looked at the clock and smiled. He still had several hours before he'd even need to start getting ready. "Any questions before you leave?" Naruto nervously scratched his head.

"Do you think maybe you could drop your henge for me?" he asked. The glare Tsunade sent him told him everything. "Please? I just want to try something. I promise nothing bad will happen." Tsunade gave a groan of irritation and reluctantly dropped her transformation. Naruto did his best not to cringe. She may have been in her early fifties, but without the henge so looked like she was in her seventies.

"So what is it you're trying to do?" she asked, her tone of voice telling Naruto he was dead if this was some kind of joke. Naruto smiled and held up his hands, which were now covered in a bizarre golden flame. With a flick of his wrists the flames extended and swallowed Tsunade up. Before she could protest Naruto started talking.

"I'm sure you read all about my Yang healing technique, right?" Tsunade nodded. "Well I'm still working on the control part. I can't really do fine healing. I can replace an arm if you lost one. But if you broke your arm I can't make a small amount of bone to mend it. I could give you a new arm bone. But having one and two halves of a bone really isn't that good for you." Tsunade managed to avoid rolling her eyes at the statement. She was too busy feeling better than she'd felt in years. "So when I first found I could do this I read some books on biology. I thought maybe I could revitalize old cells and reverse aging. But nobody I tried it on got younger. They just had some extra chakra that made them all twitchy for a few hours."

"So what makes you think it will be any different for me?" Tsunade asked. Of course she wasn't complaining. She felt amazing. If this how twitchy people felt she needed to switch to coffee.

"Well your Creation Rebirth technique heals you by speeding up cell division. I know it's a long shot but I'm hoping my technique will see the artificial aging as unnatural damage to fix it. Like the difference between a boulder slowly eroding over time and someone with a hammer smashing it to pieces." Naruto lowered his hands and the light around Tsunade began to fade. "Now let's see how WHOA THAT WORKED A LITTLE TOO WELL!" Tsunade's eyes widened it terror as she spun to look at her reflection in the window. If that brat turned her into a kid she was going to beat him so badly even she wouldn't be able to fix him.

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU…" Tsunade's complaint died in her throat. She looked more or less the same as her henge normally did. At worst she looked a few years older. "What do you mean too well? I look amazing."

"Well I figured if it worked you'd look your actual age, not twenty years younger." Seeing the look of joy on her face he decided not to question it. "So training ground 7 at 3 right?" Tsunade nodded while continuing to check herself out. "Alright see you then." Naruto opened the door to Tsunade's office and saw Haku and Karin waiting outside.

"So…" Karin asked awkwardly. "Do we need to officially be allowed in? Is there something we need to sign? Can we stay here?" Naruto smiled and gave her a thumbs up.

"Of course you can stay here." he said happily. "And we can take care of the paperwork later. For now let Tsunade enjoy her new look." Ignoring the confused looks on their faces he grabbed their arms and dragged them away. "Come on. I can't wait to introduce you to my friends."

=X=

Sakura Haruno gave a bored sigh as she browsed the various shop windows. Last night an ANBU had shown up at her house with a message saying the training was cancelled today. She supposed she could meet with Ino, but until she was done with team training she had nothing to do. She wished Naruto would hurry up and get back. The past three years had been rather boring without him around.

"Hey Sakura!" The kunoichi's eyes widened as the blond she had just been thinking about ran towards her with two others in tow.

"Naruto?" she asked happily "When did you get back? And who are those two?" She was slightly annoyed that Tsunade hadn't informed her that Naruto was coming back early. Naruto stopped in front of her and looked her over.

"Well I'm glad to see you look just as beautiful as you did the day I left." Sakura blushed at this. "And these were my teammates while I was gone. You met Haku on our mission to the Land of Waves." The girly boy gave a nervous laugh.

"I don't believe we were properly introduced back then, given that I was both your enemy and slightly dead." A look of realization crossed Naruto's face. "And this is my girlfriend Karin." The redhead next to him waved before holding her hand out to Haku.

"And I believe I won the bet." She said. Haku sighed and began digging through his pockets. Seeing Sakura's confused look Karin smiled. "With how much Naruto talked about you as we traveled we both knew he would compliment you as soon as he saw you. Haku thought he would say something stupid and make you mad." Naruto shot Haku a look as he handed some money to Karin.

"You do tend to make poor word choices." He said. "I was expecting you to say something like 'You haven't changed a single bit.' but you managed to surprise me."

"Ha ha ha." Naruto said sarcastically. "I know how to talk to girls. You should know that." Haku and Karin shared a look and a snicker. "So Sakura what was it like having the Hokage as a teacher?" Sakura smiled. He may be more mature but he was still Naruto.

"Well it was really hard. But it was also a lot of fun. To start with…" Sakura started telling Naruto about the training she had done for the past three years. But as they talked they didn't notice the pair of pure white eyes narrowing into a hate filled glare.

"That's so cool!" Naruto exclaimed. "Do you think maybe you could teach us some of that cool medical stuff?" he asked. Sakura noticed that all three of them were giving her a hopeful look. This surprised her. Naruto wanting to be a medic? She would have laughed and played it off as a joke if the look he gave her wasn't completely serious.

"Seriously?" she asked "All three of you want to be medics?" Naruto and Karin shared a look before looking at Haku, then back at Sakura.

"Well I think Haku's the only one interested in specializing in it." he responded "And he already knows a lot about the basics. He's really good with herbs and don't forget he's the one who put Zabuza in a near death state and helped him recover from it." Sakura nodded with excitement. The thirteen year old Sakura with no medical training couldn't appreciate just how difficult it was to put someone into a near death state. And Haku had done it in the middle of a battle. Naruto had just brought Konoha a potential goldmine of a medic.

"What about you and Karin?" she asked. The Naruto she knew was more a beat the crap out of the bad guys before they hurt someone, rather than a healer. Karin looked smart enough to be a healer, but looks didn't count for much in the ninja world. Look underneath the underneath.

"We both have chakra with healing properties. Even if we aren't medics it'd probably still be good to know." Naruto said with a smile while Karin was looking at Haku while pouting and mumbling something about 'Only he can use my chakra.' Sakura smiled. Naruto's new friends seemed a little weird, but they also seemed nice.

"Come on Naruto." she said as she grabbed his hand. "I can't wait to tell everyone you're back." She began to pull Naruto along. "And you'll have to tell me all about what happened while you we gone." Naruto sighed happily. It was nice being back in Konoha. He even got to hold Sakura's hand. Sadly before he could enjoy it the familiar sensation of death bearing down on him caught his attention. He quickly grabbed Sakura in his arms and jumped backwards, ignoring her startled screams. "Naruto what the hell do you think you're doing?" she screeched.

"Looks like she tried to kill you again." Haku said blankly. Sakura was about to ask what he meant when she saw the road in front of them. It was covered in what looked to be dozens of wires sticking out of the ground like giant darts.

"What are those?" she asked as Naruto put her down. "Where did they come from?" She reached out to touch one when Karin grabbed her hand.

"Don't touch those!" she warned "They will drain your chakra, potentially fatally. As for where they came from you can thank the rabbit bitch."

"Karin what did I tell you about being nice?" Naruto asked as he walked past Sakura wearing gloves covered with seals.

"Fuck nice!" she snapped back. "With how many times she's tried to kill us I'll call her whatever the fuck I want." Naruto began plucking the wires causing them to go limp and revealing them to be strands of hair.

"Well technically she was only trying to kill me." he said "You and Haku just happened to be in the way." Karin growled, apparently unsatisfied with the answer, while Sakura was more confused than ever.

"Who are you talking about? What's going on?" The three ninja pointed to the roof of a nearby building. Sakura followed their fingers and gasped at what she saw. Sitting on the roof was one of the most beautiful women she'd ever seen. She was wearing a kimono similar to the ones she'd seen in paintings of ancient nobility. She had long flowing white hair, that apparently served as a weapon. Oddly, besides having pure white eyes, she had what looked like horns plus a large red eye in the middle of her forehead. Sakura could see several seals on her neck and wrists. But what really caught her attention was that her beautiful face was twisted into the foulest scowl she had ever seen. "Who is that?" Naruto finished collecting the hairs and waved to the woman.

"Better luck next time Kaguya!" he yelled. If possible her scowl got even fouler as the space behind he warped into a portal that swallowed her up. Sakura's head was starting to hurt.

"Naruto who was that?" she asked as Naruto finished picking up Kaguya's hair and started pulling his gloves off.

"That was Kaguya Otsutsuki." he said "She was the very first ninja. Unfortunately all that power drove her insane so I'm going to fix her." Haku and Karin groaned. Apparently they didn't feel the same way.

"Naruto she couldn't possibly be the first ninja." Sakura said "That would make her at least a thousand years old." Naruto laughed and gave her a thumbs up.

"Yeah. I hope I look that good when I'm a thousand." he said completely seriously. Sakura looked to Haku and Karin for support but apparently they believed Naruto's story. "Now come on! I remember you saying something about catching up with everyone." Naruto began to walk away, followed by Haku and Karin, with Sakura bringing up the rear.

"Will someone please explain what's going on?"

=X=

Ino Yamanaka gave an annoyed sigh. She loved her team, she really did. But some days they could be so frustrating. Today all they had done was some warm-ups followed by Taijutsu spars. After that they had practiced several Ino-Shika-Cho formations followed by a cool down. Now they were getting lunch at the barbecue place, which was Asuma's sign that they were done for the day. Sure Shikamaru had some meeting with Temari later, but there was no reason Asuma couldn't keep training he and Choji. She swore that if not for her constant complaining they would never get anything done. Her attention was drawn to the entrance as her best friend Sakura walked in with two people she didn't recognize and a blond she was very surprised to see.

"Naruto?" she asked "Is that you?" Choji and Shikamaru were drawn out of their conversation by her question. "When did you get back?" Naruto smiled and waved at them.

"Hey guys! What's up?" he walked over followed by Sakura and the two mystery people. "So like I was saying." he said to Sakura. "With all the seals on her she's about as strong as all five kage put together." Sakura paled in fear while Team Asuma looked confused. Was he talking about one of the girls with him? They didn't seem that strong.

"Troublesome." Shikamaru groaned "So Naruto, what happened on your trip and who are the girls?" Naruto and the redhead laughed while the brunette got an annoyed smile.

"The redhead is Karin," she waved while looking at the menu the waiter had brought over. "And the guy with the sword is her boyfriend Haku." Everyone stared at Naruto before looking at Haku. He waved at them.

"Yes I'm aware I look like a girl." Naruto and Karin snickered. "And I believe these two have a bet over how many people will make that mistake. I believe we're up to five."

"So you want to hear about my trip?" Naruto said "Well let's see. I think a lot of it needs to be cleared by Tsunade before I talk about it. Hmmm….. Oh I know I can tell you about my trip to the Land of Water." His classmates listened with interest while Asuma wondered why Naruto would be in the Land of Water since last he had heard it was in the middle of a civil war. "So it all started when I met this guy named Utakata. He's a pretty cool guy, I think you guys would like him. So anyways I'm walking on the beach when I see this guy blowing bubbles. He seems interesting so I stop to talk to him. Well one thing led to another….." Naruto spent the next few hours telling them all about his trip to the Land of Water from his first meeting with Utakata to meeting and training with the rebels.

"They thought they could hide in the mist but they didn't realize the mist was filled with steam. So when they hid to long their armor started melting. They tried to run but we caught them and to everything that wasn't starting to melt." Everyone was listening, amazed to hear that the class idiot had already fought in a war. "So with all the extra weapons we had with went…"

"Sakura Haruno." everyone turned to see an ANBU standing behind them. "The Hokage has ordered you to report to training ground 7 in an hour." Naruto looked at the clock and saw it was now 2.

"Sorry guys." he said as he stood up and paid for his lunch. "My evaluation's in an hour. I'll talk to you later." Team Asuma all sadly groaned.

"Come on. You can't leave us hanging like that." Ino whined. "What happened next?" Choji and Shikamaru nodded in agreement. Naruto smiled and pointed at the clock.

"What happens next is Shikamaru gets in trouble for not meeting Temari on time." Naruto walked away laughing while Shikamaru stared off into space before he bolted out of the restaurant.

"Troublesome."

=X=

"Did we really have to leave early?" Sakura asked. Her and Naruto were walking alone since Haku and Karin had gotten directions to Naruto's house and taken off, though Naruto had invited them to watch his evaluation.

"No, but that seemed like a good place to stop." he replied. "Otherwise I'd still be in the middle of the story when I had to leave." Sakura was curious what happened if that didn't qualify as the middle. Before she could continue that train of thought her and Naruto saw two more of their classmates walking towards them. "Hey Kiba! Uhh… uhh…" Crap what was Kiba's teammate's name? Naruto racked his brain of answers before finally remembering. "Shino! What's up Shino?" Kiba waved while Shino calmly walked behind him.

"Yo Naruto! When did you get back?" Kiba asked while the giant dog next to him barked happily. Naruto started petting the dog.

"I just got back today. I'm getting ready for my evaluation." he said. "And I'm guessing this little guy is Akamaru?" he asked as he scratched him behind the ears. "Yes he is. Yes he is." Kiba laughed at Akamaru, knowing he hated people baby talking to him.

"Hello Naruto." Shino said "I am surprised you remember me. Why? Because the two of us have rarely interacted before this." Naruto scratched the back of his head, not wanting Shino to know how right he was.

"Come on Shino." he said nervously "Who could forget about you?" Naruto couldn't tell what Shino was thinking due to his glasses, but he had the feeling Shino didn't believe him.

"Man it sucks you got back today." Kiba said "We were just about to leave for a mission. You need to tell us all about your trip man. So, you have any luck with the ladies?" Sakura was about to tell Kiba to shut up and stop being a pervert while Naruto had a rather pervy grin. Before either could voice their thoughts everyone was forced to jump away from a giant tiger made of ink.

"I've only been home one day and I've already been attacked twice. Seriously universe. What the hell?" Naruto angrily muttered as he threw a kunai straight into the tiger's head. "Where'd it come from?"

"Up there!" Sakura said point at a roof down the street. Naruto looked and saw a very pasty kid with short black hair and a bizarre revealing outfit. He opened a scroll and grabbed a brush before drawing faster than anyone could follow. His drawings turned into a pack of tigers and attacked the group of friends. Naruto quickly summoned several clones to deal with them. Soon the street was filled with ink splotches and smoke. The creepy kid looked around, unable to see Naruto anywhere.

"You know it's rude to attack people you haven't even met yet." The creepy kid spun around and saw Naruto sitting right behind him. "You know I have this interesting ability to sense emotions. Negative emotions are easier, but I can still feel the positive ones." He stood up and slowly approached the creepy kid. "Usually when someone's trying to kill me like that they have a lot of negative emotions. But you? You don't really have any emotions at all. You wouldn't happen to be one of those ROOT creeps I was warned about would you?" The creepy kid's eyes shot open before he quickly schooled his features. "Do me a favor." he said as he leaned close. "Tell Danzo his past is about to catch up to him." The creepy kid stared for a few seconds before he burst into ink. Naruto jumped down and rejoined the others.

"What the hell was up with that guy?" Kiba asked. Naruto looked at the ink splattered everywhere and decided he better leave before someone made him clean it up.

"Just some overly enthusiastic guy who couldn't wait to test me. Speaking of testing me and Sakura need to get to training ground 7. Go luck on your mission guys. Later Hinata." a loud squeak got Kiba and Shino's attention. Hinata poked her head out from behind the tree she was hiding behind. As she watched Naruto and Sakura walk away all she could think was 'Why didn't he want to talk to me?'

=X=

Naruto and Sakura entered training ground 7. Remembering when they first became ninja they weren't surprised to see Kakashi sitting on the training logs. Kakashi gave them his usual eye smile and closed the book he was reading.

"Hello Naruto, Sakura. It's been a while hasn't it? You both look like you've done a lot of growing in the past three years."

"Hey sensei." Naruto said. "Still reading those trashy romance novels?" Kakashi's eye twitched. Trashy romance novel was a step up from porn, but that was still his favorite book being insulted.

"Glad to see you're just as loud mouthed as you've always been." Now it was Naruto's turn to eye twitch. Kakashi held up a pair of bells. "I don't think I need to remind you how this test works. Come at me with the intent to kill or you'll never win." He attached the bells to his belt. "And go." With that he vanished. Naruto and Sakura slipped into fighting stances.

"Any idea where his is?" Naruto asked. They looked around but saw no sign of their teacher. Sakura thought for a moment before pulling a pair of gloves out of her pocket.

"Well last time he hid underground." she said as she pulled them on. "Let's see if he thinks we forgot about that." Sakura pulled her fist back a smashed the entire training ground to bits. Naruto and the newly uncovered Kakashi both stared in horror. 'Note to self' they both thought 'Never get hit by her.'

"I see she picked up your strength." Jiraiya said as he and Tsunade watch from a nearby tree. "Bleach her blond and she'd be a miniature you."

"Indeed she's rather impressive." Karin said as she and Haku jumped onto the branch next to them. "I see why Naruto wouldn't shut up about her."

"Well actually she couldn't do that when he left." Tsunade said. Noticing the Haku had changed into a more combat appropriate outfit she asked. "What's with the costume change?"

"I would assume if Karin and I are going to join Konoha you'd need to evaluate us to assess our rank. We figured this would be a good time to do so."

"Not if they take too long getting the bells." Jiraiya said "Knowing Kakashi they could be out here all night." Haku and Karin laughed.

"You seriously have no idea just how powerful Naruto is." Karin replied. "Though I'd be amazed if he was forced to reveal his full strength here. Something bad would have to happen to push him that far."

=X=

Hundreds of miles away outside of Sunagakura, four figures stood covered with black cloaks with purple music notes on them with a pinwheel eye in the center of them. Several jonin in Suna uniforms stood behind them.

"We got all your spies out" the blond one said to the hunchback. "Can I PLEASE start blowing stuff up?" The hunchback growled in annoyance.

"Yes Deidara." he rasped in an extremely gravely voice. "Just make sure you remember to use the special explosives you were given." Deidara laughed and summoned a giant unnaturally white bird.

"You got it Sasori my man!." he said as he flew off. The hunchback turned to look at the jonin behind him.

"Head to Otogakure." he said. "We'll plan our next move once I get back." The ex-Suna non bowed and ran off. "Let's go." Sasori said as the other two cloaked ninja followed him and the first explosions went off over Suna.

=X=

"Get ready Kakashi!" Naruto said as he charged up a rasengan. "Because I'm going to AAAHHH!" He dropped to he knees and grabbed his head. With a flash of pain he found himself sitting in an endless white void. Kurama was sitting behind him while eight glowing fireballs sat in a circle around him. One had grown a large tanuki face.

"NARUTO!" it screamed "It's just like Kokuo and Chomei warned! Suna's under attack! There's at least four! I'm pretty sure all of them are ex-Akatsuki! Help!" Naruto removed his hands from his ears.

"Don't worry Shukaku. I'll be there as soon as possible. Just hold them off for as long as you can." The tanuki nodded and faded away. "Let's do this Kurama." he said as the fox behind him got an insane grin.

"Naruto!" Sakura yelled as tried to get his attention. "Are you ok? Naruto!" Kakashi stood off to the side. He was worried about Naruto but he wasn't dumb enough to just walk up to him in the middle of a test. Suddenly Naruto jumped up.

"Sorry Kakashi but I need to end this right now." Kakashi braced for an attack as Naruto held up his hand. Dark rings appeared around Naruto's eyes as he channeled chakra through his hand. Suddenly the bells flew from his belt and into Naruto's hand. Naruto tossed one to Sakura. "We win! Got to go! Haku! Karin! Let's go!" Haku and Karin jumped from the tree along with Jiraiya and Tsunade.

"Naruto what's going on?" Tsunade asked. Naruto began channeling the same golden chakra he and healed her with only this time it spread over his entire body.

"Suna's under attack." he said "The three of us will go on ahead. You send backup." Before Sakura or Tsunade could protest Naruto's chakra exploded. Where a teenage human once stood was now a giant golden nine tailed fox. A glowing chain shot out of Karin's wrist and wrapped around his neck. She grabbed Haku and pulled them onto Naruto's back. The fox turned and jumped away. Tsunade stared in shock before turning to the masked jonin.

"Kakashi get ready! Team Kakashi and Team Asuma are providing backup to Suna! NOW!"

=X=

Sorry this took so long. I wanted tho out on Friday but I also wanted the chapters to be longer. Once I got going I wasn't really sure where a good point to stop would be. Sorry that I skimmed over the fights. I've never written a fight before, I don't really like fights, and the next chapter is going to be more or less nothing but fights. So fingers crossed the next chapter is good. Later!


	4. The Battle of Suna

Chapter 4 alright! Still amazed at how popular this story is getting. I getting a little less than 100 favs and a little more than 100 follows per chapter. I do my best to keep it up and not disappoint you. That being said this chapter is mostly fight scenes, something I've never written before. So I hope it goes well.

Lu Bane Na: Technically Kaguya was out of the moon for most of the series. She was just a rotting monster corpse instead of a sexy goddess. And I can make it one since everyone seemed to like it.

Sith Raven's Shadow: Umm… Quack? Sorry I'm really not sure what to say.

thor94: That should be explained by the end of this chapter.

Tokikohime: Everyone has Darkness right? Yeah. I really like that story but this one is going to be WAY different.

Dark Inari Of The Fist: Now I know you're trolling me. Well, if you ever think of something intelligent to say you can say it. Until then I'll keep laughing at your "reviews." Also constantly changing your username does nothing to hide your identity.

sagar hussain: I try to include jokes and keep things funny but I wouldn't say it'll be a humor fic because that implies the comedy is the focus, and here it isn't. And don't worry. I will never ever EVER bash. I might give someone crap for doing something stupid but I'm not going to drag it out. I hate bashing. It's a way for lazy writers to get lots of positive feedback from idiots without a lot of effort. Normally I'd say 'no offense' to my readers, but no. Offense totally intended. If I lose favs or follows too bad. I don't need to sell out like Kishimoto.

Enigma infinite: Thank you. But could you be more specific about what I need to fix?

ncpfan: That should be explained in the next few chapters, but the end of this chapter should give you some idea of what happened.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. The disclaimer from chapter 1 applies here. If I did I wouldn't let other people make major decisions for me.

=X=

"Alright listen up." Tsunade said as she looked at the ninja assembled before her. "Approximately 15 minutes ago Naruto Uzumaki, along with his two new self proclaimed teammates took off for Suna. They claim that Suna is under attack but failed to provide any details. You are to follow after them, provide assistance in the event they were right, and drag them back here so I can remind them that they can't just go running off whenever they want! Any questions?" Sakura stepped forward.

"Lady Tsunade," she began "I believe I saw that creepy Kaguya woman chasing after him. Do you want us to do something about her to?" Tsunade thought back and recalled seeing someone in white chasing after them.

"Wait, Kaguya?" Tsunade said nervously. "As in Kaguya Otsutsuki?" Sakura nodded, not enjoying the look of fear crossing Tsunade's face. "Is that idiot trying to get us all killed? What the hell is he thinking just letting her wander around?"

"Naruto claims that she has several seals on he body that allows him to somewhat control her." Sakura said. "But even still he claims she could fight all five kage and win." Tsunade groaned. She was really starting to regret just letting Naruto skim over the details of his trip.

"You are to stay as far away from her as possible. Once Naruto gets back I'll have him fill me in. Any more questions?" Nobody spoke up. "Then move out!" Team Kakashi and Team Asuma turned to chase after their favorite blonde idiot.

=X=

The desert sun was beating down as Naruto, still a giant golden fox, ran as fast as he could across the dunes. Riding on his back were his teammates, Haku and Karin, and their new passenger Temari. They had spotted her right at the edge of the Land of Fire and picked her up after quickly explaining what was happening.

"So do we have any idea who's attacking Suna?" Karin asked Naruto. Luckily when Naruto went full tailed beast mode he still appeared on top of Kurama's head so they could still talk to him.

"Well, I can't talk to Shukaku when my system is flooded with Kurama's chakra like this," he said "But from the way he was describing everything blowing up I'm guessing that Dei-something guy is there."

"I believe the name you're looking for is Deidara." Haku said. "And if the ex-Akatsuki's structure hasn't been changed too much, Sasori of the Red Sand is most likely with him." Temari paled at that. Having a brother who was interested puppets meant she had heard all the horror stories of what Sasori had done.

"Right, those two." Naruto said. "But he didn't say anything about the other two. He said it seemed like they were just keeping the other Suna ninja from interfering." None of the ninja liked the sound of that.

"Naruto do you think this could be a trap?" Temari asked. With 4 S-class missing nin attacking and only one actually doing any damage and the other three stalling for time it looked like a trap.

"Most likely." Naruto said. "But Suna's under attack. I'm not about to just let my friends be killed because it's safer for me to run away. I'd be a pretty crappy Hokage if I did stuff like that." Everyone smiled at that. Naruto wasn't letting all his newfound power go to his head.

=X=

Gaara raised another wall of sand in front of him to shield himself from the latest explosion to be launched at him. So far outside of destroying several buildings surrounding the Kazekage tower and verbally taunting him, the attacker hadn't made any direct moves at him. So what were they waiting for?

"Gaara!" The Kazekage looked up and saw a giant golden fox falling towards him. In a flash of light it vanished, leaving behind four teens. "Don't worry. Team Naruto is here to save the day." Before anyone could point out how dumb his intro was a manic laughter got their attention.

"Well, what do you know?" Deidara said with an insane grin. "Just liked we planned. Attack the raccoon and the fox will come running. I didn't think it'd work but here we are."

"Deidara" The blond looked over his shoulder to see his partner approaching. "A raccoon and a tanuki are two separate creatures. Use your brain before you accidentally blow yourself up." Deidara growled and was about to retort when another voice cut in.

"Raccoon? Tanuki? Who gives a flying fuck? Let's just kill the fucking dipshits already." Naruto tensed at the approaching pair. One was tall and thin with swept back silver hair, carrying a three bladed scythe. The other was equally tall wearing a black mask over his head with creepy red and green eyes. It was Hidan of Yugakure and Kakuzu of Takigakure, the infamous zombie brothers.

"Well, isn't this a nice little reunion." Naruto said sarcastically. "Where's the two-faced plant creep? He too scared to show up?" Really he was nervous. Haku and Karin had gotten stronger since they started training together but they weren't S-rank. Even with the ninja of Suna backing them up he wasn't sure if they could take them all. Deidara's laughter got his attention.

"Funny you should say that." He said as he went through several hand seals. "I was given a special explosive just for this mission." When he finished the last seal the residue that coated the area began to glow. Several large blobs clustered together and began to take a familiar shape. Before anyone could react they were surrounded by an army of Zetsu.

"Well, shit." Karin said as everyone took a fighting stance. "Any ideas Naruto?" Naruto looked at the army surrounding them before giving a sigh of defeat. He really didn't want to do this but he had no choice. He made a seal and spiked his chakra. Sensing an attack one of the Zetsu charged him, only to stop inches from him as something grabbed the back of its head. Everyone slowly backed away. Standing in front of Naruto was Kaguya, a look of curiosity on her face.

"Kaguya," Naruto said slowly. "If you promise to be good and not kill any of out allies, I'll let you keep the seal that blocks your ability to drain chakra off." He sighed again. "Permanently. Do we have a deal?" Kaguya's face slowly twisted into an insane grin. The Zetsu in her grip began to scream as it violently thrashed and clawed at her hand before slowly crumbling into a withered wooden husk. The Zetsu began to shake with fear as Kaguya turned to stare at them, a cheshire cat grin splitting her face. Before any of them could react she pounced on them and began draining them one by one.

"Well, that's one problem solved." Karin said "But what are we going to do about them?" Before anyone replied a bird made of clay dive-bombed them, exploding on impact. Everyone jumped away from the explosion, but quickly realized it had only served to separate them. "Great." Karin said blankly as Kakuzu stood across from her.

"So I end up fighting the little girl," he said "I'm very busy, so at least try to make it inter-" Kakuzu's hearts leapt from his body as five glowing chakra chains pierced his chest. He stared at the chains before he slowly pulled his cloak off. "You just destroyed one of my hearts." He calmly stated. "Normally I'd be upset. But seeing as you're offering something as rare and valuable as an Uzumaki heart to replace it, I suppose I can forgive you." Kakuzu's tentacles lashed out, entangling themselves in Karin's chains. His remaining hearts surrounded her and launched attacks at her. She quickly summoned a shield of chains to surround herself, but was barely able to hold the attacks off.

"Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!" She swore as another barrage of attacks smashed her chains. "I can't beat him in a straight fight, so I'll have to outsmart him." Another barrage nearly broke through her shield. "I hope Haku isn't having as much trouble as me."

=X=

Haku stared at his opponent, unsure of what to do. When he found himself faced with Hidan he quickly summoned his ice mirrors to ensure the insane cultist couldn't get his blood for his ritual. The downside was although he was safe from harm, he couldn't do any real damage to Hidan. The immortal nin shrugged off his senbon like they were nothing and Haku wasn't sure he could maintain his speed and use the Kubikiribocho at the same time.

"Hey sissy!" Hidan screamed "How about you get your little faggot transvestite ass out of your little make-up mirror and fight me like a real ninja. Or are you too busy bleeding like the little bitch you are?" Haku ignored the comment and launched another wave of senbon at him. Hidan quickly blocked most of them and the ones he didn't were easily removed. "Bitch put down the fucking sewing needles and fight me!" Hidan smashed his scythe into one of the mirrors leaving huge cracks all over it. Seeing an opening Haku refroze the mirror trapping Hidan's scythe. He quickly moved behind Hidan and swung Kubikiribocho as hard as he could. The massive blade entered the immortal's shoulder before stopping in his chest. Haku pulled the blade out and jumped back into the mirrors as Hidan broke loose and smashed several other mirrors. "You fucking faggot fuck! I'm going to enjoy ripping you limb from fucking limb!" Another mirror was smashed as Haku began to struggle repairing them.

"I can't maintain my mirrors in this desert environment," he weakly said to himself. "I hope Karin and Naruto are doing better than me. I don't know how much longer I can hold out."

=X=

Naruto stared down Sasori. He had tried to send some clones to aid Haku and Karin but the puppet in front of him had quickly taken them out.

"So," he said as he slowly began to circle his opponent. "It seems like Akatsuki held together pretty well even after Nagato disbanded it. Though none of you ever really seemed to enjoy working together. Kind of odd that you would stick with each other. Unless there's a new puppet master pulling your strings now." Naruto ducked as Sasori's tail lashed out with lightning speed. Naruto summoned a pair of clones to flank him and the trio launched a barrage of air bullets at him. His tail quickly twisted around his body, taking most of the hit.

"I don't know why you bother asking." Sasori rasped out "You are already well aware of our plans. Though how you learned of them is a mystery I would like to solve." His tail whipped around and destroyed one clone while he spit several senbon at the other. Naruto summoned more clones and continued to try to get into Sasori's blind spots.

"Actually I'm just making a few educated guesses. I have a few concrete facts but most of your plan eludes me." Naruto began to focus his chakra to his throat knowing that he had only one shot at this. "And just because somebody is on your side doesn't mean your enemies can't learn from them." Naruto to a deep breath and spat at Sasori. Thinking it was another air bullet Sasori raised his tail to block it, but was shocked when a glob of lava began melting his tail. Before he could react a clone with a rasengan smashed into his back. Naruto jumped back to see if he'd done any damage. Sasori's tail was now fully burned off and the armor on his back was filled with cracks. His body parts were all twitching as he tested their movement.

"You damaged my favorite puppet." He said slowly. "I can tell that you're going to become quite the thorn in our sides. Though I'm curious as to when you obtained the ability to use Lava Release. None of our intel indicated you had this ability." Naruto frowned. He had been hoping that his rasengan would destroy Sasori's armor completely. Now his enemy knew one of his biggest secrets. Thankfully he hadn't worked out the source of his secret. "No matter," Sasori said as he armed his weapons. "Killing you and the Kazekage just became higher priority." Naruto summoned more clones.

"I thought your plans revolved around capturing the jinchuriki, not killing them. Not that it matters since neither one of us is going down" The clones charged as Sasori fired his arsenal.

"Those were the plans of the old Akatsuki that you dismantled," he said "We no longer need the jinchuriki or the beasts they hold. We simply need them out of our way." The last clone was destroyed and Naruto and Sasori locked eyes. "And make no mistake, one way or another, two of our enemies will die tonight."

=X=

Gaara sent several tendrils of sand towards Deidara, who easily dodged and weaved out of the way, before launching several explosions his way. Gaara's theory that they had been stalling was proven correct as Deidara was now focusing all of his attacks directly at the village leader. Gaara pulled his sand back and cut Deidara's leg.

"Damn it!" he hissed "I should have known fighting you low to the ground was a mistake. I can't believe I had to carry all that shit to summon all these weaklings. If I had a full supply of explosives you'd have been dead long ago!" He threw several more clay spiders at Gaara who easily blocked them again.

"Then I suppose I should consider myself lucky that you aren't fully armed," he blankly said. "Though it would have been a good plan had Naruto not brought that woman with him." Deidara growled.

"Fuck you!" he snapped "I don't need pity from the guy I'm about to kill. Besides even with that bitch holding off the freaks that doesn't change the fact that two of your backup are nowhere near out level. They'll be dead soon enough and then their opponents will come for you." Deidara laughed and set off another round of explosives. 'He's right.' Gaara thought. 'I need to end this quickly.'

=X=

Naruto duck under another wave of senbon. When Sasori had stopped spitting them he had assumed the puppet was out of ammo. Sadly the puppets body was covered with senbon launchers which had made creating clones or getting close impossible. But now he noticed something new.

"Why isn't he attacking me?" Naruto asked himself. "He has enough puppets that he supposedly destroyed an entire country by himself. So why is he shooting senbon at me with a broken puppet?" Naruto became very nervous. There were four S-rank missing nin here plus an army of Zetsu. If they really wanted to kill him and Gaara they could have easily teamed up the kill Gaara then turned on him when he showed up. But instead they had waited until he showed up and now they were drawing the fights out causing lots of damage, but not actually killing anyone. What were they waiting for? A scream got his attention as something crashed in between them. The dust cleared revealing Kaguya draining another Zetsu as it weakly struggled in her grip.

"So that's how it is." Sasori said getting Kaguya's attention. "Looks like we're forced to use the fall back plan." A tube extended from Sasori's back and fired a flare as Kaguya raced forward and grabbed him by the head. She attempted to drain his chakra but quickly found no chakra to drain. Confused she looked up and saw Naruto running away chasing someone wearing the same cloak as the man she was holding. Looking down she saw that she was holding an empty suit of armor. With a snarl she crushed the puppet's head before turning to try and find some more Zetsu to drain,

=X=

"Hmm, so things have gone that badly." Hidan said as he looked at the flare. "Well, at least now I get to kill a bitch." He slashed his hand and began using his blood to draw a symbol on the ground. Haku tensed up as he waited to see what Hidan would do. He hadn't been cut so why was Hidan starting his ritual? Hidan finished drawing his symbol and pulled a vial of blood from his pocket. He drank it, turning his skin into a bizarre black and white making him look like a skeleton. Haku began to panic. 'Who's blood was that? Could they have somehow gotten my blood? Or someone else in our group?' Hidan reached into his cloak and pulled out a long thin sword. "Well, this has been fun. See you in hell!" Hidan stabbed himself in the heart and Haku reflexively grabbed his chest. After a few seconds he slowly relaxed.

"I'm still alive," he whispered. "He didn't get me. Oh thank goodness." He looked up to see Hidan grinning sickly as he slowly pulled the sword from his chest. Hidan giggled insanely as he put the sword away and stepped out of the ring. "But who did he kill?" Hidan held up his scythe and smashed one of the mirrors.

"Got to go," he said "I'm going to need to do a lot of praying to make up for not killing your little bitch ass," he then turned and ran off. Haku stared for a few seconds before chasing after him. 'I can't let him hurt anyone else,' he thought 'Karin, Naruto, please be safe.'

=X=

Karin panted as sweat ran down her face. She wasn't going to last much longer. Kakuzu's hearts gave off enough chakra that her Mind's Eye of the Kagura allowed her to predict their movements and dodge their attacks. Unfortunately beyond using her chains to hold the hearts back she hadn't been able to do a thing to Kakuzu. Now the greedy bounty hunter was starting to look bored.

"Is that all?" he asked "After that first attack, I was expecting something better. But here it turns out that one of my hearts was destroyed by a lucky shot," he growled angrily "There's no point in dragging this out any longer. Now die!" Karin sensed an attack from behind so she spun around and used a chain to smack down a fireball. Feeling the last of her chakra fade she collapsed and passed out, but not before she saw the heart that attacked her explode in a shower of gore. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Kakuzu yelled.

"Don't take it personally." Sasori said as he had the Third Kazekage withdraw his iron sand. "I bear you no ill will. But the fact of the matter is that at this point you are unneeded for our operation to continue. In fact, your continued presence is currently holding us back. So now, for the good of the mission, die." Sasori sent another wave of iron sand at Kakuzu, who attempted to counter by firing a pulse of lighting. While Kakuzu's body and lighting heart escaped damage, his earth and wind hearts were destroyed. He quickly pulled his lighting heart back into his body, knowing that he would die if it was destroyed.

"And what happens when you're no longer needed for the operation?" he asked "You seem to believe that since you're the one doing the backstabbing now that somehow makes you immune to it in the future." Sasori sealed the Third Kazekage and pulled a katana from his cloak.

"If I am no longer needed for the operation, than that means the operation was a success." he replied before charging Kakuzu. The heart stealer dodged, knowing that even he couldn't withstand being poisoned by the deranged puppet master. Focusing his chakra around his fist he punched as hard as he could and was satisfied as Sasori's head flew from his shoulders. But before he could celebrate Sasori's headless boy swung at him, barely giving him time to dodge. Sasori's head flew back to his body and twisted back on in a sickening manner.

"So, those rumors of just how far you've taken your human puppet technique are true." Sasori didn't respond, instead charging him again. Kakuzu expertly avoided his strikes while attempting to put his fist through Sasori's chest. Sadly having a puppet body meant the Sasori could twist and bend in very inhuman ways and not lose any fighting ability. After several minutes of going nowhere Kakuzu saw a opening and punched. Sasori turned as the fist gently grazed his chest. Kakuzu prepared to follow up but found his arm moving very slowly. Too late he realized that Sasori's free hand had been weaving chakra threads that were now holding his arm in place. Before he could pull free Sasori stabbed his final heart. Kakuzu spat up blood and glared at his redheaded opponent. "Enjoy your victory for now." he growled as he thought back to the leaders of Taki who had locked him up as punishment for failing to kill the First Hokage. "A leader willing to sacrifice his followers to further his on goals will turn on you sooner or later. Remember that." Sasori simply cut Kakuzu's head off and quickly sealed his body. Sasori then turned and approached Karin.

"Now what to do with you?" he asked himself. "You held off Kakuzu, which is impressive, but in the long run I doubt you'll amount to anything impressive." He raised his sword overhead. "Still I would rather err on the side of caution." He brought his sword down to stab Karin, but was stopped by a kunai. Naruto had once again gotten in his way. "I don't have time for this." he blankly said and made a seal. Another wave of explosions went off, but unlike the others that were centered around the Kazekage tower, these happened all over Suna.

"Shit!" Naruto jumped over Karin to protect her from an explosion that went off nearby. Looking up he saw Sasori was gone. He grabbed Karin and ran towards the Kazekage tower. He saw Gaara giving orders while several jonin were leading squads to contains the fires. Haku was standing next to him looking exhausted. "What happened?" Naruto asked as he landed next to them.

"Deidara was preparing to set off a giant bomb that would have caused massive damage to the city." he replied. "Suddenly he grabbed his chest and collapsed. Haku's opponent then came and retrieved the body. Before we could begin pursuit, the explosions went off."

"What happened to Karin?" Haku asked nervously as he took her from Naruto. "Is she going to be OK? She isn't hurt is she?"

"She'll be fine." Naruto said. "She's just suffering a mild case of chakra exhaustion. And you know how quickly an Uzumaki can get over that." He and Haku laughed weakly.

"Well," Haku said "I guess I'll just take her to the hospit….." Haku passed out as his own chakra exhaustion caught up with him. Naruto created a pair of clones to take them to the hospital while he helped Gaara clean up the mess he had created.

=X=

A few days later Teams Asuma, Kakashi, and Naruto where finishing with their initial aid to Suna. Ino and Sakura had quickly helped the injured at the hospital, Choji and Shikamaru had helped with the reconstruction, Asuma and Kakashi were helping coordinate the jonin leading the reconstruction, and Naruto had his clones running around acting as messengers. Thanks to them most of the minor damage had been fixed, though the Kazekage tower and the area around it was still trashed. Currently Naruto was helping Ino and Sakura at the hospital.

"The explosions were the cause of most of the injuries." Ino said looking over the charts they had. "According to witnesses these Zetsu guys weren't putting up much of a fight, when suddenly out of nowhere the exploded. Have you ever seen them do something like this?" Naruto shook his head.

"No. I've never seen a Zetsu explode." he said. "I've seen them merge together into large monsters, but I've never seen them fuse with explosives like that. I really hope they don't start doing that regularly." Sakura tried to be optimistic and gave Naruto a smile.

"Well if they do we'll just have to find a way to stop them." Naruto smiled and nodded, not having the heart to let her know just how bad the situation was going to get. Not yet at least. "Now the only person left to check is Haku. Karin said she was going to get the healing started and I'm curious to see how well it worked." Sakura walked away and Naruto was about to go see if Kakashi needed anything else when what Sakura said caught up to him.

"Oh, shit." Naruto said. A loud scream filled the air. Ino and Naruto quickly ran down the hall to find Sakura sailing in a doorway with her eyes bugging out of her head.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" she screamed "This is a hospital! You can't do that here!" Ino and Naruto entered the room and Naruto saw exactly what he was expecting. Which was Karin in nothing but her panties straddling Haku, who was biting one of her nipples. The two groups stared awkwardly at each other before Naruto poked Sakura's shoulder.

"Ummm….. Sakura? Remember when I said Karin's chakra had healing properties?" she nodded slowly. "Well her chakra only heals when it's sucked out of her. That's why she wanted to learn regular healing. She doesn't want someone who isn't her boyfriend biting her." Ino and Sakura blushed at the implications.

"Hey guys," They looked up and saw Karin staring at them. "I don't mind you staying to watch but could you please stop talking? You're killing the mood." The trio blushed brighter and left slamming the door behind them. Karin shrugged and resumed grinding against Haku. "Now where were we?" she asked in a sexy tone. Haku answered her by grabbing her ass and biting her other nipple. "Oh yeah! Right there baby! Just like that!" Outside the three Konoha nin grabbed their noses to stop the bleeding and ran off to find some tissues.

=X=

Meanwhile, in the Land of Rice Fields the citizens of the new Otogakure were going about their business. Right now it was just a large town, but once all the construction on the outskirts was finished it would be a small city, comparable to other shinobi villages. In the central tower Sasori as giving a mission report to four people.

"The explosive Zetsu did not cause as much damage as we were hoping. A woman in white, matching the description of the Kaguya woman we were told to look out for, drained most of them of there chakra." a growl came from the corner. "But we were successful in removing Deidara and Kakuzu."

"Excellent." the man behind the desk said. "We can begin making preparations to move to phase 2." Sasori gave a bow a turned to walk away. "And Sasori, please tell Hidan that if he can put off praying long enough to walk back here, he can put off praying long enough to give his own report." Sasori nodded and left. "So what do you think?" he asked a figure in the corner.

"I observed for as long as I could without being detected." Zetsu said. "I have not yet managed to learn how Uzumaki is controlling mother. Or how he turned her against us, her loyal servants." The leader nodded.

"Very well. Continue to observe her as frequently as possible. If we can recruit her to our side it will make things much easier." Zetsu nodded and sank into the floor. The remaining two people stepped in front of the desk. "What are you thoughts?" The tall orange haired boy spoke up first.

"Having Kaguya on our side would be in our best interests." he said calmly. "But based on Zetsu's observations we cannot hope for her to help us. It think ensuring that phase 2 goes off without any hitches is the best course of action at this point." The leader nodded and looked at the pinkette next to Jugo.

"The fuck you expect me to say?" she snapped "You're the fucking leader of this shithole. I'm just hear to fuck up that pineapple headed shitstain and his weasel fucking cum dumpster whore. How's that for a fucking plan?" The boy frowned.

"Tayuya show some respect." he said. "You are not vital to this plan. You can very easily be replaced by any number of Oto nin." she scowled

"Fuck off Jugo. I'll talk however I fucking want to whoever I fucking want. You fucking got that?" Jugo felt his temper being to act up but a spike of killing intent made both of them focus back on the leader.

"That's enough. Both of you." he said "Now leave. I have some documents that need to be finalized." They bowed and left, Tayuya a bit slower due to her noticeable limp. He turned and stared out the window at his growing city. "Just you wait Itachi. You, Konoha, and everyone else who ever disrespected the Uchiha clan will pay for your treachery!" Sasuke said as his purple ringed eyes pulsed with rage.

=X=

So sorry how late this is. My first attempt at a fight scene turned into me juggling four separate fights. Not totally happy with how they turned out, but as far as first times go it could have been worse. Also I found that I didn't like writing out having the characters call their attacks. Do you mind? Should I write them in the future? Maybe write out only the important ones? And sorry but no lemons for now. There will be some in the future though so don't worry perverts. Like I'm one to talk. Oh well. See you next time.


	5. The Roots of a Relationship

Hey everyone! So I have a few announcements before we start chapter 5. First, no matter what happens I can consider this story a success. Why? Because after the last chapter a bunch of brainless monkeys left me a bunch of anonymous "reviews" that were really just a bunch of hate speech. If I'm attracting trolls than that proves I'm doing something right. Second, why all the Sasuke hate? Yeah, he's a bad guy. But I haven't even shown just how bad he is yet. Save your anger. Third, in order to not spoil the story I won't be answering any more questions about the harem. If you're curious about who's in, you'll just have to wait and see. Hopefully I'll write a good story and you'll be able to enjoy it even if your ideal pairing isn't included. Unlike Kishimoto, I won't write something, then ignore it and slap together popular pairings just to get peoples approval. Fourth, and most importantly, after this chapter I'm going to take a short break to work on my original writing. It won't be too long, but I still wanted to give everyone a heads up. Alright, enough talking. Let's get this started.

cerxer1: I think being pissed is an opinion. You're saying "In my opinion, that was a bad idea." You're just being very blunt about it.

Acolyte of the Blood Moon: I haven't decided 100%, but that is what I'm leaning towards. I realized I was being a hypocrite. I hate when people just give evil characters a free pass for the sake of shipping, but I've read so many NaruTayu stories I didn't notice that I'd started doing the same thing with her. Fanfiction Tayuya is awesome, Canon Tayuya is a psycho bitch. So just to break things up, in this story she's a psycho. If you need a good Tayuya story to read, I recommend The Eternal Torment of Tayuya Uzumaki by ensou. It's a great story that needs more love.

Sith Raven's Shadow: Yeah, I just had to make that joke. And I understand. Writing on a tablet SUCKS! And I don't plan on writing a lemon with them but, see above.

Deiru Tamashi: That should be explained in the next few chapters.

MickDunD: Sorry, but it's going to be a while. See my plan is for Naruto to have 8 girlfriends. Right now he has 4. With the other 4 I want there to be a buildup. Hopefully it won't take too long but that build is still going to take some time.

kazuki2292: Sorry but no to both of them. I have a plan for Tsunade, that hopefully people are going to love. And Itachi is still a boy here.

ThePhenoix11: As much as I hate Sasuke, could you please come up with something more original then that. Sasgay was outdated, overdone, and unfunny 11 years ago. Hearing it now is, no offense, kind of sad.

Naruto Sakura Uzumaki: Thank you. I'm still really nervous since this is my first big story. And the answer is yes, eventually. Like Kaguya there's a buildup. There's going to be some drama and it's not all going to be sunshine and rainbows. But in the end yes.

McCabeRz: See I have some counterpoints but I can't really talk about them without spoiling the story. Let's just say, Naruto isn't a weak as you say, and Sasuke isn't as strong as he seems. Though your review does tell me my fight scenes still need work because I was going for 'Holding back to take them alive' not 'Barely able to keep up.' Though your review did inspire a scene in a few chapters that's not only really funny, but actually helps the story flow better. So thank you for that.

Have a Little Feith: I'm planning on having everyone in Naruto's harem have at least one lemon dedicated fully to them. So there will be at least one Naruto/Kaguya lemon. Hopefully more.

KHARAKI TAKAN: Wow lots of reviews. Most of your questions should be answered in the next few chapters. And I'm aware my grammar isn't perfect. I just do my best to catch the mistakes, so hopefully it's not unbearably bad. And I can't use my grammar checker, because it makes more mistakes than I do. Chapter 3, the one you complained about, was the only one I tried using the grammar check on. And I don't have a beta because I'm not that great at working with other people, especially on a timeframe.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. The disclaimer from chapter 1 applies here. If I did I'd make take down every bashing story on this site.

=X=

"Just what in the hell do you think you're doing?" Tsunade yelled as she paced behind her desk. In front of her were Teams Asuma, Kakashi, and Naruto. Team Naruto was taking most of the anger. "Just because you went on a three year trip doesn't mean you can just go running of to other villages whenever you feel like it. And how did you even know that Suna was under attack in the first place? And who attacked it?"

"Well," Naruto began, "I knew it was under attack because Shukaku told me. Over my trip I learned how to communicate with, and access the chakra of, all the biju. As for who attacked, those were the former Akatsuki members who left when the leaders abandoned their whole 'take over the world' scheme. Some of the other biju warned me that something like this could potentially happen. I just didn't think it would be so soon."

"Very well," Tsunade said, already feeling another headache coming on. "So who is this new group? Who are their members? What is their plan? And why would some of the biju be aware of them?"

"As far as I know this new group doesn't have a name." Naruto said. "I can answer your other questions, but I don't like repeating myself, so could I tell you in a few days when everyone gets here?" Tsunade narrowed her eyes.

"Naruto, what do you mean by everyone?" she said slowly. Naruto nervously scratched the back of his head.

"I mean I invited the leaders of Kiri, Suna, and Ame here and they'll be arriving in the next few days." Naruto took a step back at the glare Tsunade shot him.

"Are you insane?" she cried. "You can't just invite a bunch of foreign leaders to just waltz on in here! Do you have any idea what kind of message that will send other countries? They might think that we're preparing for something big!"

"Lady Tsunade!" Naruto said so sternly that her triad ended. Before it could regain steam Naruto continued. "In case it escaped your notice one of our closest allies has a smoldering crater in the middle of their village. Put there by a gang of S-class missing nin. It seems to me that somebody is already trying to send a message. I have a lot of info that I've been ignoring because I had no proof it was true and I didn't want to cause any problems. Now because of that there are dozens of people in Suna's hospital receiving from being blown up! We need to prepare for something big because something big is already starting, and one way or another I'm going to do my best to help the people close to me. I can do it with your permission or without it. What's it going to be?" Everyone watch nervously as Naruto and Tsunade stared at each other. Finally after what seemed like an eternity Tsunade sighed and pulled a bottle of sake from her desk.

"You are so lucky that I like you brat." she growled. "Fine! For now I'll trust your judgement. But I'm warning you. If this goes badly, you will be the one cleaning up your mess." Naruto grinned and gave hr a thumbs up as she poured herself a drink. "Now there is one thing you need to answer for. How exactly is Kaguya Otsutsuki here and why are you just letting her wander around completely unsupervised? Isn't this the same woman that nearly wiped out humanity?" Naruto tilted his head in confusion.

"Well her being back is part of the story I wanted to tell everyone," He said, ignoring her agitated groan. "And why would I not let her wander around? She's completely harmless." As he said this the window behind Tsunade smashed to pieces and Naruto ducked as a bone flew over his head and embedded itself in the wall. Everyone watched in confusion as Naruto walked over to the broken window and started waving. "Kaguya please don't break things." he said a little too happily. "When you do I'm the one who has to pay to fix them." Tsunade looked out the window and saw Kaguya standing on the window across the street. Her hand was extended, like she had just finished throwing something. Her fingers were twitching with annoyance, if her face was anything to go by. She turned and jumped away as Tsunade stared at Naruto.

"How exactly is that harmless?" she asked. "In case you didn't notice, people don't normally try to kill each other." Naruto shrugged.

"Maybe," he said. "But this is a huge improvement compared to how she used to be. I placed some seals on her that would paralyze her if she tried to drain the chakra of anyone. At Suna I removed them and told her they were gone for good. But what I didn't tell her was they will reactivate as soon as she tries to do it again. In the days since the battle she hasn't tried once. I know she isn't nice or normal, but she also isn't a monster. At least not anymore." Tsunade sighed knowing she wouldn't be able to talk Naruto out of this. Of course she doubted she could do anything against Kaguya even if she wanted to.

"Very well. For know you're all dismissed." Everyone saluted and turned to walk away. "Before you go Naruto, how many days will it take for everyone to get here?" Naruto thought for a moment before holding up 3 fingers. Tsunade was again stunned. Even ignoring Naruto's apparent ability to instantly communicate across long distances, she didn't see how they could all get here so quickly. Suna was understandably since Naruto could have just told them before he left. If Kiri had it's jinchuriki and they could talk with their biju like Naruto could she supposed that he could have told them as they were leaving Suna. But Ame? She couldn't think of anyway for Naruto to communicate with them, or for them to get here so quickly. She decided to stop asking questions and just let them go. As they walked down the hall Shizune walked up to Kakashi.

"So Kakashi," she said as she nervously adjusted the papers she was carrying. "My shift ends a little early today so I was wondering if perhaps you would care to join me for dinner tonight?" She blushed as Kakashi turned and eye-smiled at her.

"I'm very flattered Shizune." he said while Shizune's heart fluttered. "But I'm going to have to decline." Shizune's heart shattered. "It was nice talking to you though. Later." Kakashi walked away leaving Shizune disappointed until she felt someone tapping her shoulder. She saw Karin was the one trying to get her attention.

"Excuse me, Shizune was it?" she asked. She nodded so Karin continued. "I don't really think you're his type." Seeing Shizune's confused look she continued. "Well we in Suna and umm…" blushing slightly she leaned in and whispered in Shizune's ear. A number of expressions crossed Shizune's face, most of them some variation of confusion. Finally she pulled away.

"Are you sure?" she asked. "I know that Kakashi isn't exactly the most normal person around, but that seems a bit strange even for him." Karin nodded.

"A person's chakra will fluctuate a certain way when they're interested in someone else." she explained. "He was definitely interested." Shizune walked away looking more confused than ever. Everyone else left the Hokage tower and began to go their own separate ways.

"Speaking of dates," Naruto said. "Would you like to go out tonight Sakura?" Sakura stopped and thought about it. Part of her wanted to instantly reject him like she used to while she waited for Sasuke to finally come around. But another part wanted to say yes. The part that had formed when she saw Naruto bandaged in the hospital after the failure of the Sasuke Retrieval Mission. The part that had grown louder as she spent three years training and remembering her time on Team 7 and all the time she spent with Naruto while Sasuke did his best to distance himself from them as much as he could. As those two fought the third voice that was exhausted after the mission and wanted to crawl into bed and sleep spoke up.

"Not right now Naruto." she said. "Ask me again some other time." Naruto smiled. That wasn't a 'no' so he still had a chance.

"Alright Sakura. Some other time." He said. "Hey Ino. Would you like to go out tonight?" Both girls froze and stared at him. Finally Sakura spoke up.

"Naruto what the hell?" she asked angrily. "You can't just ask out two girls right in front of each other. Do you have any idea how rude that is?" At Naruto's confused look Ino spoke up.

"You're making it seem like you don't care who you're dating." she said. "Asking me right after Sakura makes it seem like you don't actually care what she said. But it's also like you're only interested in me because Sakura said 'No'. Not to mention if we both said yes you'd be cheating on us." Naruto began waving his arms in panic.

"No, no, no, no, no!" he said "I swear I didn't mean it like that. I'm so sorry. I'm still not used to the whole dating thing. I just kind of fell into my other relationships, and none of them ever minded me seeing other people." Once again Ino and Sakura were frozen staring at Naruto.

"Naruto," Sakura said slowly in a tone that promised trouble. "What exactly do you mean by 'other relationships'?" Naruto, unable to sense the danger began talking.

"I have four girlfriends." he said proudly while holding up four fingers. "Why? Is that not normal?" Sakura's eye twitched.

"No shit that's not normal!" she yelled. "How many people do you know who run around in openly polyamorous relationships? And why are you trying to get more? Are they not enough?" Naruto began flailing again.

"It's not like that!" he said. "Like I said I just kind of fell into them. And they said I could date other people if they approved and they're all coming so I figured I ask you both. I've always liked Sakura and Ino's pretty and kind so I figured why not?" Sakura was about to start another rant when she was cut off by the last thing she expected to hear.

"Sure Naruto. What time should I be ready?" Sakura turned and started dumbly at Ino. Ino laughed at Sakura's expression before shrugging. "What? It's just a date. If it works out great, and if it doesn't we can still be friends. Plus there's no guarantee I'll meet the approval of these mystery ladies."

"Great!" Naruto said. "I'll pick you up at 6." Ino gave a wave and walked away while Naruto did the same, leaving Sakura standing there, more confused than she'd ever been. Naruto started thinking about his plans for Ino. "Where should I take her?" he asked himself. "It needs to be somewhere fancy, but not too fancy. I don't think I can afford some of the places around here, plus it is just a first date. Save the fancy stuff for another date, if I get one."

"Excuse me, Naruto Uzumaki." Naruto looked at who pulled him from his musings and saw the same guy who had jumped him while he was talking to Team 8.

"Hey it's the creepy art guy." Naruto said with a grin. "Not to be rude, but I just got through dealing with one insane artist, so could you make this quick?" The artist gave a very creepy grin.

"My master wishes to have a word with you." Naruto's smile instantly fell and his face hardened. He fully turned to face the artist.

"Very well." he said coldly. "Lead the way Mr….." he left the question hanging hoping to get something out of the weirdo.

"For the sake of this mission, you may refer to me as Sai." the now named Sai said. He then turned and walked away with Naruto close behind him.

=X=

Sai lead Naruto to an abandoned building where he showed him to a secret passage in the basement. What followed was a maze the Naruto couldn't even pretend to keep track of. Eventually they entered a dark room with a single illuminated table. Sitting at the table was an old man wrapped extensively in bandages, His right arm was sitting in a sling. Seeing the two enter he made a gesture with his hand, causing Sai to stop walking. Naruto continued up to the table and sat down.

"So," he said as a cold smile crossed his face. "You're the infamous Danzo Shimura?" he looked the old man over. "Considering all the horror stories I've heard about you I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or impressed." Danzo's one eye narrowed.

"And how exactly have you heard about me?" he asked. "Or about my ROOT agents?" Naruto gave a low laugh.

"I don't even know where to begin." he said. "I suppose the first time I saw your name was when I took down Orochimaru." Danzo's eye widened in shock. "He talked a lot about you in his notes. Did you know you inspired most of the terrible things he did? Sure he took them a lot farther then you did, but you were still the one that inspired them. And of course you still enjoyed the benefits of his work." As he said this he stared at Danzo's "injured" arm. "Not to mention he gave full credit for Kabuto too you." Danzo gave a grunt.

"Orochimaru was the one who turned Kabuto traitor." he insisted. "Before that he was an ideal shinobi for Konoha." Naruto rolled his eyes.

"I'm sure you believe that." he said blankly. "But getting back to your question. Most of what I heard about you came from my time in Ame." Danzo's eye widened again and he leaned forward in his seat. "I see that got a reaction out of you. Yes, Akatsuki's decent from a band of rebels to an international terrorist cell is your fault. Not purely your fault, but you still have a lot to answer for. Unless I'm mistaken offering aid to another village in exchange for said village helping you stage a coup is very illegal. I guess we're lucky Nagato accidentally summoned Kaguya to wipe out your forces."

"Indeed," Danzo said as he subtly activated the stolen sharingan in his right eye. "Why don't you tell me more about this Kaguya woman." To Danzo's confusion Naruto shook his head.

"No thanks." he said. "She isn't really relevant to this conversation. Instead let's talk about what a hypocrite you are, trying to stage a coup after exterminating the Uchiha for doing the same thing." Danzo glared at Naruto. "Don't look so surprised. In case you forgot, Itachi was a member of Akatsuki. If I knew the history of it's leaders, learning about one of the followers shouldn't be that hard."

"Perhaps," Danzo said as he focused more power to his sharingan. "Of course you can understand why I'll have to ask you to never speak of this again."

"Yeah, that's not going to happen." Naruto said. "And can you do me a favor and stop trying to use that eye on me?" Laughing at the confusion and fear on Danzo's face Naruto decided to explain. "Did you know that a pair of sharingan are permanently linked? If a sharingan develops the ability to link to other dimensions, even if you implant those eyes in two separate people they will still link to the same space. And since it would be bad for someone with unbreakable hypnosis to accidentally hypnotize themselves anyone with the Kotoamatsukami can't hypnotize themselves. And if those eyes are separated the two people with the eyes can't hypnotize each other." Naruto slowly opened his mouth as a mass of black chakra flowed out. It took the form of a one eyed crow with a sharingan in its single eye. The crow cawed a few times before it retreated into his mouth.

"Where did you get that eye?" Danzo asked angrily. He made a hand gesture and Naruto sensed several ROOT agents surrounding them.

"Sadly for you Itachi no longer shares your ideals." Naruto said. "While he agrees that sacrifices are necessary for the greater good, he nows sees that sitting back and ordering everyone else to make sacrifices for you while you brag about how great you are helps nobody."

"It wasn't very wise of you to tell me all of this." Danzo said as he slowly stood up, his glare never leaving Naruto.

"It doesn't matter." Naruto said with an actual grin. "In a few days all those hornet's nests you poked are going to explode and there's nothing you can do to stop it. Now if you'll excuse me I have other stuff to do." Naruto stood and turned to walk away but found several ROOT agents blocking his way.

"You aren't going anywhere." Danzo said. "You will remain here until all the problems you have created for Konoha are taken care of."

"I hate to break it to you, but you are not Konoha." Naruto said. "You are a self-centered asshole who believes he can get away with anything by constantly spewing the phrase 'greater good' even though the greatest good you've ever done has been purely for yourself. And I really can't stick around any longer. I have a date tonight." Naruto then took a deep breath as he channeled chakra to his throat.

"Stop him!" Danzo yelled. But before they could move the ROOT agents were all blown away by the cloud of steam Naruto exhaled. The steam cleared revealing Naruto was gone. "Find him! Bring him back here at once!" The ROOT agents scattered, but Naruto had followed the steam to the nearest exit and was long gone.

=X=

Ino looked herself over in the mirror. Naruto had left before she remembered to ask what tone the date was. She wasn't expecting anything fancy, but really hoped he had enough sense not to take her to the ramen stand.

"Well he must be doing something right if he managed to win over four girls and got them to agree to share." she told herself as she adjusted the purple dress she had settled on. She hadn't done anything with her hair, and the only makeup she used was a bit of lipstick, enough to be sexy without drawing attention. She figured that she looked good enough that she didn't need a ton of makeup. "Well, here goes nothing." she said as she left her room and walked downstairs. At exactly six there was a knock on the door. Opening it see saw Naruto in a nice black shirt and good looking black pants.

"Wow, you look great." he said as he held out his arm for her to take. She closed the door and took his arm, while looking him over.

"Thanks, you don't look so bad yourself." she replied. She had never thought much of Naruto, but he had definitely grown to be handsome. "So where are we going."

"Nowhere special," he said. "Just the Lucky Leaf." Ino smiled. As expected he was taking her somewhere nice without being too fancy. She wasn't sure what she'd do if he took her somewhere formal with the dress she was in. In didn't take long to reach the Lucky Leaf and get a seat. After placing their orders Naruto decided to start the conversation. "So what's it like on Team Asuma?"

"It's OK I guess." she sighed. "I've been friends with Choji and Shikamaru since I was little so we get along really well and it's easy for us to work together. But sometimes I get the feeling Asuma doesn't really want to be a teacher."

"Really? What makes you think that?" Ino spent a few minutes thinking about how to phrase her answer. Finally she spoke up.

"Well I always feel like Shikamaru is his friend, but Choji and I are just his students." she said. "Sure he trains us. But him and Shikamaru always hang out before and after training, plus during training they act like they're best friends. Sometimes I get the feeling he's trying to get Shikamaru to take over our training." she snorted. "Good luck with that."

"I know how that is." Naruto said. "Kakashi never played favorites, but he never really taught us anything either. If you want you can always come train with my team." Ino smiled.

"Thank you Naruto. I just might take you up on that." she said as the waiter brought their food. "But let's talk about something more positive. Are you enjoying being back in Konoha?" Naruto shrugged.

"I guess so. It's great to be home but most of my time back has been spent being interrogated by Tsunade." the blonde pair laughed at that. "And I've barely even had any time to clean my apartment. Plus I forgot to ask anyone to take care of my plants so they all died. Now I have to start my garden all over." Ino instantly perked up.

"You like gardening?" she asked surprised. When Naruto nodded she quickly latched onto the shared interest. "How come I've never seen you in my family's shop? We're the best flower shop in the village."

"That's part of the problem." he said. "When you're the best, you tend to charge a little extra. I could never afford anything from there."

"Hey! Our shop isn't that expensive." She said with a blush. She knew that wasn't true. There were only a few flower shops in Konoha and her family's had a reputation for quality. Of course their prices were high compared to other shops. Deciding to move on she asked Naruto what kind of plants he grow, to see if she could help get him started. They talked about their favorite flowers, ideas they had for what flowers would look nice together, and tips and tricks they had for helping plants grow. Before Ino knew it they had been talking for several hours and Naruto was now walking he home.

"I figured we could do it by taking some white ones, then breed them with something closely related that's blue. What do you think?" Ino thought about it.

"I suppose in theory it could work." she said. "But I'm thinking that might produce a lighter shade than what you're looking for. Plus there's no guarantee the result would be capable of producing offspring." Seeing they had reached her doorstep she was surprised how disappointed she was that it was over. "Does it have to be over?" she asked. "The night's still young."

"Sorry but tomorrow's going to be a long day." he said. "The group from Suna is going to be here tomorrow, and since I invited them here it's only right I'm there to greet them." Ino raised an eyebrow.

"By group from Suna you just mean Gaara and his siblings right?" Naruto nodded. "Come on! There've been here a million times. They don't need you to show them around. Unless Temari is one of these mystery ladies?" Naruto laughed.

"Sorry but me and Temari?" Naruto wiped a tear from his eye. "That's never going to happen. Though Temari is the reason I'm showing up early. I promised I'd help set her up with Shikamaru."

"Temari and Shikamaru? Really?" Ino just couldn't see it. Shikamaru wouldn't want to bother with a relationship and Temari was way to outgoing for someone that lazy.

"Yeah they'll go great together." Naruto insisted. "Shikamaru just needs a few pushes in the right direction. Well Ino, I had a great time tonight. I'll see you around." Naruto gave a wave and started walking away.

"Wait!" Naruto looked back at Ino, who was blushing. "Isn't this the part where you ask me for a kiss?" Naruto grinned.

"Ino you shouldn't kiss on the first date." he said. "I had a great time tonight. I think we really had a connection. Maybe on the second or third date I'll ask you for that kiss. But first I'd need to get a second date with you." Realizing what he was asking she smiled and waved.

"I'd love a second date." she said. "But first maybe I should wait and see if these mystery ladies approve of me. But if they don't mind then sure. See you later." Ino blew Naruto a kiss and headed up to her room. Leaning out the window she smiled as Naruto walked away. This relationship was going to be far from normal, but it just might be worth it.

=X=

I need to stop giving myself deadlines. And it does is stress me out without really getting the story out any faster. Now a few things before we wrap this up. I'm not planning on giving Kakashi a serious relationship. What you will see throughout the story is a joke I thought up that really just grew a lot bigger then planned. But I don't want to piss off a bunch of Kakashi fans with a joke. I'm hoping everyone will find the punchline funny but with the internet, you never know. Also: HOLY CRAP! It's one thing when you get a lot more favs and follows than you ever thought you'd get. It's another thing when someone you're a fan of and you never thought you'd be as good as favs and follows you. So shout out to pain17ification. Hope you enjoyed. And everyone else, I hope you enjoyed as well. I'll get right back to this as soon as I finish the second chapter of my original story.


	6. A Dating Disaster

Hey everyone. I'm back and I'm so happy! Like I said I was working on my original writing. There's a lot of reasons for alternating between the two. Writing fanfiction id great practice, it takes the stress away, and most importantly, it helps prevent writers block and gives me new ideas. And while writing I realized I have the perfect opportunity to send a MASSIVE "Fuck you!" to Kishimoto, without changing anything about my backstory. And this is something I've been working on since WAY before I hated Naruto. It all fits together so perfectly I'd think it was fate if I believed in stuff like that. Sadly I won't get to use it until book 2, but that just gives me more inspiration to work on book one. But you don't really care about that. Darn. Oh well. Let's get started.

GentleReader1120: Took me a while to find because the author changed their name. Not bad.

RevampedAtol: You should have a good idea of the harem members in the next few chapters. I tease a few that aren't happening, but unlike Kishimoto there's actually a reason behind it, instead of a lot of buildup, followed by: "NOT HAPPENING!"

Acolyte of the Blood Moon: Not really. I write for fun anyways. A deadline just means I'm trying to cram more writing into a shorter timeframe. And I love fanfiction. I've read some amazing stories written by fans. But there's nothing worse than a bunch of fans sharing ideas with each other, because once enough people like an idea they tend to forget it's their idea, not canon. The popularity of the NaruHina pairing is the best example of this. It one of the most popular ships on the site, and most of them have the same basic things. Hinata is super nice and just takes a little push to be a total badass. But when you actually read the manga, not the anime made by the Hinata fanboys, the actual original manga, it falls apart really quickly. Hinata's a background character with almost no personality beyond liking Naruto, and the little bits we see aren't that great. I have no problem with NaruHina. But I do have a problem with 15 years of story being tossed aside in favor of "What's popular on Fanfiction?"

thor94: Yes he does.

MickDunD: That will be explained once all the leaders show up. I'm going to start making the chapters longer so that happens sooner. If you can please bear with me for a few more chapters.

Deiru Tamashi: According to the datebooks gardening is one of Naruto's hobbies. A lot of the NaruIno stories I've read use that as the starting point. I figured, why mess with success?

ncpfan: That should be clear in a few chapters. And don't worry. There'll be plenty of development between the two.

Naruto Sakura Uzumaki: Yeah. Originally I was only going to do that once to introduce Kaguya, but some many people liked it I figured I might as well throw in a few more.

meowy1986: You might want to reread things. Naruto never kissed Haku. Karin kissed him. Naruto wasn't even there when she did. And Haku's a boy because Haku's a boy. I don't know what else to say.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. The disclaimer from chapter 1 applies here. If I did I would value and appreciate every fan and not toss them under the bus for the sake of a quick paycheck or cheap laugh.

=X=

Ino hummed to herself as she watered the plants in her father's shop. Even since Naruto had dropped the bomb that the leaders of three separate villages were coming to visit, Tsunade had stopped assigning any new missions that weren't D or S-rank. S-rank missions were too important to ignore, even with foreign ninja running around, while D-ranks could be done without sending ninja away. She figured working in her dad's shop for a few hours while he had a meeting with the clan head was easier than a D-rank mission, and it'd pay more to. She heard the front door open and quickly got behind the counter.

"Welcome to the Yamanaka Flower Shop." she greeted, "How can I help you today?" She barely finished talking before Sakura grabbed her and pulled her close.

"You can help me by telling me what the hell happened last night." she said. "How was it? Did you find out who these other girlfriends are? Why did you even agree in the first place? Are you dating now?" Ino quickly slapped her hand over Sakura's mouth. Sakura stopped talking but her eyes still shone with curiosity.

"It was nice," Ino said. "We had a nice dinner, talked about each other, and he walked me home. And no, his other girlfriends never came up." She laughed at Sakura's confused expression. "I agreed to go out with him because I figured what's the worst that could happen? And I suppose technically we're dating, given that we scheduled training together, and I agreed to help with his gardening." She removed her hand and Sakura instantly began talking again.

"How do you date a guy with other girlfriends without asking about them?" she asked. She didn't get why someone who was just as interested in Sasuke as her would go on a date with someone she barely knew. Than again she barely knew Sasuke so maybe she was just chasing anyone good looking.

"Because they never came up." Ino said. "He wanted to know more about me and I wanted to know more about him. The other girls never came up. Once they get here I can get to know them. But until then I'd like to focus on me and Naruto." Seeing that Sakura still looked confused, Ino grinned. "If you're so curious about what the appeal is maybe you should just go on a date with him yourself." Sakura blushed. She wasn't as against the idea as she was three years ago, but part of her still held out hope that Sasuke would come to his senses and come back to her.

"M-m-maybe some other time." She stumbled out. Ino laughed at her friend as someone else came in.

"Honey, I'm back." Inoichi said as he walked through the door. "Hello Sakura. It's been a while since your last visit" Sakura politely bowed.

"Hello Mr. Yamanaka." she said. "Training with Tsunade has kept me really busy lately. I just stopped by to ask Ino about her date last night."

"I'll kill the little bastard!" Inoichi said flying into protective father mode. Rationally he knew Naruto wasn't the type of person who would do something to hurt Ino. But in the eternal war between father and boyfriend there as no room for rationality. "He better keep his hands to himself!"

"Daddy we've been over this," Ino sighed. "He was respectful enough that he didn't even try to kiss me after the date." Inoichi continued muttering while Ino started walking towards the door. "Now I agreed to help greet the representatives from Suna, so if there's nothing else to do here I need to go."

"Very well," Inoichi said, "Thank you for covering while I was busy." Ino gave him a hug, then left with Sakura right behind her. "My little girl's finally growing up." Thinking of the two boys from Team 7 he shrugged. "She could have done worse."

=X=

Ino and Sakura made their way to the front gates. Sakura was still trying to fork out Naruto's relationships in her head. The question that Ino hadn't been able to answer was: how exactly did it work in the bedroom? She got that Naruto valued his girlfriends as individuals. But was the bedroom purely one on one? Was it open door? Did you have to set something up with the other girl? Were you dating the other girls to?

"You're thinking of something perverted aren't you?" Sakura looked up and saw Ino was giving her a large grin.

"What makes you say that?" She asked, knowing that lying to Ino was hard, given her Yamanaka training and heritage.

"You were blushing and muttering to yourself." she replied. "I believe I heard you mention something about other girls joining." Sakura's blush grew worse. "Is somebody interested in a little threesome action?"

"Shut up!" Sakura screeched, hoping that Ino wouldn't notice that she had hit the nail right on the head. Ino laughed and began running with Sakura right behind her. Sadly for Sakura, the gates came into view before she could catch and get revenge on her loudmouth friend.

"Hello Naruto!" Ino sang as they approached. Jiraiya, Naruto, and Tsunade looked up from their conversation to see the pair of kunoichi approaching. "Hello Lord Jiraiya, Lady Tsunade."

"Hello Ino. What brings you here?" Tsunade asked. Her and Jiraiya had just finished making hotel arrangements since, according to Naruto each leader would be bringing 2 bodyguards each.

"I agreed to help Naruto get Temari and Shikamaru hooked up." she said. "Hopefully a girlfriend will motivate him to get off his lazy ass and train once in a while." Sakura and Tsunade snorted causing Ino to hang her head. "Yeah you're right." she groaned. "So what's the plan for today?"

"I will be meeting with Gaara to begin setting up the framework of this alliance Naruto apparently threw together." Tsunade said while shooting Naruto a look. "Naruto will be escorting his bodyguards around."

"Speaking of which," Naruto said, "Here they come." Looking up everyone saw Gaara approaching with his Kazekage hat on. As expected Kankuro and Temari were right behind him. The Konoha ninja approached and they met right at the gate.

"It is a pleasure to see you again Lady Hokage." Gaara said with a formal bow. Tsunade returned the gesture.

"It's a pleasure to see you as well Lord Kazekage." she said. "I trust you had a pleasant trip." Gaara removed his hat.

"Indeed it was. Normally I wouldn't leave Suna so soon after an attack, but thanks to Naruto the damage wasn't as severe as it could have been. Thank you."

"Don't thank me," Tsunade said. "Naruto's the one who took off running the second he realized something was wrong. Then he comes back and announces he's throwing a party for other village leaders." Gaara smiled.

"Naruto tends to not be very clear when explaining things." he said getting laughs from everyone but Naruto, who muttered angrily. "I have sent several letters to the other leaders, but I've never had the chance to speak to them in person. I'm hoping this will lead to an alliance that can benefit all our villages."

"Very well," Tsunade said. "Let's head to the Hokage Tower and begin negotiations. Naruto, stay out of trouble."

"Hey!" Gaara, Jiraiya, and Tsunade began walking to the Hokage Tower leaving everyone else behind. "Come on Temari," Naruto said. "We have a lot of work to do if you're going to score with lazy, dull, and scrawny."

"Naruto, don't call him that!" Temari said as she lightly pushed him. The trio of blondes left with Kankuro chasing after Gaara, and Sakura once again left by herself.

"I wonder if I should have told them about Hinata." Sakura said to herself. Heading back home she shrugged. "What's the worst that could happen?"

=X=

"So Temari," Ino said as they walked through the park. "What exactly is so great about Shikamaru? I mean, I've known him my whole life and he's nice but I don't think I'd ever date him."

"Probably for the same reason I won't date Naruto." Temari replied. "I see all the great things about him, but he's like a brother to me, and I'm not interested in sleeping with my brother."

"I guess," Ino said "But even if I wasn't that close to him he's just so boring." Naruto burst out laughing while Temari glared at Ino.

"I can't help it if I like the guy!" she said "You don't seem to mind splitting Naruto with 4 other girls!" Rather than get embarrassed Ino grinned confidently.

"What can I say, he's just that amazing. Are you sure you don't want to date your not really brother?" Temari cringed.

"Look," she said. "If someone wants to date a family member, they can go right ahead and do it. If you're close enough to someone that they're like a family member, then they're like a family member. But don't say someone's like a family member and then date them. Because then you're just going out of your way to be weird."

"As interesting as this is," Naruto said. "I've located the target." He pointed to a nearby hill where Shikamaru was staring up at the clouds. "Ok, here's the plan," Ino and Temari leaned in, interested to hear what Naruto had thought up. "Temari, go tell Shikamaru he's taking you out and when to pick you up and where to take you." The girls stared at him.

"That's your plan?" Ino asked "Just go tell him that they're dating?" Naruto nodded and grinned at them.

"Well I couldn't outsmart Shikamaru." he said. "So I figured just tell him he has to do it. He'll agree because arguing will take more effort than just doing what you say." The girls couldn't think of any way to argue with that.

"Alright, let's do this." Temari said as she confidently walked over to Shikamaru. Naruto and Ino watched as Temari stood over Shikamaru and started talking. Shikamaru sat up and seemed to start panicking as the conversation continued. Finally he fell backwards in defeat as Temari turned and walked back to them with a big smile on her face. "Well that was easy."

"So what are you going to wear?" Ino asked. Seeing Temari's confusion Ino's jaw dropped. "Oh my god, you've never been on a date before have you?" Seeing Temari's blush Ino grabbed her arm and dragged her away. "Don't worry. I have a dress that will look absolutely gorgeous on you."

"Umm… Naruto?" he turned and saw Hinata, who looked like she was on the verge of passing out. "Umm… Sakura told me that umm… you were umm… dating openly and umm… I was wondering if perhaps you'd be interested in going out with me tonight?" Naruto tilted his head in confusion. Hinata was interested in dating him? And weren't there rules for clan heirs and heiresses dating outside their clan? Wouldn't she need to give up being heiress to date him? How was she supposed to unite the main and branch families if she gave up being clan head? But there was one other problem that was a bit more pressing.

"Are you sure?" he asked. "You look kind of sick. Maybe we could do it some other time when you're feeling better."

"No I'm fine!" she yelled. Blushing at her outburst she continued at a normal volume. "Umm… that's just because I'm umm… nervous. I'll be much umm… better tonight. So what time should I expect you?"

"How about 6?" he asked, ignoring the fact that she had basically invited herself. She nodded and walked away with the biggest smile he had even seen on her face. "Man, two dates in two days? If I'm not careful I'm going to run out of places to take them." With that he left to plan his date.

=X=

Naruto sat across from Hinata trying to think of what to say. He had decided to repeat his date with Ino since that had gone so well. He probably should have told Hinata, since she was now a bit overdressed. But it was too late for that. Might as well enjoy it.

"So Hinata, what kind of training has your team done while I was gone?" he asked, figuring that training was one thing they were guaranteed to have in common.

"Nothing special I guess." She said. True to her word she was now much calmer than she had been earlier. "Kurenai showed us some genjutsu. Nothing too powerful, just enough to distract the opponent so we can move in and hit them with our taijutsu."

"Wow, really?" Naruto asked. "Kiba doesn't really seem like the genjutsu type to me. Or do you cast the genjutsu and Kiba goes in for the attack?" Hinata frowned.

"We never really discussed how to use them as a team." she said. "Kiba wasn't that interested in learning them, and Shino learned them, but he prefers to use his clan jutsu." Now it was Naruto's turn to frown.

"Not to be rude, but it doesn't really sound like she's taught your teammates all that much." Hinata scowled at him.

"You're not exactly one to talk you know." she said. "I seem to remember Kakashi ditched you for a month during the chunin exams."

"Yeah, and that was the first and only time he did it, plus it was only for a month while I was a genin." Naruto said, ignoring the fact he still was a genin. "It sounds like Kurenai has been focusing on you repeatedly for the past 3 years. Plus you're chunin. Shouldn't you be learning something a little more advanced than some basic genjutsu?"

"Genjutsu is Kurenai's specialty." Hinata said quickly coming to her teacher's defense. "Besides Kurenai has always done her best to teach us."

"I'm not trying to say anything bad about Kurenai." he said. "I'm just saying if you aren't learning that much under your teacher's best, you might want to consider getting a new teacher." Hinata could see Naruto's point, though she still didn't like him talking bad about the woman she thought of as a mother.

"So Naruto," she said trying to lighten the mood. "What did you learn over the past 3 years?" Naruto tried to think of something he could tell her that wouldn't reveal things he didn't want revealed yet and lighten the mood.

"One very important thing I learned is, no matter how much they claim to know about ninja, never get advice from a civilian." Seeing Hinata's confusion he grinned. "I met this guy, who insisted that he'd read enough about ninja that he could give me some great advice. He kept insisting that I was going to be an amazing ninja based on my unique skills. Like how my henge is an actual transformation instead of an illusion." Hinata tilted her head in confusion.

"But… the henge already is an actual transformation, not an illusion." she said. Were civilians really that clueless about ninja?

"I tried telling him that but he wouldn't listen. He said between my henge being real and my inability to create a basic bushin I would never specialize in genjutsu."

"Did he think that because bushin aren't solid they're illusions?" Naruto nodded. "That's so….." Hinata trailed off. She didn't want to call a civilian stupid for not understanding how ninjutsu worked. But being surprised that a transformation technique actually involved transforming, and thinking that clones, the most basic of ninjutsu, were genjutsu, was rather….. stupid.

"So, did you take any interesting missions while I was gone?" Naruto asked. With the tension gone they began exchanging stories. Hinata talked about some of the missions Team 8 had taken, Naruto talked about some of the sights he'd seen on his travels. Eventually they were walking back to the Hyuga compound. "Tonight was pretty fun."

"Yes, it was just as wonderful as I always dreamed it would be." Hinata sighed happily. Naruto raised an eyebrow. Hinata made it sound like she had been planning this for a long time. Well, whatever.

"Well Hinata, I suppose this is the end of our date." she pouted. "I really enjoyed our time together. I hope we can do it again sometime." He turned and began to walk away.

"Wait!" Hinata yelled. Naruto stopped and looked at her. "This is the part where you're supposed to kiss me." Naruto smiled at her.

"I'll tell you the same thing I told Ino. We don't know each other well enough yet. Ask me again on our second or third date." Naruto was about to walk away when Hinata stopped him again.

"But I'm not like Ino." Naruto looked back at Hinata with a raised eyebrow. "You don't need to prove yourself to me. Back in the academy when everyone else thought you were an idiotic loser I noticed you. There was never a moment when I doubted the you would become Hokage. No matter had bad things got you never gave up. You've always inspired me. You make me believe that I can be a better person, and accomplish my own dreams. I love you Naruto." She stepped forward, preparing to kiss Naruto. To her confusion Naruto took a step back.

"Hinata you couldn't possibly be in love with me." Hinata was fairly certain she heard the sound of her heart shattering into a million pieces. "Before tonight our longest conversation was just before the chunin exams. Before that we almost never spoke to one another. You don't know me well enough to love me."

"But I do know you." she desperately said. "I watched you. Whenever somebody said you couldn't do something you trained yourself as hard as you could. And I watched and wished that I could be as brave and strong as you so together we could help each other accomplish both our dreams."

"Hinata that's not love." Naruto said. "That's you using me as an emotional crutch." Hinata gasped. "You're a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for. Just have a little more confidence in yourself and there's nothing you can't do. And I'll be right next to you the whole time, as a friend."

"So what?" she asked as she glared at him. "You're saying that if I was braver I wouldn't even want to be with you? That you'd just be an acquaintance and nothing more?"

"Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying" he replied. "And I can prove it to you."

=X=

"Come on please?" Naruto said as he crawled on his knees next to Tsunade. "You don't have to make her your next apprentice or anything. Just give her a little extra training so she'll be confident enough to stand on her own."

"Naruto we've been over this." Tsunade said as Naruto stood up, "If I'm going to make this alliance you've set up work, it's going to take a lot of my time. I won't have time to train Sakura and Hinata."

"Tsunade you and I both know that Sakura has essentially finished her training under you." Naruto said. "Anything you haven't taught her at this point she's either learned it from Shizune, or she taught herself in her free time. Come on. I turned you 30 again. The least you could do is help my friend out." Tsunade sighed and rubbed her forehead. She knew that Naruto was right, both about Sakura and about her owing him. She was just lucky he was asking he for something so mundane.

"Fine." she said. "I'll work out a training schedule with her later. Now who exactly are we going to meet this morning?"

"Thank you so much!" Naruto said pulling her into a hug. "I promise you won't regret this." Tsunade smiled and returned the hug before they resumed walking to the gates. "And today the representatives from Ame should be showing up." Tsunade noticed that Naruto seemed slightly nervous.

"I really hope you know what you're doing." she said to herself. The last experience she had with Ame involved her team barely managing to escape with their lives from Hanzo near the end of the Second Shinobi World War. She vaguely remembered something about Jiraiya leaving to train some orphans, but shortly after that she had learned of Dan's death and had stopped caring about anything.

"Relax." Naruto said as they finally reached the gates. "Everything will be fine. I just need you to trust me like you always have."

"I do trust you Naruto." she said as Jiraiya walked up. "It's the bunch of people from Ame I don't know that have me worried." Historically Ame didn't have the best relationship with Konoha, or any other Hidden Village.

"Speaking of," Jiraiya said as he stared down the road leading to Konoha. "Any idea when out guests are going to get here?" Naruto put a finger on his chin and thought.

"They should be here really soon." he said. "I don't think it takes that long to fly here." Jiraiya and Tsunade shared a look.

"What exactly do you mean by fly?" she asked, hoping this wouldn't turn into another 'wait and see' situation. Before Naruto could respond and loud shriek caused everyone to look up. Flying towards them was, without a doubt, the ugliest bird any of them had ever seen. It had three wings and three legs causing it's flight to be shaky. It's oversized beak resembled a huge drill more than anything else. The huge creature landed just outside of Konoha's gates.

"That's what I meant by fly." Naruto said as a trio of cloaked figures climbed off the bird's back. Spotting the familiar red cloud pattern Tsunade turned to Naruto.

"I thought you said Akatsuki didn't exist anymore." she said "Why are they here?" Naruto nervously scratched his cheek.

"Technically they aren't Akatsuki." he said. "Akatsuki started out as a rebel group trying to overthrow Hanzo. Then some horrible stuff happened, that I promised I would help them fix, and they became a terrorist organization. Then I met them and we managed to talk things out. They're aren't a terrorist organization anymore, but since they rule Ame now, they aren't exactly a rebel group. So they aren't really Akatsuki, but the red cloud symbol means a lot to them so they kept it." Suddenly one of the cloaked figures turned away from the giant bird and began charging them. Tsunade was prepared for a fight but stopped when the figure began waving.

"Master Jiraiya!" a female voice happily sang out. Tsunade saw Jiraiya freeze, an expression of shock and confusion on his face.

"No," he whisper to himself. "It can't be." The figure jumped at Jiraiya and tackled him into a hug. As she did her hood fell down revealing and young woman with blue hair and pale skin. She had a pierced lip and eyeshadow that matched her hair.

"It's so good to see you again." she said happily. She opened her eyes revealing them to be a steely gray. She let go of Jiraiya, who stepped back in confusion.

"Konan? How are you here? I thought you were dead." Konan turned and looked at Naruto. They stared at each other for a few seconds before a look of realization crossed his face.

"Oh crap, I forgot." he turned to his teacher. "Konan and Nagato say 'Hello.'" Jiraiya face palmed while Konan giggled as she approached Naruto.

"You know it's a good thing you're cute because you'd never get by with just your brain." Naruto pouted and pulled her into a hug.

"Hey, that's not fair." he said. "I've been working on getting smarter. I hate for my stupidity to accidentally get you hurt." Konan laughed again before leaning forward and pulling him into a deep kiss. She pulled back and stared into his eyes.

"I missed you." she said before pulling him into another kiss. Jiraiya and Tsunade's jaws hit the ground as Naruto pulled back and kissed her cheek.

"I missed you too." he said while continuing to plant kisses on her cheek. Jiraiya was torn between happiness that Konan was still alive, confusion as to how she knew Naruto, and pride at Naruto for finally opening his eyes to the amazing beauty that is women. Before he could dwell on this another familiar, but much less welcome voice spoke up.

"It's been a while Jiraiya." the toad sage quickly assumed a fighting stance while turning and coming face to face with a pair of glowing red eyes. "From your reaction I take it Lady Tsunade has ignored Naruto's request that the truth behind the Uchiha Massacre be revealed." Jiraiya raised an eyebrow. He thought Naruto wanted Itachi's final mission declassified. What did that have to do with the Uchiha Massacre?

"Itachi Uchiha," Tsunade said in a voice that promised pain. "Maybe you should consider the fact that discussing S-rank secrets in public is a crime punishable by death."

"Lady Tsunade," he said with a polite bow. "I apologize, but one way or another, the truth will be revealed. Weather you choose to reveal it, or me and Naruto have to tell everyone ourselves. Either way, you can't stop it." Jiraiya looked back and forth between the two. Just what was happening?

"Oh really?" Tsunade asked. "And even if you did that just what makes you think you'd be accepted back here?"

"Simple," he replied "I will aid the leader of Ame in taking down the traitor Danzo Shimura. Once his crimes are exposed, the general public will be far more accepting of me." Seeing an opportunity to learn more Jiraiya spoke up,

"Just who is the leader of Ame?" he asked. "And why would he have such a problem with Danzo?" Itachi gave a smile that reminded Jiraiya a little too much of Naruto.

"She is right over there." he said, pointed to the third figure who had just dispelled the bird summons that they had rode here. Jiraiya was rather surprised. The girl looked to be about Naruto's age, with flaming orange hair and too many piercings in her face. As she approached she met Jiraiya's eye causing him to freeze. A pair of very familiar purple ringed eyes stared at him.

"It's very good to see you again Master Jiraiya." the girl said. Jiraiya stared blankly. He had seen and heard a lot of crazy things since Naruto came back, but there was no way he was actually seeing what he thought was in front of him.

"Nagato? Is that you?" The girl blushed and looked away. "What the hell? How did this happen?" she turned and glared at Naruto, who was no longer kissing Konan. but was still holding her closely as they talked.

"That conversation can be saved for later." she said sounding slightly embarrassed. "For now there are more pressing matters. Where is Danzo Shimura?"

"Look Nagato, whatever happened I'm sure-" he was cut off by her grabbing him and, with a strength her small frame shouldn't have possessed, pulled him face to face with her. He stared into her eyes. They were the coldest, cruelest, most hate filled eyes he'd ever seen.

"WHERE IS DANZO SHIMURA?"

=X=

That was fun. I almost made my deadline this time. Probably would have made it, but then I saw Eroninja updated and reading that knocked me back a bit. In my defense, it was a really good chapter. Speaking of good chapters I really like this one. We have the beginning of Hinata's story, we finally meet one of Naruto's girlfriends, and we see a version of Nagato that, as far as I know, has never been done. If I'm wrong please direct me to where you saw it so I can apologize. Oh, and Age of Ultron was awesome, and the Naruto spinoff is ten shittier than I thought it'd be. Until next time.


	7. Uprooted

Chapter 7 time! A lot of stuff happening this chapter. A lot of fight scenes, which will hopefully be better than the last ones. Plus my very first lemon. I really hope it goes well. The last chapter got some mixed reception, so I hope you all like this one better. Review time!

Have a Little Feith: Fanfiction, fan opinions, fan polls, who cares? The point is a writer should not be taking orders from readers. Constructive criticism is fine, but a writer shouldn't look to the readers and ask "What do you want me to do next?" And no it was not! Out of 700 chapters Naruto and Hinata only interact in 15 of them. Most of those were during the chunin exams, and most of them were 1 page "Hello"s to remind us Hinata existed. Naruto and Hinata's "relationship" makes of less than 2% of the story. You can make all the arguments you want for and against NaruSaku but the fact is NaruHina has nothing in story supporting it, no matter how much the anime makes Sakura a bitch and plays up Hinata's importance. If Kishimoto wanted me to take NaruHina seriously, he should have put more than 2 NaruHina moments in the series, instead of insisting that a lot of important character development happened offscreen and anybody that actual followed the story is dumb for not seeing it. And one sided? Sakura did more for Naruto while she was still in love with Sasuke than Hinata did for anyone throughout the entire series! Hell, the series could have ended with NaruSasu being declared canon, and that would have been more well developed and believable than NaruHina as it is. Plus Kishimoto himself said that SasuSaku is a horrible pairing that would never work out with nothing in story supporting it. The only reason he did it was because he felt people wouldn't accept NaruHina if Sakura was single, and she wouldn't be with anyone other than Naruto or Sasuke. Though I doubt you're reading this because you don't like gender bends. Sorry to lose your viewership, but unlike Kishimoto I'm not going to sacrifice my story for more readers. Plus even if you are reading this your review used the exact logic I was complaining about, so I'm not sure any of this will reach you.

Umi no Suiro: The henge is an actual physical transformation. Somebody wrote a story where they're illusions except for Naruto. Somebody else thought it was a good idea and copied them. Soon everyone was putting it in there stories because they all "knew" it was an illusion, even though it's not. Just like everyone "knows" Ino is an heiress, everyone "knows" Tsunade is Naruto's godmother, everyone "knows" Anko works for T&amp;I, and everyone "knows" Sabaku is Gaara's last name. None of those things are true. But they show up in fanfiction so often that people forget that. And the F.U. to Kishimoto is actually something I'm putting in my own original writing.

jetzer0: More or less. The next chapter or two should fully explain it.

Acolyte of the Blood Moon: I'm going to try to avoid going overboard, but I will be taking a lot of shots at fanon.

kazuki2292: I've answered that question multiple times. No.

agar: Most of it will be explained in this chapter.

Naruto Sakura Uzumaki: I'm aware. Right now he's in the Second Animal Path. The reason for how and why will be explained in the next few chapters.

shadowbroker13: I don't want to spoil the story. So I can neither confirm nor deny Hinata's presence or lack thereof in the harem. Hinata may or may not hook up with Naruto or she may or may not hook up with someone else. Maybe. You'll have to way and see.

KHARAKI TAKAN: THANK YOU! I know right? It's like at this point you're contractually obligated to pair Hinata with Naruto in some way shape or form. And I hate stories like that to. "Chapter 1: Sakura's a bitch. I've always loved Hinata. I just decided to stop being stupid and weak and it happened with no effort on my part. Aren't I just perfect and totally not a Mary Sue?" Barf. And technically it's both. Normally I don't like gender bends either. I'm going to try to avoid the things I don't like about them, which is mainly the person instantly has no problem with being the opposite gender. Nagato's gender problems will be taken very seriously. The how and why will be explained in the next few chapters. Hopefully I can convince you. If not I thank you for reading up to this point. And I agree Age of Ultron could have been a lot better. I was good, but could have been better.

Animelover2193: I doubt you're reading this, but I don't hate Naruto. I definitely hate what it's become, but my comment about the anime being garbage meant exactly that. The anime is garbage. It reduces every character to a single, poorly written, obnoxious personality trait. Clearly Kishimoto doesn't mind given that he's given Studio Pierrot complete control over the franchise at this point. But that's not important. Enjoy whatever you're reading instead of this.

blassreitter: Sorry. I also like the NaruMari pairing. At one point I was thinking of pairing them together. But I just couldn't break up Shikamaru and Temari. They're the only thing about the end that wasn't fished out of the toilet earlier that morning.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. The disclaimer from chapter 1 applies here. If I did I wouldn't constantly preach a lesson then toss it aside for the sake of moving the plot forward.

=X=

Danzo paced back and forth deep in the bowels of his ROOT facility. Even since his conversation with the Kyubi jinchuriki two days ago the brat had proven impossible to get close to. He was almost always out in public places, usually with several other people. Stationing agents outside his home in hopes of capturing him while he slept had proven fruitless, as he was apparently sleeping somewhere else. Danzo growled. If that brat ran his mouth to Tsunade then everything he had spent years building would come crashing down in an instant.

"You should not let your emotions get to you Lord Danzo." a voice behind him said. "That's what makes ninja sloppy and causes them to fail. Isn't that your philosophy?" Danzo turned and saw Itachi calmly standing in the doorway.

"You certainly have a lot of nerve showing your face here." Danzo said as he ordered his ROOT agents to surround Itachi.

"I would advise against that." Itachi said. "We have a very limited amount of time if ROOT is to survive." Danzo gave a humorless laugh.

"You honestly expect me to believe that?" he asked. "It's bad enough the Kyubi Jinchuriki found out about me through Orochimaru, but then you went and told him about my role in the Uchiha Massacre. Not to mention you gave him Shisui's Kotoamatsukami. What possible explanation could you have to justify that?" Itachi stared back at him.

"If Naruto was going to tell Tsunade about you, don't you think he would have done so already?" Danzo glared. While he had found it strange that Tsunade hadn't been informed of his activities he didn't think that justified anything.

"So what?" he asked. "Obviously the boy is planning something. Likely something that will allow him to dispose of me while making himself look like the hero." Truthfully Danzo didn't think Naruto was capable of foresight on that level, but it was the best explanation he had at this point.

"Naruto isn't capable of planning something that complex." Itachi stated calmly. "What he is capable of doing is trusting people who have already tried to hurt him in the past. For example, I told him that your encounter with Nagato happened after the Uchiha Massacre and was an attempt by you to bring Nagato under your control. He now believes the Rinnegan is immune to the Kotoamatsukami." Danzo raised an eyebrow. Now that he thought about it, Naruto had referred to his alliance with Hanzo as coming after the Uchiha Massacre. At the time he had been more worried about the fact Naruto was even aware of such things. But what Itachi was implying definitely had his interest.

"Do you believe the Rinnegan could resist the Kotoamatsukami?" he asked eagerly. Having the Rinnegan at his disposal would make taking the position of Hokage much easier. Once it was secured nobody would be able to oppose him. He could pluck them out and implant them at his leisure.

"I am unsure." Itachi said. "Truthfully me giving Naruto the other Kotoamatsukami was merely an educated guess, to ensure you didn't accidentally interfere before I could speak with you. I apologize for any problems I may have caused, but Nagato has been increasingly paranoid since allying with Naruto and I was unable to contact you." Danzo didn't drop his guard. In theory, what Itachi was saying could be true, but he hadn't gotten to where he was by being trusting. Trusting was what had allowed people like him and Orochimaru to prosper under the Third Hokage's reign.

"Very well," he said. "How would you recommend we proceed?" This would be his test. Depending on how Itachi answered, he would know if he could go along with his plan, or if he would just kill him now. He could always use an extra pair of Sharingan for his arm.

"We don't have much time." Itachi said. "Right now Nagato and Naruto are likely spilling everything they know about ROOT to Jiraiya and Tsunade. I placed a genjutsu on them so they won't notice my absence, but I doubt it will take them long to notice. From what you said earlier, I'm assuming you brought Naruto down here correct?" Danzo nodded. "Then we'll need to fortify our defenses along whichever entrance you brought him in through. Do you know which entrance he escaped through?" Danzo growled.

"Unfortunately, no." he said "The boy somehow produced a cloud of steam and managed to cover his tracks as he escaped. Do you know how he did it?" Itachi nodded.

"It would appear that during his journey Naruto made a point of speaking to all the jinchuriki." Danzo's eye widened. Was the brat trying to cause an international incident? "It seems jinchuriki are capable of sharing their chakra with each other. Because he has all of their charka within him Naruto is capable of using all of the Biju's unique abilities, though only at the most basic level. I believe the cloud of steam was a severely underpowered boil technique."

"Do you think this chakra transfer could be replicated in non-jinchuriki?" Danzo asked. The potential for all his ROOT to have the abilities of all the biju, even on the most basic level, was too good to pass up.

"I don't know." Itachi said. "But perhaps those thoughts should be saved until after the situation has been dealt with." Danzo nodded, disappointed in himself for losing focus like that. "Now since we don't know where he exited the base we can't guard against them entering from that point. Unless you believe ROOT has the manpower to guard every single entrance?"

"We do," Danzo replied. "But our forces would be spread extremely thin. If they do enter through a different entrance than the one the jinchuriki knows of, our forces will be overrun."

"But if we don't place anyone and they do enter there, nothing will stop them from reaching us." Itachi closed his eyes in thought. "Perhaps we should keep our forces here, then send them to defend whichever entrance they attempt to enter through."

"I think it would be best if-" An explosion shook the base before Danzo could finish. Looking at the nearby security cameras he saw Konan and Tsunade leading a platoon of ANBU in through the entrance Naruto had used.

"It appears we don't have time to continue this debate." Itachi said. "What do you recommend we do?" Danzo turned and pointed at the ROOT who had been standing by to see if Itachi was a threat or not.

"Fortify the entrance!" he ordered. "This is our only opportunity to stop them!" The ROOT quickly and silently left. Itachi approached and watched the cameras over Danzo's shoulder. Between Konan and an ANBU with wood release, they appeared to be attempting to capture as many as they could. "What a fool." Danzo said. "Showing mercy to a force created solely for the purpose of destroying her. This is why sooner or later she'll fail."

"What should we do about Kaguya?" Itachi asked as Tsunade began to advance. Danzo scowled at the name.

"That's the second time I've heard her mentioned." he said. "Who is this woman? What is she capable of?" He sensed a spike of chakra and felt Itachi tackle him as a beam of light destroyed the security cameras. Looking up he saw Naruto standing with a girl with the Rinnegan with a bizarre weapon for a hand and a woman in white with three eyes.

"That is what she is capable of." Itachi said blankly. Nagato's hand transformed back to normal while Naruto glared at Itachi.

"Itachi what the hell?" Naruto yelled. "What happened to all that talk about restoring Konoha and cleaning out the corruption?" Itachi stared back at Naruto.

"I lied." he responded. Naruto growled with anger before Nagato put a hand on his shoulder and stepped in front of him.

"Save your breath Naruto." she said. "It would seem once a traitor always a traitor. But he's not my concern." She turned and glared at Danzo. "Danzo Shimura." she growled with a slightly psychotic grin. "You have no idea how long I've waited for this day. I'm going to enjoy killing you as slowly and painfully as I possibly can." Danzo smiled and uncovered Shisui's eye.

"Unfortunately for you," Danzo said. "Your vengeance will need to wait until you've finished serving me." He began channeling chakra to his eye when a sharp pain shot through it. Confused, he blinked a few times before he realized his field of vision had been narrowed. Turning his head he saw Itachi standing next to Nagato and Naruto, with Shisui's eye in his hand. Nagato and Naruto both had stunned looks on their faces.

"I didn't even see you move." Naruto said amazed. "How did you do that?" Naruto's mouth shot open and the crow with Shisui's eye carefully took the other one from Itachi and dispelled itself.

"When you transplant an eye the optic nerves, muscles and bone all heal in a specific way." he said. "In their paranoia the Uchiha developed several techniques designed specifically for plucking stolen eyes out of their sockets." Naruto turned slightly green.

"Itachi you bastard!" Danzo said as he covered his eye. "Whatever you're planning you won't get away with it!" Several ROOT appeared, having come to warn Danzo that the ANBU were slowly gaining ground. Itachi smiled.

"I already have." he said. "My sole purpose for being here was to ensure that Shisui's eye wasn't damaged. Now that it's safe, I'll leave Nagato to deal with you." The ROOT ninja surrounded Itachi and stabbed him. Itachi burst into a murder of crows and the ROOT agents all fell to the ground with debilitating, but nonfatal wounds. Danzo growled and unsealed his arm.

"Fine then," he said. "I'll finish you once I've finished the girl." Nagato's eyes narrowed in anger. Before either could make a move the entire base shook again and sand began leaking through cracks in the walls. Taking advantage of Danzo's distraction Nagato charged.

"DIE!" she screamed as she drove a kunai into his skull. She allowed herself to be satisfied for a few seconds before Danzo's corpse vanished. Nagato turned to face the sound of something being summoned. She saw Danzo standing on top of a colossal tapir.

"Not bad girl." Danzo said as Nagato growled. "But I won't be making that mistake again. Baku, destroy her." Baku's truck swung at Nagato who held an arm up to block it. To Danzo's amazement and horror, instead of becoming a bloody smear on the ground she was just barely knocked backwards. Baku's trunk was now being held by Nagato, who had sprouted several extra arms. She reached up and tore of her damaged cloak, revealing that she was wearing standard ANBU armor, only the sides of the shirt were slit, allowing her extra arms to move freely, and the shirt was short enough to expose her waist.

"My turn." she said as she flashed through several hand seals. In a cloud of smoke a gigantic centipede appeared and began crawling up Baku's trunk. The tapir snarled as it attempted to throw the giant arthropod off. It hissed an dug its fangs into the summon's nose. As the two fought Nagato jumped onto Baku's back. Danzo spat several air bullets at her, which she quickly dodged. Focusing her chakra around her waist she summoned her Asura Path's tail. The massive saw blade flew forward and cleaved Danzo in half at the waist. Just as the two halves were about to land they vanished. With a scream Baku dispelled itself, the centipede's venom finally getting to him. Nagato jumped back to the centipede's head and saw Danzo standing it front of her. "How are you doing this?" She asked.

"I could ask the same of you." he said as he stared into her eyes. "I seem to recall the Rinnegan user was a young man. Yet there's no doubt you're eyes are real. How did you get them girl?" Nagato snarled and pointed her hand at him.

"STOP CALLING ME THAT!" She screamed as a blast of gravity flew from her hand and blew Danzo to pieces. Without waiting she umped off her summon's head and, as expected, landed right in front of Danzo. He quickly moved to stab her with a kunai, while she reached out to grab him. Ignoring the pain in her shoulder. she quickly grabbed Danzo's face and channeled her Human Path, sucking out his soul. Immediately she knew sometime was wrong. Normally souls stolen through the Human Path were like books that she could look through and read at her leisure. Danzo's was like a hastily written note that was rapidly burning up. Focusing her thoughts she barely managed to find what she was looking for. She turned to face Danzo, who was beginning to look nervous.

"What are you so happy about?" he asked seeing the insane grin on her face. She pointed to Danzo's arm, where four of his Sharingan had closed.

"It was close but I managed to find out the secret behind your little trick." she said. "Placing a genjutsu on yourself to ignore every fatal injury you receive is rather clever. And rather enjoyable for me. I've already killed you four times. Now I'll get to enjoy killing you another 7 times." She threw a wave of shuriken at Danzo who summoned a wall of wind to block them. Nagato quickly used her Preta Path to break through the wind wall, then quickly used her Asura Path to put her fist straight through Danzo's chest. Unlike before he crumbled to dirt. Looking around she saw Danzo was gone. "So, the rat's trying to run away, is he?" she said to herself. She turned and faced Kaguya, who had been standing off to the side, while Itachi and Naruto had kept any ROOT agents from interfering. "I believe we had a deal?" Kaguya scowled at being ordered around, but didn't say anything. Instead she held out her hand, opening a portal in the middle of the room. A few seconds later Danzo fell through, looking confused as to how he had ended up back there. "It's useless Danzo." Nagato said. "As long as Kaguya's here, any path you run down, any rock you hide under, an hole you crawl down, all of them will lead back here. You can't escape me. Now die!"

=X=

Konan ducked under a stray kunai before sending another wave of paper forward. As Itachi had predicted the ROOT members were all charging into the bottleneck created by attacking one entrance. They didn't have any plan of attack, they just suicidally charged, hoping to take out as many ANBU as they could. What they hadn't counted on was Gaara, Konan, and an ANBU with wood release. Between the three of them they were able to immobilize the ROOT long enough for the ANBU to incapacitate and capture them. Unfortunately, unlike them, she was limited by how much paper she could carry. The situation was made worse by the fact that the battle had been dragging on longer than expected.

"Nagato, Naruto, please be safe." she whispered to herself. She knew she shouldn't be thinking of them while fighting a battle of her own, but she just couldn't help it. The two people closest to her were fighting the monster who had ruined her life. Not to mention their backup was an even worse monster. Naruto may have been willing to trust Kaguya, but she didn't think she ever would. The fact that her compliance in this plan had been earned by promising her that she could drain the life from all the ROOT that were too far gone to be integrated back into the regular ANBU just showed what kind of person she really was. Those ROOT would be killed either way, but that didn't change the fact that Kaguya's loyalty was being bought with human lives. As she blocked several shuriken the sounds of a massive explosion shock the base, causing the lights to flicker. All the ROOT froze making them easy to capture. As Konan pinned them she heard one whisper.

"Lord Danzo… is dead….." Konan's eyes widened in amazement. Had they done it? Had they really done it? Was that monster really dead? Konan impatiently waited for the ANBU to arrest the last of the ROOT before she ran towards the center of the complex where it was likely they were fighting. When she got there she froze in terror. The entire room was missing. In it's place was a huge empty sphere with pipes and wires hanging down. It looked like something had taken a massive bite out of the complex. She saw Danzo's beaten, bloody corpse at the bottom of the pit, but there was no sign of anyone else.

"Nagato? Naruto?" she called nervously. Her voice echoed across the empty room. Nervously she began climbing into the pit. "Nagato? Naruto?" Her breathing began to grow labored as fear slowly crept into her soul. Reaching the bottom of the pit she began frantically looking around. There were no signs of life anywhere. "Nagato! Naruto!" Panicking she turned and glared at Danzo's corpse. "Why do you keep having to ruin my life?" she screamed as she kicked his body into the corner. Konan grabbed her head and screamed in pain. Once again, just as everything was going right with her life the world saw fit to take it all away from her. Everything in front of her began to grow hazy as tears filled her eyes. She sobbed as her vision grew black. Blinking a few times she realized the haze was actually space twisting and bending in front of her. Like a gaping maw space ripped open. Kaguya calmly stepped out, looking no worse for wear. With a loud yelp Itachi, Nagato, and Naruto fell out behind her and landed in a haphazard pile of limbs. Naruto weakly gave a thumbs up.

"Thanks for the save Kaguya." he groaned. Kaguya said nothing as she began to walk away. Konan quickly ran past her and grabbed her friends in a bone crushing hug.

"Nagato! Naruto! Thank god!" she said as she started crying tears of happiness. "I was so worried. I thought you were dead." Naruto happily hugged her back, while Nagato awkwardly joined in.

"Don't worry Konan," Naruto said. "I'm not going to die until I become Hokage, and help you and Nagato restore Ame." Konan smiled and started kissing Naruto, making Nagato very uncomfortable. Luckily for her Itachi chose that moment to speak up.

"As sweet as this moment is, do you think you could get off me?" he asked. Konan and Naruto quickly jumped away, while Nagato and Itachi stood up and dusted themselves off. "Thank you. It was getting uncomfortable down there." Konan and Naruto blushed brightly, while Itachi and Nagato left to assist Tsunade with rounding up the last of ROOT. Konan pulled Naruto into another hug when she noticed Kaguya staring at them. She still wasn't sure about the three eyed princess, but she had to admit, the apathetic stare she was giving was much better than the hateful glare she had constantly worn when she had first woken up.

"Thank you." Konan said. Kaguya's eyes widened in surprise for a few seconds before she turned and walked away. Naruto, thinking that Konan was talking to him, pulled back so he could look into her eyes.

"It was nothing." he said. "I'd do anything to keep you happy. I love you Konan." Her eyes began watering again as she pulled Naruto into a slow, deep kiss.

"I'd do the same thing for you." she said. "I love you too Naruto Uzumaki."

=X=

The sun began to slowly sink below the horizon as a trio of ninja sat on top of the Hokage Monument. It had been a long day of sorting through all the files pulled from Danzo's base. Even with his suicide seal destroying a large chunk of his base there was still more than enough evidence, and now loose lipped ex-ROOT, to wipe away any positive memories of Danzo, not that there were many of those to begin with. The only two people with anything positive to say about him were the other elders, and it took only a fraction of Danzo's crimes being exposed for them to quickly withdraw their support.

"Man, it's been a hell of a day." Naruto said. Konan and Nagato nodded in agreement. "I just really hope Tsunade doesn't kill me for keeping her out of the loop so long." Konan giggled while Nagato shook her head. When they had told Tsunade what Danzo had been doing under her nose she had flipped out. After calming her down and pointing out that they needed an actual plan to take Danzo down, she had immediately turned on Naruto demanding to know how he could keep something like that from her.

"She was rather upset with you." Nagato said with a small smile. "But all things considered, I doubt she'll kill a shinobi of you're caliber over something as minor as not charging into a situation without backup." Naruto laughed.

"I don't know about that." he said. "At this point that's pretty much what she expects from me." The two Ame kunoichi joined him in laughing. Konan leaned onto his shoulder.

"Well lucky us, you've started working on that." she said. "And thanks to you that monster is finally dead and Yahiko can finally rest in peace." Naruto smiled and kissed her head.

"It's no problem." he insisted. "Any decent person would want to put a stop to him. Now who wants to celebrate? Ramen's on me!" Konan shook her head as they stood up. Well at least she could meet this Ayame girl Naruto had mentioned a few times. Plus the ramen from there was Naruto's favorite food besides red bean soup so it must have been good. "Nagato, would you like to join us?" At that Nagato's good mood seemed to deflate.

"No thank you." she said blankly as she stood up. "I hope you two enjoy your date. Konan, I'll see you back at the hotel room." She quickly walked away, leaving Konan and Naruto looking at each other confused.

"Well I wasn't going to make it a date, but if you'd like," he held out his arm. "Konan, would you do me to honor of accompanying me on a date?" Konan snickered and took his arm. "What's wrong with Nagato though?" Konan frowned.

"I'm not sure." she said. "She has been rather preoccupied the past few days. I'd assumed she was thinking about her confrontation with Danzo, but now I'm not so sure." Naruto shrugged and they agreed to keep an eye on their friend. They were halfway to Ichiraku when a rather upset voice called out.

"Naruto!" The pair turned and saw another blonde teen stomping towards them. "What's this I hear about you charging into a base full of heavily armed traitors?" Naruto nervously scratched the back of his head.

"Now Ino," he said. "To be fair, I teleported into a base full of heavily armed traitors. And I was just running interference. And a lot of them were brainwashed so they aren't all totally traitors." Ino clearly wasn't amused. "And Tsunade was there." Ino pinched the bridge of her nose.

"Naruto you shouldn't be so reckless." she said. "You know your friends will always be there to help you right?" Naruto and Konan both smiled at Ino's statement.

"Thank you Ino," he said. "I promise that I won't go charging into danger in the future without making sure my friends know I'm doing it first." Ino couldn't stop herself from laughing.

"Fine. But be careful." she said. "Don't forget that you still owe me that second date you promised." Konan perked up at this.

"Oh really?" Konan asked "That didn't take you very long did it?" Naruto nervously laughed while Ino noticed her for the first time.

"Konan this is Ino Yamanaka." he said. "Ino this is Konan. She's one of my girlfriends." Konan held out her hand which Ino shook while blushing.

"Well, that's not quite the first impression I wanted to make." she said while looking Konan over. Her cloak left a lot to the imagination, but from what she could see from the open front Konan easily beat her in the looks department.

"It's fine." Konan said. "You were just worried about him. It's sweet. Plus you're rather cute." Ino blushed while Konan laughed. "Relax. While I'm not opposed to it, three people to a bed isn't exactly my thing. But we should definitely get to know each other better. How about tomorrow? I'm free all day." Ino nervously nodded and began to walk away.

"Later Ino!" Naruto yelled. "Now about that ramen." With that they resumed walking to Ichiraku. When they arrived they entered and saw Shizune talking to Ayame.

"Are you serious?" Ayame asked. Shizune nodded causing Ayame's mouth to drop. "Really? I mean I always knew he was a little strange but….. Are you sure?"

"That's what Karin told me." Shizune replied. "She seems to know what she's talking about. Plus it makes sense when you think about it." Ayame nodded in agreement before noticing her favorite customer was back.

"Naruto! You're back!" she cheered. "And who's this lovely lady?" Shizune turned and blushed slightly.

"Hello Naruto, Konan." she said. "Are you two on a date?" Ayame looked at Shizune confused before Naruto's answer shocked her.

"Yeah we are." he said as they sat at the counter. "Ayame, this is my girlfriend Konan." Ayame blushed as she shook Konan's hand. Shizune finished her ramen and started to leave.

"I suppose I'll see you tomorrow than." Naruto and Konan waved before turning back to Ayame and placing their order. Ayame brought them their ramen and Naruto started telling her about his adventures. Eventually the two left and were enjoying walking in the moonlight.

"So Konan," Naruto said. "Shall I escort you back to your hotel room?" Konan frowned and pulled Naruto close.

"Naruto, I was really worried about you today." she said. "You and Nagato were fighting that monster and I was so scared something would happen." She pulled Naruto into a hug and rested her head on his shoulder. "I just don't know what I would do if something happened to you." Naruto began stroking her hair.

"Don't worry Konan." he whispered. "I'll always be here for you. I promise." Konan smiled and kissed his cheek.

"I know you will." she said. "Instead of escorting me back to my hotel, perhaps you would do me the honor of escorting me back to your place." Naruto pulled back slightly surprised.

"Really?" he asked. "Not that I'm complaining, but I figured with everything that happened today you'd want to spend some time with Nagato, remembering Yahiko." Konan lowered her head.

"Naruto, I spent years wallowing in Yahiko's death." she said. "I know that's not what he would have wanted but I couldn't stop myself. Our relationship didn't advance because we were in the middle of a war. I want to take advantage of this. We both know what's coming. Please. It's been so long since you left Ame." Naruto placed a finger under her chin and turned her towards him.

"As you wish." he said as he kissed her.

=X=

"Sorry if it's a little messy." Naruto said as they entered his small one room home. "I haven't really been here a lot since I got back."

"It's fine." Konan replied as she looked around. "It's a lot like you. Simple, to the point, and comfortable." Naruto smiled and pulled her into a deep kiss, which she quickly returned. She pushed off his jacket while he took off her cloak. The pair slowly made their way over to the bed, kicking off their shoes as they went. Separating for air Naruto pulled his shirt off, followed by Konan undoing the ties of her halter top. She reached for the waist of Naruto's pants but was stopped by Naruto pulling her hands above her head.

"Relax Konan," he said. "We have all night." Konan's groan told her exactly what she thought of that, but didn't resist as her pushed her onto the bed and climbed on top of her. He pulled her into another kiss before slowly making his way down her neck, making her bite her lip in anticipation. Naruto began planting kisses along her breasts while his hands reached up to give them a squeeze. She moaned as he slowly kissed around her areola but didn't touch her nipple. To her frustration he slowly moved to her other breast which he gave the same treatment.

"Naruto, please." she begged. "Stop teasing me." Naruto grinned and wrapped his lips around her nipple. She moaned loudly as she dug her fingers into Naruto's hair. Naruto began making his way across her chest as his fingers lightly pinched and tugged the nipple he had already enjoyed. After bathing her other nipple in affection, he began teasing it as well while kissing down the valley of her breasts. Stopping only to run his tongue over her pierced bellybutton he quickly reached the waist of her pants. Undoing them he pulled them off, revealing her soaked panties.

"Well, somebody's eager." he teased before slowly kissing up her thigh. To Konan's annoyance, just as he reached her crotch he pulled away and slowly repeated the process with her other thigh. Finally he reached the top and started kissing her lower lips through her underwear. Konan groaned in pleasure as her lust began to run wild. Naruto stopped and pulled her panties off, leaving the blue haired angel nude before him. Before he could resume his task he suddenly found himself on his back, pinned beneath her. There was a fire in her gray eyes and a predatory grin on her face.

"My turn." she whispered before kissing him again. She kissed down to his chest and began teasing his nipple while undoing his pants. She began running her tongue over his abs while messaging the bulge in his underwear. Seeing he was ready she stripped him down before spinning around into her favorite position. Naruto licked his lips before running his tongue over her dripping pussy. She moaned loudly before leaning down to take Naruto into her mouth. Enjoying Naruto's taste after their months apart she began to message his balls hoping to get a taste of his seed sooner. Naruto quickly returned the favor bringing two fingers up to spread her lips while rubbing her clit with his thumb. She squealed in delight before taking him as deeply as she could. Naruto began fingering her as he sucked her clit while running his tongue over it. Konan screamed around his tool as his removed his fingers and rapidly licked up her leaking essence. Konan's taste combined with the vibrations of her voice set Naruto off, allowing Konan to once again taste the man she loved. She swallowed before turning and kissing her way back up his body. As they kissed Naruto flipped them over and put Konan on her side. Putting her leg over his shoulder he stopped his dick just as it was about to enter her.

"Are you ready?" he asked gently. She eagerly nodded and reached down to spread herself further. Naruto pushed in and the pair groaned at the feeling of once again being joined. Naruto began slowly pumping his hips as he reached down to squeeze her breast again.

"Faster Naruto." she gasped. "Please don't hold back. I want you to ravish me." Naruto grinned and began to pick up speed. "Yes, yes, yes! Just like that!" she cried. She reached up and undid her hair. Naruto always went wild when she had her hair down. As she hoped Naruto began moving even faster. The hand on her breast began twisting her nipple while his other hand began to tease her clit. Konan reached up and pulled her leg back while her other hand began to play with her unoccupied nipple.

"Konan, I'm close." Naruto grunted as sweat ran down his face. "Where do you want me to finish?" Konan licked her lips, tasting her own sweat.

"Inside me please." she begged. "I want to feel you cum inside me." Naruto pulled his hand from her breast and ran it up her arm. She let go of her leg, letting it rest on his shoulder as she took his hand in hers. Their fingers intertwined as Naruto switched from rapid shallow thrusts to slow deep thrusts. Reaching his end he gave her clit a pinch. Konan threw her head back and screamed her release as her inner muscles milked his dick, hoping for an injection of his essence. He happily complied and after a few more deep thrusts let go and filled her up, triggering a second orgasm in her. Lowering her leg he kissed her deeply before she rolled them over so she was on top.

"You're still horny?" he asked playfully. Konan simply smiled and rocked her hips back and forth until she felt him harden inside her. She turned and started riding Naruto while facing away from him, giving Naruto a wonderful view of her ass. After a few minutes of enjoying Naruto inside her Konan suddenly stopped and lifted herself off him. She looked over her shoulder and smiled at him.

"I want to try something new tonight." she said, sounding both excited and nervous. Konan leaned back and placed the head of Naruto's dick against her ass. She groaned in slight discomfort as he slid inside her causing him to put his hands on her ass to stop her.

"Are you sure?" he asked concerned. "I don't want to force you to do something you're uncomfortable with." Konan smiled at his concern and nodded. After a few seconds Naruto pulled his hands away, allowing Konan to completely bury him in her rear. She moaned at the strange, but not unpleasant sensation of having her ass filled. She began to roll her hips as the strange feeling gave way to pleasure. Naruto, seeing that Konan was getting into it, decided it was time to start moving. When Konan brought her hips down, he thrust up. Not expecting the sudden penetration she squeaked in pleasure and fell back onto Naruto's chest. They laughed and began kissing as they resumed their thrusting. Naruto, hoping to enhance the experience for Konan, reached down and pulled her legs up to her chest. Planting his feet on the bed he began pushing into her as fast as he felt he could without hurting her.

"Oh God," she moaned. "I can feel you so deep inside me. Harder! Fuck my ass harder!" Naruto was shocked since Konan rarely swore even during sex. But not wanting to disappoint her he increased the pace of their lovemaking. She looked over her shoulder and pulled Naruto into a deep kiss he quickly returned. He felt her begin to tighten around him.

"God you're gripping me so tight." he groaned. "You must really like having your butt played with." Konan responded by pulled him into another kiss. She sucked on his tongue before separating, leaving a trail of saliva between them.

"Shut up and keep fucking my ass." she panted. Naruto began thrusting as deeply as he could. Konan felt him swelling inside her, pushing her closer to the edge. "Don't stop! Keep going! I'm almost….. almost….. OH FUCK I'M CUMMING!" She arched her back and screamed as her internal spasms set off Naruto, who filled her ass with his cum. Breathing heavily, Naruto let go of Konan's legs and pulled he into a hug. He could feel her trembling in the afterglow of her orgasm.

"So, what brought that on?" he asked curiously. Konan moaned in loss as she removed Naruto from inside her butt. She rolled over and kissed him again.

"I thought that you died today." she said as she stared into his eyes. "I've been thinking about this for a while, but I was always too nervous to ask. Today showed me if you want to do something you should go ahead a do it. Because tomorrow you might not get the opportunity." Naruto reached up and wiped away the tears that were forming in her eyes.

"I'm sorry I worried you." he said as he kissed her again. Seeing her smile he decided to lighten the mood further. "So anything else new you want to try?" Konan laughed and shook her head.

"Even if there was I'm far to tired right now." she said. "Besides you'll need all your energy tomorrow when your guests from Kiri arrive." Naruto smiled and pulled the blankets over them and hugged her close. They began slowly, gently kissing until they fell asleep in each others arms.

=X=

Across town another Ame kunoichi was having a far less pleasant night. Nagato stared at the moon through the window while strumming her fingers on the mattress. As she expected Konan never came back. It was very easy for her to imagine what the two of them were up to. Unfortunately this was causing her body to react in a way she wanted to avoid. She rubbed her legs together before stopping, as her clothing was another reminder of all she'd lost. Currently she was wearing nothing but a small shirt and a pair of panties. When she had first switched bodies she had avoided panties, not wanting to feel any more feminine than she already did. However her curiosity had slowly gotten the best of her and she soon found herself wearing panties on a regular basis. But in the last few days thinking about, and being around, Naruto had reminded her that she was supposed to be a boy. A boy currently sleeping in women's panties.

"Damn it Naruto." she muttered to herself. She ran a hand over her face before stopping to play with on of her piercings. The piercings she got because of Naruto. Shortly after her "accident" Naruto had asked why all the paths had piercings while she didn't. She had explained that those "piercings" were actually chakra control rods stabbed deep into the bodies she was using. Naruto had offhandedly mentioned it was too bad since he thought her new body would look cute with piercings. She hadn't thought much off it, but a few days later while her and Konan were getting reacquainted with the people of Ame they had stopped by the shop where Konan had her piercings done. After a small debate with herself she had gotten several black studs that resembled the chakra control rods her paths had. At first she wasn't sure why she had when Konan had made a joke.

"Maybe you did it to look good for Naruto." A first she had laughed it off but as time went on she found herself entertaining the idea more and more. She shook he head and fell back.

"No." she told herself. "I do not like Naruto. I like women." She had a crush on Konan for as long as she could remember. When it was clear Konan was in love with Yahiko she had stepped aside and let them be together. Then Yahiko had died and both of them had sunk into darkness until Naruto had convinced them that they were wrong. At first Nagato had thought this was an opportunity to finally date Konan. But not only had Konan started dating Naruto, she was sharing Naruto with several other women. Then to add insult to injury Naruto turned her into a woman. Now Konan would never be interested in her. Or would she? She once again imagined Konan and Naruto making love in front of her. This time however Konan pushed Naruto off and jumped at her. Konan pinned her down and gave her a very seductive smile.

"Relax Nagato." Konan said. "Let me show you just how good it feels to be a woman." Konan began kissing down her neck before taking her nipple into her mouth. Nagato moaned out load before she realized she was touching herself. She pulled her hand away and blushed in embarrassment. She rolled onto her stomach and tried to go to sleep. But as soon as she closed her eyes her imagination took over. This time she was pinning Konan down.

"Let me return the favor." she whispered as she kissed down her body before coming face to face with Konan's pussy. She began eating out her childhood friend before she felt something long and hard rub against her pussy. It slowly pushed into her. Realizing what she was about to do she pulled her hand away again. She shook her head. She did not like Naruto. She tried to shift to get comfortable and the pillow underneath her brushed against her groin. She shivered and her mind took over again. She stared down at Naruto's caring blue eyes.

"Not interested in having Konan join us?" he teased. Nagato said nothing. She simply began to rub herself against the pillow underneath her. The feelings she had been bottling up for months were boiling to the surface. Combined with the fact she had never explored her new body she very quickly reached he climax. But how she reached it mortified her.

"Naruto!" she screamed as she imagined him cumming inside her. She spent a few seconds catching her breath before she realized what she'd just done. "Damn it." she whispered as she tossed the soiled pillow aside. She walked into the bathroom and turned the shower on as cold as it would go. She pulled off her shirt and underwear before looking at herself in a mirror. She didn't recognize the person staring back at her. She wasn't a teenage girl, she was an adult man. "I do not like Naruto." she told herself before she climbed into the shower. She stood in the freeze water, hoping it would snap her out of whatever was wrong with her. But as she shivered in the cold all she think was how warm it must be between Naruto and Konan right now. "Damn it."

=X=

Sorry this is so late. I was about to make my deadline. Then my friends came over and started insisting I watch videos I don't care about and I tried to ignored him but he's very distracting. Plus I wasn't really feeling that last scene. But I wanted to include it but it wouldn't have worked anywhere else in the story. That aside I liked this fight better but that's mainly because I wasn't four separate fights. Also not super satisfied with the lemon, but I think for a first attempt it was good. Now the updates in the future might be a bit slower. I'm trying to make the chapters longer, Splatoon comes out this week so that will distract me, and next week I start working so less time to write. But I do my best. Until next time.


	8. Girls girls girls

Chapter 8! Let's do this! So it seems that people enjoyed the last chapter, which is good since it means I'm improving. And as a hopeful professional writer that's important to me. Because nobody reads book anymore so I might as well look good while being ignored. But enough about me. Let's talk about you.

Hanmac: Thank you. And FUCK NO I did not read the Naruto Gaiden. Why the fuck would I waste my time on something that stupid? With how awful the ending was best case scenario the gaiden was going to be Kishimoto begging for forgiveness and undoing the ending. But that didn't happen. Instead he just undid even more of the story I used to love and slapped together whatever random stories he thought people would read. A minijubi? Fucking seriously? And why are people surprised about Sasuke. He repeatedly attempted to kill the people he claims he loves, abandoned his home, teamed up with every villain in the series, started a world war for fun, wasn't punished for any of it, and only gave two halfassed apologies and people are SURPRISED he's an asshole? What the fuck? Are people seriously this fucking stupid? Fuck. Sorry about that. But when I saw the words minijubi I fucking lost it. Thanks for reading.

gsparda: I think people like Hinata for the same reason people like Sasuke. People enjoy the idea of being praised for how amazing they are while not doing a thing to earn it.

Ryuujin96: That's kind of my point. When somebody who says they hate you and don't want anything to do with you outside of work does more for you in a few months than the person who says they love you will do in a few years obviously there's nothing to that relationship. And with how far above and beyond Sakura went for Naruto it really hard to say they were just teammates. And I'd agree about romance not being important if not for the fact that at this point NaruHina is the only thing Kishimoto and Studio Pierrot talk about. They had a press conference where they dragged Team 7's voice actors on stage and made them tell everyone NaruHina was planned from the very beginning. They're doing this, while continuing to ignore the fact that Hinata exists. And yes he's getting tons of backlash from everyone. The NaruSaku fans are pissed they got screwed out of their ending and the NaruHina fans are pissed they got screwed out of their story. But he's still making money so clearly the world's still full of idiots willing to throw money at everything he does.

Feurrige: I'm not sure what you mean by that. Naruto's going to end up with his harem. I hate harem stories where there's a "winner." It one thing when a guy loves a girl and there's a bunch of other girls trying to get him and he likes them too much to tell them he's taken. But when a guy's with a bunch of girls equally and he's bonding with all of them and taking them all on dates, and telling them all how much he loves them then out of nowhere dumps all but one of them and tells them he never really loved any of them it's bad writing. Now given how Naruto acts in The Last and the Gaiden it wouldn't be out of character for him to lead women on for the fun of it. But I refuse to acknowledge either of those. So no scumbag Naruto in this story. Sorry.

KHARAKI TAKAN: Wow. Long review. Well let's hit the highlights. Yes I'm aware that Nagato and Konan are a bit out of character. When we saw them in flashbacks they were super optimistic and happy like Naruto. Then Yahiko's death made them all doom and gloom. Now because of Naruto they aren't as positive as they used to be but they aren't destroy the world sad anymore. The biggest difference between then and now is Konan is in a relationship with Naruto, while Nagato is stuck trying to get used to a new body and strange feelings. As for their relationships I was going for Toriyama not Kishimoto. When Toriyama started Dragon Ball he said he couldn't write romance but that was ok because romance wasn't a big part of the story. So whenever there was a time skip two characters would go from friends to lovers with very little buildup. But their actions still showed that they do love and care for each other. Kishimoto said the same thing but he slapped the pairing together in the end with nothing to help prove it while insisting it was the only part of the story that mattered. Yes I skipped over their relationship forming. But I'm going to do everything I can to prove they love each other. And while I get what you're saying I think you're being a little quick to judge. In fanfiction character act differently from canon. You should ask if there's a reason for them acting out of character. When you see Konan acting differently because she's in a relationship with Naruto maybe wait and see if their relationship is actually affecting her before you point out how dating Konan is different from single Konan. In other parts of your review. From now on I'll mark the beginning of sections with lemons with a =XXX= instead of the usual =X=. Should make it easy to skip them. And it's not so much the Naruto turned Nagato into a woman. It's just the way things happened makes it very easy for her to blame Naruto. Naruto really isn't responsible. This chapter should explain it fully. And the videos were nothing interesting. He shows up out of nowhere and insists I watch some rap about how much Ken from Street Fighter sucks. Then without even asking if I found it interesting he proceeds to try and show me everything by that artist. Then he showed me a bunch of videos of some guy ranting his opinion about popular video games. Then he followed it with some guy ranting about insane video game theories. Nothing interesting but the more I try to get him to leave the more he sticks around. Luckily I distracted him by putting on the 11 drunk guys play videos, but still annoying.

Rickjames196: Wow lots of reviews. Most of your questions should be answered in the next few chapters. No Ino isn't clan heiress. There's nothing in the manga, datebooks, anime, movies, or video games to suggest she's anything other than a regular member of the Yamanaka clan. Fukasaku called Konan Nagato's girlfriend. And could you just summarize your thought on the chapter instead of giving a play by play? It's entertaining but really not necessary.

thor94: Thank you very much. I was really nervous about that. Glad you liked it.

luffyxrobin-luffyxnami: Depends what you mean by yuri. I have one yuri pairing planned but there won't be any onscreen lemons. And nothing is set in stone but I had some ideas for some threesomes between Naruto and two girls. I don't know if that counts as yuri. I won't be going overboard and the girls aren't interested in sex with each other when Naruto's not around. The threesomes will be more about experimenting than full blown bisexuality.

MickDunD: That question, and most of the questions you've asked, should be answered this chapter. If things end up running long it'll be the next chapter, but it shouldn't reach that point.

Xelos007: You are now my friend and we will drink vodka together! And I'll check those out later. Right now my schedule sucks. I can read, or I can write. But I don't have time for both.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. The disclaimer from chapter 1 applies here. If I did the self centered assholes wouldn't be praised for being self centered assholes and the self sacrificing heroes wouldn't need to become self centered assholes just to get the praise they deserve.

=X=

Naruto yawned as the morning sun shining through his window woke him up. Feeling something warm curling up against him he blinking in confusion a few times before last night came rushing back to him. Looking down he smiled at the blissful look of content on Konan's face. He carefully brushed her hair out of her face before he leaned down and kissed her forehead. Her eyes slowly opened before she smiled at him.

"Good morning." he said as he continued to stroke her hair. "How did you sleep last night?" she smiled and leaned up to kiss him.

"I slept wonderfully." she said. She kissed him a few more times before she noticed the clock and pouted. "Looks like we better get going if we don't want to be late." Naruto looked at the clock before he nodded and climbed out of bed.

"Looks like you're right." he said as he stretched. "You can get a few more minutes of sleep if you want." Konan threw off the covers before she also stretched catching Naruto's eye in the process.

"No thank you." she said. "You know I've never been one for sitting around when there's work to be done." Naruto smiled and moved to the bathroom door.

"In that case let me take a shower." he said. "Then I'll make us some breakfast and we can get going." Naruto disappeared into the bathroom and the sound of the shower turned on. Konan went over to her discarded cloak and pulled out a piece of paper. Grabbing a pen off the table she wrote down what Naruto had told her over ramen yesterday. With a flick of her wrist the paper folded itself into a butterfly and flew out the window. Listening to the shower run, Konan grew a grin the would make her teacher proud. Finding something new she wanted to try she headed to the bathroom to join him. Might as well make his morning fun, since she doubted the rest of his day would be as enjoyable.

=X=

Naruto and Konan walked down the street with pervy grins on both their faces. While Naruto had been rather surprised when Konan had snuck up on him in the shower he wasn't about to start complaining.

"So was that another on of the new things you wanted to try?" he asked. Konan shrugged as they entered the market.

"Not really." she said. "I just thought it would be a fun way to start the morning." The pair shared a Jiraiya style giggle.

"No arguments here." Naruto said. As they passed a group of people Naruto overheard their whispers. His smile grew bigger, though it was now much less perverted. "Sounds like word of Itachi is starting to spread." Konan listened to what was being said and shared Naruto's smile.

"I hope everything works out for him." she said. "Considering how long he has been thought of as a traitor I imagine that some people within Konoha will have a hard time accepting the truth." Naruto nodded, knowing what that was like. It had taken 13 years, plus taking down a biju, just for him to get a little respect.

"I'm sure everything will work out." he said. After all Itachi was an Uchiha. They couldn't do anything wrong. There were probably people who upon hearing that the Uchiha were planning to start a civil war respected them even more. Idiots.

"Hopefully you're right." she replied. "He deserves to have something go right for him for once." As they arrived at the gate Konan was surprised to see someone she'd never met was talking to the greeting party. "Seems we have a guest this morning." Naruto followed her gaze and saw that beside the obvious Jiraiya and Tsunade, plus Haku and Karin, who were expected due to who was showing up, Kakashi was also there.

"Hey Kakashi." Naruto yelled. "What's up?" Kakashi looked up from his book and smiled at Naruto. He looked at Konan and, after giving her a look over, turned back to Naruto.

"You tell me." he said in a teasing tone. "After that mission to Suna you disappeared. Next thing I know you're teaming up with the leaders of other villages and traitors who aren't really traitors to take down the actual traitors. An invitation to the party would have been nice." Naruto laughed and scratched his head.

"Sorry about that." he said. "I'm sort of making this up as I go along. Anyways I wanted you to meet Konan. She's my girlfriend." Kakashi looked surprised for a moment before his smile returned.

"Good for you Naruto. I'm glad you finally found someone to share your life with." Kakashi held out his hand to Konan. "Hello I'm Kakashi."

"Hello I'm Konan." she said as she shook his hand. "Naruto's told me all about you. And don't worry. I'll take good care of him. I'm great at sharing." She pulled Naruto into a hug and the two shared another pervy giggle. Haku and Karin rolled their eyes, while Jiraiya Kakashi and Tsunade tilted their heads in confusion. Before they could ask any questions Haku spoke up.

"Hey look," Haku said nervously. "The group from Kiri is here." He and Karin both paled in fear. Noticing everyone staring at them he pulling Karin into a hug. "They're scary." he said. Karin quickly nodded in agreement. Jiraiya pulled out his spyglass and focused on the three approaching figures.

"Let's just see how scary these guys are." he said. Focusing on the first figure he was disappointed to see they were wearing a cloak that obscured all their features. The only thing he could tell was that based on their height they were an adult. Looking to the next person he saw they were wearing the exact same cloak. However, unlike the first person, this person was much shorter, most likely around Naruto's age. They were also carrying a very familiar bandaged blade. 'Wait,' Jiraiya thought. 'Is Kisame working with them? But the Seven Swordsmen never parted with their blades easily. Is Kisame dead? I'll have to ask Naruto about this.' He turned his attention to the Mizukage and his jaw hit the floor.

"What is it Jiraiya?" Tsunade asked. "What do you see?" Jiraiya made a series of unintelligible gargles. Tsunade sighed and grabbed the spyglass from his hand. "What the hell is so interesting?" she asked. She looked through the spyglass and her jaw dropped as well. She had always thought of herself as straight, but even she had to admire the beauty approaching. She was practically sex on legs. Two long slender legs that were barely concealed by her revealing blue dress. She had a bust that could easily rival Tsunade's and long flowing brown hair. Looking up she revealed a delicate face that somehow still oozed power. This was a women who wasn't to be messed with.

"Hello." she said in a voice that sounded as sexy as she looked. "I'm Mei Terumi, the fifth Mizukage. I understand you've been expecting me?" Tsunade quickly recomposed herself.

"It's a pleasure to meet you." she said. "I'm Tsunade the fifth Hokage. This is my teammate Jiraiya, the famous Copy Cat Kakashi Hatake, and I believe you already know Haku and Karin. And since he's the one who put this all together you obviously know-"

"NARUTO!" she cheered as she grabbed him and pulled him into a hug, burying his face in her chest. "It's so good to see you again." She then noticed Konan smiling at them. "Messy hair, no fresh makeup. You certainly enjoyed yourself last night didn't you?" Konan smiled and nodded.

"I certainly did, though I don't think this is the best place to go into details." she said. As they talked the three adults standing off to the side looked more and more confused. Kakashi was about to speak up when his attention was drawn by the shorter figure growling in anger.

"Stupid Mizukage." They mumbled in a female voice that Kakashi thought sounded vaguely familiar. "Ordering us to wait around while she flirts with Naruto. Yeah, that's a real good use of your authority."

"Well," Kakashi said, hoping to both ease the tension and get some answers. "Seems like Naruto's become quite the ladies man if he has so many girls after him."

"Shut up Bakakashi." the girl said. Kakashi froze as his eye shot open, Only two people called him that and both of them were dead.

"What did you just call me?" he asked in a shaky voice. The girl leaned towards him as best she could with her short stature.

"I said 'Shut up Bakakashi.'" she replied. "Right now my boyfriend's other girlfriends are hogging him and I haven't seen him in forever and it's been a long trip and I'm in a really bad mood. So please shut up." Before she could continue the other figure put a hand on her shoulder.

"Really?" They asked in another female voice that sounded familiar. "After all this time, that's the first thing you say when you meet up with him?" The younger girl sighed.

"I'm sorry." she said. "I've just been so stressed out lately." She stepped forward and pulled her hood off, causing Kakashi's heart to freeze. Staring back at him was the face of his supposedly dead teammate, Rin Nohara. "Hello Kakashi" she said pleasantly. "It's nice to finally see you again." she then flashed him a toothy grin, showing that all her teeth had been sharpened into fine points. Sitting on her forehead was a protecter with the symbol for Kiri on it.

"What the hell?" he shouted as he jumped back in fear. His mind filled with images of the nightmares he had suffered after Rin had died. Ones where she proudly claimed she had been working for Kiri all along and was off to destroy Konoha.

"Are you ok?" she asked nervously. "You look like you're about the have a heart attack." she reached out to help him, but he took several steps back and pulled out a kunai.

"How are you even here?" he asked. "Did someone use the Edo Tensei on you?" He didn't want to fight his former teammate, especially if she was an unkillable zombie.

"Sort of." she said "That's how we got here, but as of right now I am a fully living breathing human being."

"But how?" Kakashi asked again. Rin smiled and pointed over to Naruto. Her smile faded when she saw Mei still had Naruto's face in her chest.

"Enough Mei! Let someone else have a turn." she said as she pulled Naruto away and hugged him. Jiraiya giggled as he wrote in his almost full notebook, while Tsunade pinched her nose in annoyance.

"This is great." Jiraiya said "Normally when girls fight over a guy it's a lot more violent and a lot less sexy." Before he could continue his notebook was snatched away.

"And just what makes you think they're fighting?" Jiraiya stared into the purple eyes framed with red hair he thought he'd never see again.

"Kushina?" he asked with his jaw on the floor. "You're telling me Naruto actually did perfect the Edo Tensei?" Sure he'd read Naruto's notes but he thought Naruto was working on theory, not actually out resurrecting people.

"I wouldn't say perfect." she replied. "There's still a few kinks to be worked out, but you have to admit it's a vast improvement."

"But still this is amazing!" he said. "You have to show me how this is possible!" He pulled out his actual research notebook, covered in dust from lack of use.

"I can show you the seals later, but the details will have to wait until tomorrow's meeting." she said with a little wave. "But until then the three of us have plans. Speaking of plans….." she trailed off and narrowed her eyes at the other redhead trying to sneak away. She shot a chain at Karin, tying her up and dragging her back. "And just where do you think you're going?"

"It's so good to see you again Lady Kushina." Karin said, failing to keep the fear out of her voice. "You must be tired after your long trip. So there's no need for training right? You just want to relax." Kushina grinned in a way that reminded Karin far to much of a certain snake.

"Oh no you don't." she said. "If what I heard is true you were barely able to hold off an S-rank nin. I trained you better than that."

"I was in the middle of a city. I couldn't just smash everything in my path." she tried to defend. "Besides those monsters of his were way to fast for me."

"You know what I'm hearing?" Kushina asked. "You need more training! No time like the present. Let's get training!" She began to drag Karin off to the training grounds.

"No! No! Please no!" she begged. "No more training! Haku save me!" Everyone turned and looked to see Haku being dragged in the opposite direction in Samehada's jaws.

"Sorry Haku," Rin said. "But you know the rules. If you want to be seen carrying one of the Seven Swords you need to show the world you can handle it. You didn't even use it in your last fight. Not exactly the image Kiri wants to project." With that the two kunoichi vanished taking their "students" with them.

"Well it looks like it's just the two of us." Mei said "So I guess we can have a little fun." she leaned close and began to run her fingers up Naruto's chest. "But first…" she grabbed Naruto's throat. "What's this I hear about you failing to injure Sasori with the Lava Release techniques I trained you with?"

"I wanted to capture him to prove a theory I had." he said. "I underpowered the technique. Clearly I underestimated just how strong his puppet's armor."

"And it never occurred to you to try all those Boil Release techniques I showed you?" Naruto gulped nervously. Truthfully in the heat of battle he had forgotten about the Boil Release he now possessed. And considering the pride Mei had in her abilities, and all the time she had put into training him, she would kill him if she found out.

"Actually there's a funny story behind that." Seeing the look on Mei's face he hung his head in defeat. "Yes, I forgot." Mei smiled and ran a hand through his hair.

"See how good it feels to be honest?" she said. "I think your honesty deserves a reward. Guess what your reward is."

"Training?" Naruto asked while scratching his head. The smile on Mei's face told him he was spot on. "Will you at least be gentle?"

"Oh Naruto," she laughed. "You should know by now I'm not gentle." As he was being dragged away Naruto asked the question that had been bugging him.

"How do you know all this?" Mei laughed and held up a piece of paper with several notes written on it.

"Konan was kind enough to share all your stories from Suna." Naruto's eyes widened as he looked at Konan who was waving at him.

"Konan you traitor!" he yelled dramatically "How could you do this to me?" Mei vanished with Naruto leaving a laughing Konan, a confused Jiraiya and Kakashi, and an annoyed Tsunade.

"Well if you'll excuse me," Konan said. "I'm going to spend the day with Ino, to make sure we can get along well enough for Naruto to date her." Konan left followed by Tsunade.

"Since I'm not getting any answers until tomorrow I might as well get started with Hinata's training." she said. Jiraiya and Kakashi turned and stared at each other.

"Do you have any what just happened?" Jiraiya asked. Kakashi shook his head no. "I have no idea either" he admitted. After a brief pause Kakashi spoke up.

"Want to go see if there's any good looking women at the hot springs?" Jiraiya nodded and to two took off in hopes of distracting themselves from what had just happened.

=X=

Karin screamed and ran as the ground behind her exploded. Kushina's chains whipped and thrashed behind her.

"Come on!" Kushina yelled. "How do you expect to fight like an Uzumaki if you just keep running away?" Karin ducked as a chain nearly took off her head. Kushina's chains were easily just as fast as Kakuzu's heart monsters.

"It called a strategic retreat!" she yelled back. She whipped a chain to intercept Kushina's but several others raced forward and ensnared her.

"A strategic retreat will only get you so far." she said. "Keep in mind the sooner you defeat me the sooner you can save your boyfriend from the jaws of the shark." Karin's eyes shot open before she screamed and shot her chains at lighting speed towards Kushina. She blocked them and grinned wickedly. "There's that Uzumaki fire." she cheered as their chains clashed together. "Hurry up. Sharks aren't known for being merciful."

=X=

Haku jumped out of his ice mirror as Samehada's teeth shattered it to bits. He quickly held up Kubikiribocho and blocked Samehada as it lashed out at him. Rin flashed Haku a fanged grin.

"Is this what the Seven Swordsmen have been reduced to?" she asked. "A medic from a different village is more skilled with your blades than you are?" Haku wiped his forehead.

"I'm trying." he insisted. "It's not like you became an expert overnight!" He attempted to form another ice mirror but Samehada quickly ate it.

"You're right. I didn't." she responded. "But once Samehada chose me to wield it I dedicated myself to learning everything I could about swords, even though it's not my main field of interest." She rested Samehada on her shoulder as it finished eating Haku's mirror. "There's no doubt you've improved since I last saw you. But you're still overly dependent on your bloodline. Instead of using your bloodline to enhance your swordsmanship, you use your sword as a last resort when your bloodline fails."

"I am not dependent on my bloodline." Haku insisted. He noticed that Rin was copying his stance and making the same hand seals he made for his mirrors. Looking down he saw that he was making the seals without even realizing it. Lowering his hands he tightened his grip on Kubikiribocho.

"I see you're finally getting serious." she said. "Now let's get started." They charged and their blades smashed together.

=X=

"Come on Mei." Naruto begged. "Can't we talk about this?" He ducked under another glob of lava as Mei slowly approached him. The entire training ground was covered with lava and steam.

"You asked me to train you in Lava and Boil release." she said while smiling sweetly. "If you aren't using them correctly, that just proves your training is incomplete." She took a deep breath and blew a cloud of steam at Naruto. The steam slowly cleared revealing Naruto was gone. Mei looked around, but saw nothing but flaming debris everywhere. Sensing an attack from behind she leaned to the left allowing a lava bullet to fly over her right shoulder, singeing her dress.

"Oops." Naruto said. "That dress wasn't expensive was it?" Mei smiled and ripped the shoulder off her dress revealing her smooth unblemished skin.

"Don't worry." she said in a tone that scared Naruto. "It's nothing you can't afford to replace." Naruto swore he heard his wallet scream in pain. Grinning he blew a cloud of steam at her, which quickly began to eat away at her dress.

"You know, if you wanted to get naked in front of me you could have just done it." he said "There's no need to drag me all the way to the training grounds." he spat lava at her, which she easily blocked with lava of her own.

"Don't get too cocky." she said. "You may be the world's strongest genin but it's still far too soon for you to beat a kage." The two resumed spitting lava at each other as their fiery dance tore up the training ground.

=X=

"Are you OK?" Ino asked. "You seem like you're a million miles away." Konan smiled and set down the cup of tea she was drinking.

"I apologize." she said. "I know today was supposed to be about the two of us, but I'm really worried about my friend Nagato. The past few days she's been rather moody. Today when I went back to the hotel she was still sleeping." She left out the part where she found Nagato naked and soaking wet in a room that smelled a lot like Naruto's had that morning.

"You said Nagato is the leader of Ame right?" Ino asked. Konan nodded so Ino presented her theory. "Maybe she's just relaxing before the big meeting tomorrow." Konan laughed at her idea.

"While she could probably use it, Nagato isn't a 'relax' type of person." she said. "Ever since Naruto came around she's constantly trying to improve Ame. When she can't do that she trains."

"So how exactly did you and Naruto hook up?" Ino asked. "He may be unpredictable but having four girlfriends is a little odd, even for him." Konan smiled and sipped her tea.

"Well when Naruto first showed up in Ame me and Nagato were in a rather bad place. We were actually planning on taking over the world. Or destroying it. Truthfully I didn't really care one way or the other." Ino's eyes widened at how casually Konan talked about planning on taking over the world. "When Naruto showed up we tried to kill him, but he didn't put up much of a fight. Instead he let himself get captured then asked us why we were doing what we were. We told him about all the terrible things that had happened to us. He told us all the terrible things that had happened to him. But he never let any of it get to him. He showed us how if we continued down the path we were on we would have destroyed ourselves." Konan wiped a tear from her eye while Ino stared enthralled. "We agreed to try things his way because we could easily go back to our original plans. But with Naruto guiding us Ame improved by leaps and bounds. Life just got better and better and soon before I knew it I had fallen in love with him."

"Wow," Ino said amazed that Naruto had already accomplished so much. "That's so sweet." she gushed. "But where do the other girls come in?"

"Well it turns out he was already dating a girl from Kiri." Konan replied. "Rin Nohara. She's here for the meeting, so I'll have to introduce you in the next few days. Well Naruto said he'd date both of us if he could, but he couldn't so he wasn't going to cheat on Rin. I figured Naruto got where he was by being crazy so I'd try the same. So I wrote Rin and requested permission to also date Naruto. Obviously she said no and I wanted Naruto to be happy so I backed off. But we kept writing each other and somehow I managed to win her over and she agreed to let me date him. He was skeptical at first but eventually he went with it. Of course as soon as Mei found out she was all over us begging for a chance, and somehow at some point Kushina decided to join in. Still not entirely sure how that on happened." she mumbled to herself. Ino now had a thoughtful expression on her face.

"Maybe your friend Nagato has been moody because she also wants to date Naruto?" Ino suggested. Konan rubbed her chin in thought.

"That does seem like the most obvious answer." she said. "But as far as I'm aware Nagato likes women. At least I think she does. She seemed to be interested in me back when she was a man." she drank her tea, then noticed the look of confusion on Ino's face.

"I think you're going to need to start from the beginning for this one."

=X=

Hinata approached the training grounds, wondering why she'd been called here. She had been trying to think of a way to show Naruto that she did care and did deserve to be with him when an ANBU had approached her and told her to report here immediately. Entering the field she saw Tsunade doing warm-up stretches.

"Hello Hinata." Tsunade said. "According to Naruto you have some problems with confidence and have latched onto him to make up for it. He's asked me to train you so you can stand on your own." Hinata blinked in confusion. After everything Naruto had said why would he ask Tsunade to train her? Was he playing hard to get? Was he leading her on? Maybe he felt bad and was trying to apologize? Or maybe he pitied her and would pretend to like her for her sake? No. Naruto wasn't some scumbag who would pretend to like somebody if he didn't really care.

"I thank you for this wonderful opportunity Lady Tsunade." Hinata said with a bow. "I'm certain that with your help I be able to prove myself to Naruto." She looked up and saw Tsunade's fist flying towards he face. She was barely able to dodge as Tsunade left a huge crater where she had use been standing.

"Let's get one thing straight," Tsunade said as she pulled her fist from the ground. "I'm not here to help your love life. I'm here to turn you into a strong and confident kunoichi. If you fail here I won't hesitate to kick you out of the shinobi program. Do I make myself clear?" Hinata's eyes widened in shock before she quickly settled into a fighting stance. "Perfect," Tsunade said. "Let's see use what Kurenai's taught you."

=X=

"Good job Karin." Kushina said. "We finally started increasing your attack speed." Karin weakly gasped while leaning heavily on her knees. "Now we just need to work on your stamina." Karin slowly trudged forward and glared up at her.

"Fuck….. you….." she groaned as she weakly swung her fist. It harmlessly grazed Kushina's stomach as she collapsed and fell asleep. Kushina giggled and picked her up.

"How cute." she said. "She thinks she's ready to take me. Don't worry. We'll get you there. You have a legacy to help uphold after all." With that Kushina carried Karin back to the hotel while planning the next torturous phase of her training.

=X=

"Good job Haku." Rin said. "You're finally starting to get ahold of your swordsmanship." Haku wiped the sweat from his forehead.

"Thanks for going easy on me." he said as they shouldered their swords. "I don't think Karin will be making it back to our new place tonight."

"Aww… you finally found somewhere?" Haku nodded and Rin gave him a high five. "Good for you. I'm sure it wasn't easy traveling with Naruto. No time to yourselves, plus Karin's libido? That must have driven you crazy." Haku nervously laughed.

"Well it doesn't help her libido rubbed off on me." Haku said. Rin laughed and Haku blushed knowing there was no clean way to say that.

"I would say take it easy on her tonight," she replied. "But I think you were right when you said she won't make it home tonight. Aren't you glad you have a teacher who doesn't torture you?" Haku smiled and was about to agree when Rin grabbed his face. "Haku what the hell's wrong with your teeth?" Haku squirmed and tried to get away but Rin's grip held tight. "If you want to be in the Seen Swordsmen you need to look the part." She opened the pouch on her waist, revealing several medical tools. Haku made several grunts that caused Rin to release him. "What was that?" she asked.

"Don't you think I should have this done by a professional dentist?" he nervously asked. Rin shrugged and held up what looked disturbingly like a hammer and chisel.

"Relax." she said as she grabbed Haku and pinned him down. "I'm a medic. If something goes wrong I can fix it." Haku tried to protest but stopped when the chisel reached his teeth. "The more you squirm the longer it'll take." she warned. "We all had to do it. Besides, knowing Karin she'll love this." Haku relaxed and opened his mouth wide. Rin rolled her eyes and got to work. "Why is everyone I know a pervert?"

=XXX=

Naruto slowly opened his eyes as he tried to figure out where he was. The last thing he remembered was being enveloped in a cloud of steam when a lava bullet had flown right at his face. Because of the chakra strain from constantly mixing elements he was barely able to protect himself. Now he was watching the sunrise through the window of what looked like a fancy hotel room while something very warm and soft was pressed into his back.

"Good morning handsome." a voice whispered in his ear. It was then that Naruto realized that he was in nothing but his underwear. Rolling over he saw Mei, dressed in the same manner as he was.

"Good morning my shining beauty." he said. Mei smiled and pulled him into the kiss he thought he was receiving yesterday. The kiss grew more heated as Mei rolled on top of him.

"I'm sorry I let you down." Naruto said suddenly. Mei tilted her head in confusion as Naruto continued. "I begged you to train me in Lava and Boil release and then I went and ignored everything you taught me and just charged in like I used to when I was younger. You must be disappointed in me." Mei smiled and kissed him again.

"I'm not disappointed." she said. "You're an amazing ninja, but you're still young. You can't expect to do everything perfectly the first time. The fact that you've managed to learn three advanced nature releases despite not having any bloodline is a testament to just how much potential you have." Naruto smiled and pulled Mei into a hug.

"Thanks for the encouragement Mei." he said. "I honestly thought that you were mad at me." They resumed making out before Naruto noticed what time it was. "I'm not sure we're going to have enough time to fool around this morning." he said. Mei looked at the clock and smiled.

"Nonsense," she said happily. "We have plenty of time." She began rubbing his hardness through his boxers. "Besides it doesn't feel like you want me to stop." she whispered. She rose above him and turned to face away from him. She sat down, pressing her panty covered mound against his groin. Naruto groaned pulling a smile from Mei. "See, I told you you'd be interested."

"Who wouldn't be interested with someone as beautiful as you?" he asked as he ran his hands up here legs before grabbing her ass.

"Seems like someone's missed spending time with his Mizukage." she moaned as she pressed against him harder.

"Of course I missed you." he replied as he pushed up against her. "Not a day went by that I didn't think of your smiling face." She groaned and began grinding against him faster.

"Well I suppose I shouldn't hold back then." she said as she leaned forward and began shaking her butt for him. "I wonder if the others would get jealous knowing just how much you think of me." she teased. Naruto grinned and smacked her ass. She moaned and pushed back harder.

"What makes you think I wasn't thinking of them also?" he asked as he thrust up into her core. "All of you are special to me. I could never choose between you." Mei leaned back and Naruto's hands traveled up her body before grabbing her massive chest.

"Mmmmm….. So you we thinking about all of us?" she moaned. "Were you thinking about doing naughty things with two of us at the same time?" Naruto grinned as his trusting became faster.

"Why? Were you hoping for something like that to happen?" Mei began shaking as she shook her head.

"Don't be ridiculous you little pervert." she said as her movement grew frantic. "There's no way I'd ever be interested in something like that."

"Oh please." Naruto said with a roll of his eyes. "And I suppose you were constantly checking out Kushina because you love her fashion sense?" Mei bit her lip and knew she'd been caught.

"I can't help it." she cried. "You both have such cute faces, with such kissable lips, and intense eyes, and great bodies and FUCK!" she tensed as she soaked her panties while Naruto filled his boxers. Mei collapsed against Naruto's chest and he pulled her close.

"You know I'm starting to think you just like me for my body." he said getting a laugh from Mei. "As much fun as that was, I think we'd better get ready if we don't want to be late." Mei stood up, but instead of getting off the bed she bent down and pulled her panties off. Naruto's mouth watered as she exposed her ass and dripping pussy.

"We have time." she said as she pulled his boxers off. "Besides, you need to make up for causing me to make such a mess of my panties." Before he could point out that she started it she dropped onto his pole, burying it deep inside her. The pair moaned before Naruto tried to get thing back under control.

"I really don't think we have time for this." he groaned. Mei smiled and stopped moving. She looked over her shoulder and started at Naruto.

"Then by all means stop me." she said. They stared at each other for a few seconds before Naruto began thrusting into her. "That's what I thought." She quickly began moving back against him. "Oh god! It's been far too long." She squealed in delight as Naruto spanked her again. "That's it baby! Fuck me harder! Just like that!" Naruto grunted as he thrust himself deeper.

"You so naughty Mei." Naruto teased. "I wonder how Kiri would react to learning just what a dirty girl their Mizukage is." Mei moaned and fell back against him.

"Who gives a fuck?" she groaned. "There's nothing wrong with a woman doing dirty things with the man she loves." Naruto's eyes widened as he slowed down. While Mei had never tried to put any distance between them, she had also never really opened up to him. Sure they had shared their hopes and dreams with each other, but in the bedroom it was usually more about having fun instead of physically bonding. Naruto suspected it had to do with the fact she was interested in getting married while he didn't want to put any one of his girls over the others.

"Do you really mean that?" he asked. Mei blushed as she realized what she'd said. She looked like she was struggling to find the words to say. Before she could speak Naruto kissed her and began rubbing where they were connected. "You don't have to answer right away." he said. "Take as long as you need. But no matter what I'll always value our time together and I'll do everything I can to make you happy." Mei moaned as Naruto resumed his previous speed.

"Oh fuck!" she groaned as Naruto pinched her clit. "Keep it up! Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" she arched her back as Naruto pumped her full of his seed. They two lay together, basking in the afterglow of their lovemaking, until they looked at the clock.

"OH SHIT!"

=X=

Everyone glared at the pair as they raced into the meeting room. They had thrown of the same half-burned clothes they had trained in yesterday.

"You know," Nagato said. "If you are going to call together a meeting of four separate villages the least you can do is show up on time." Naruto noticed Nagato's glare and remembered Konan's concerns from the other day. Seeing the normally stoic Nagato stewing in anger just looked wrong. He'd definitely need to find out what was upsetting her.

"Well since we're all finally here maybe you can finally explain what's going on." Tsunade said with a look that promised pain if Naruto kept beating around the bush. Mei took her seat while Naruto walked over to a nearby map.

"Basically this is what's happening." he said as he pulled out a kunai. He slashed the map along the middle splitting the north and south halves. Pointing at the northern half he continued. "Otogakure, Takigakure, Iwagakure, and Kumogakure have joined forces and are plotting the destruction of Konoha and most likely destruction of its allies." Tsunade stood up in shock.

"We need to stop this from happening!" she said. "How would you recommend we stop them?" Naruto sadly shook his head.

"It too late to stop them." he said. "The deal is in the final stages. All we can do now is prepare and hope we can keep the casualties low. The fourth shinobi world war is about to begin." Everyone's eyes widened in horror. Apparently even his allies hadn't realized just how bad things were. Tsunade sat down and stared at Naruto.

"Maybe you should start from the beginning."

=X=

Fuck! Work has been kicking my ass! I haven't had the spare time to do anything. I got Splatoon on launch day, haven't even opened it yet! But on the plus side I managed to score a three pack of amiibos. Sorry about the huge delay. Hopefully the next chapter won't take as long. And before anyone asks yes I know Sarada isn't Sakura's daughter and no I don't give a fuck. Best case scenario it's too little too late. Worst case scenario it's derailing the characters even further. But I'll stop whining. It's not helping me and I'm sure you're all sick of hearing it. Next time: All your questions are finally answered! Later.


	9. The end of the age is a-coming now

Hey everyone! Sorry this is late. How do I know it's late if I'm just starting? Because it took me weeks to start it. Though to be fair I was supposed to get a new computer and I was holding off starting. So I'mm going to try to get this out fast so I can hurry up and get that new computer. It shouldn't take long since this chapter is basically Naruto revealing everything but you never know. Also as a reminder I won't respond to anonymous reviews. Sorry.

Ifonzo: Don't worry. You're questions will be answered this chapter. And while there may or may not be a few jokes at Hinata's expense in the future now's the time for her to start growing as a character. I agree it's terrible when someone is dragged through the mud, but it's just as bad when they're praised for doing nothing.

NARUHAREM FOREVA: Yeah sorry. I wasn't sure how else to describe it. Like in the last chapter there's the set-up for a future Naru/Mei/Kushi threesome. But it's not like Mei wants to get with all Naruto's girlfriends. She just has a thing for Kushina. Get what I mean?

agar: Normally I'd agree with you, especially since tons of bad flashbacks contributed to the crappy ending. But the thing about Naruto's growth here is it doesn't really diverge from canon, it just speeds it up. Naruto's relationship with Kurama and the speech he gave Konan and Nagato are the same as canon. They just happened sooner. Obviously there are differences, but they'll all be explained in this chapter. After that the new plot twist loop is done. Also the war is the main focus of this story. I could write Naruto's training trip, and it could be really good. But ultimately it'd just be an unnecessarily long intro.

Naruto Sakura Uzumaki: I know right? I was halfway through the chapter then I started working. And all my time vanished. And thank you. That's exactly what I was going for. Hopefully you'll enjoy some of the other twists I have planned.

Tsukoblue: I don't know. Are they? As far as I remember in the manga the only real mention of them is that they're the strongest minor village because they start shit with their neighbors then run and hide. I know there was that OVA but it was noncanon. Then again at this point the manga isn't canon either so what do I know?

Hybrid13: He was an idiot right up to the end. Apparently Kishimoto hates intelligent characters. And that's not me bashing on him. He literally said in an interview "I hate intelligent characters." Now he might have been lying given that he clearly loves the Uchiha and they seem pretty smart. But honestly at this point I don't give a fuck.

Mind : Wow. Thank you.

Iluvfriedchiken: Don't you worry. I think you'll be pleased by what's coming.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. The disclaimer from chapter 1 applies here. If I did it'd be nowhere near as popular. Which is sad.

=X=

"Well I guess the beginning was when I met the Sage of Six Paths. But you all know about that already right?" Everyone nodded so Naruto continued. "Well I figured the best place to start would be the Biju. I knew Akatsuki was collecting them and they were most likely being manipulated by Zetsu. Of course at the time the only other Biju I knew of was Shukaku, so I headed straight for Suna and asked Gaara for help."

"After he explained what was happening we were able to convince Shukaku to help us track down the other biju." Gaara said. "That was also when we discovered jinchuriki can share their biju's chakra with each other."

"Is that how Naruto was able to know that Suna was under attack?" Tsunade asked. Naruto nodded and channeled Shukaku's chakra, causing his eyes to darken like Gaara's.

"All the biju were originally one being." He said. "No matter how far apart they are, or how tightly they're sealed away they can always communicate with one another. If the biju gets along with the person they're sealed in they can allow that person to join in the conversation." he cut the chakra and his eyes went back to normal. "It's thanks to them I was able to learn about Oto's plot."

"Can they be trusted?" Tsunade asked, unwilling to risk Konoha's safety on the words of people she'd never even met.

"Depends on who you mean by 'they'." Naruto said. "I can guarantee the biju can be trusted. Once they found out I had talked to the Sage and was trying to protect them they happily agreed to help. As for the jinchuriki…" Naruto trailed off. "They aren't going to get in the way, but they aren't going to do anything to help us. But most of us are working together so we should be fine."

"We can go into more detail about that later." Jiraiya said. "I'm more curious to know what happened afterwards." Naruto nodded and turned to the map, before instantly regretting his need to be dramatic and rip it. Doing the best he could he began showing his route.

"Well once we managed to get Kurama and Shukaku to agree to help us they we able to track the other biju for me." Naruto said. "From Suna I head north towards Iwa. There I met Son Goku and Kokuo and throughout their chakra gained limited forms of Lava and Boil releases."

"Don't sell yourself short." Mei said. "I've seen you do some truly impressive things for someone who was only just learning how to use them." Naruto blushed and scratched his cheek.

"Thank you." he said as she sent a flirty wink his way. Tsunade cleared her throat causing Naruto to quickly turn back to the map. "After that I headed east to Taki where I met Chomei." Naruto stared off into space for a moment before giving a sad sigh. Before anyone could ask he continued. "Next I planned on heading to Kumo, but the only way there was through the Land of Rice Fields. That's when things got….. interesting."

"Interesting?" Kushina laughed. "That's how you're going to describe it? I mean it's not 'wrong' but really?" Naruto shrugged.

"I'm a ninja, not a writer." he said. "But anyways, as I was cutting through the Land of Rice Fields, I ended up stumbling across one of Orochimaru's bases." Jiraiya and Tsunade both tensed up. "I decided to investigate to see if I could learn anything about what was happening with Sasuke." The two sannin face palmed. "What I found was a massive sealing array. I looked through all the nearby notes and found out Orochimaru had been experimenting with the Edo Tensei and was trying and failing to resurrecting Kushina."

"Wait," Jiraiya said. "If Orochimaru wasn't able to resurrect her why did it work for you?" He was very curious to find out more about this technique.

"What Orochimaru didn't realize was it's not enough for the person to be dead." Naruto said. "Their souls have to be in the afterlife. No matter what Kushina would have been impossible to resurrect as long as her soul was locked away in my seal." Seeing Jiraiya's confused face Kushina spoke up.

"When Minato sealed Kurama in Naruto he also sealed me so I could help him take control of Kurama's chakra." she explained. "Of course he ended up not needing it, which would have been bad if this hadn't happened."

"Exactly," Naruto said. "But what I discovered was if you happen to somehow have possession of a soul you become the exception to that rule. Before that I doubt anyone knew about that little loophole. Or at least Orochimaru didn't. Otherwise he probably wouldn't have walked right onto the sealing array." Tsunade's eyes shot open.

"Are you telling me you defeated Orochimaru and used him as a sacrifice to resurrect Kushina?" she asked. Naruto shook his head.

"When you say it like that it sounds like I was able to overpower him in a fight." he said. "Really he could have easily killed me and I probably couldn't do a thing to him. It was pure luck and nothing else that beat him. Plus as long as there are people with curse marks out there than it's possible for him to come back."

"So since you had Kushina's soul, that made the Edo Tensei better somehow?" Jiraiya asked. Once again Naruto shook his head.

"No. It worked the same as always." he said. "I know I should have ended it as soon as it was activated, but not many orphans get a chance to meet with their mothers so instead of letting her go I asked her to accompany me on my journey."

"And I wasn't about to miss out on some bonding time with him so of course I agreed." Kushina said. "Good thing too or he might not have survived his time in Kiri." The two Uzumaki laughed and Naruto continued.

"Right. So after I met Gyuki and Matatabi we started heading for the Land of Water since that was the last place we could go. On our way back through the Land of Rice Fields we ended up running into a very pissy Sasuke Uchiha." Naruto said. The eyes of everyone from Konoha shot open. "He was whining that I killed Orochimaru and he wasn't done learning from him. I really wanted to capture him right there but I figured dragging him back to Konoha wouldn't do any good if there wasn't any Konoha to drag him back to. So I told him to quit his bitching and just go kill Itachi if it was so damn important to him. Quit asking others for help and train himself. After that I let him go. I think we can all agree that was a mistake." All of Naruto's allies nodded except Itachi who seemed to grow depressed.

"He was such a cute little baby." Kushina cried. "How did it all go so horribly wrong?" The thought of Kushina baby talking to Sasuke made everyone start laughing.

"So we headed for the Land of Water." Naruto said. "On the beach separating the Land of Fire and the Land of Water we met up with Utakata, the jinchuriki of Saiken. Apparently he just wanted to wait out the civil war. He figured both sides hated him so it wasn't his fight. I managed to talk him into helping us reach the Land of Water and once I heard what Yagura was doing we joined the rebels."

"Winning was much easier with the help of two jinchuriki plus an unkillable Uzumaki." Mei said. "Not that we were losing in the first place. Yagura seemed more concerned with destroying everything the actually defeating us."

"Which he probably was." Naruto said. "But with the smart people planning everything we were able to beat them all the way back to Kiri. Then we found out why Yagura was acting so crazy. Someone was controlling him. The same someone who ripped Kurama out of Kushina the day I was born." Jiraiya and Kakashi jumped up in horror.

"You're telling us the guy that killed Minato is still running around out there doing who knows what?" Jiraiya asked. Tsunade made a motion for them to sit down.

"Relax." she said. "According to Naruto he's been taken care of. Though I'm hoping Naruto will actually be willing to share with us." She glared at Naruto, letting him now he'd better start talking soon.

"Well it was all thanks to Kushina." he said. "During our travels she enveloped a way to scale down the seals for the Edo Tensei. Of course you still need someones DNA plus a sacrifice so it isn't perfect. But still a small piece of paper is a lot better than a room sized seal."

"Of course it is. That's why I did it." Kushina said proudly. "That original seal was so inefficient. As an Uzumaki I couldn't let it go."

"Right." Naruto said, still not understanding her obsession with seals. "So we made it to Kiri and confronted Yagura. But the guy pulling the strings had enough of us. So he pulled Isobu out of Yagura and sent him rampaging across Kiri while he confronted me. Unfortunately he had this weird eye thingy that let him jump through dimensions or something. Whatever it was it made him impossible to hit."

"So how did you stop him and what exactly does the Edo Tensei have to do with it?" Tsunade asked.

"Well he still had to move to attack me." Naruto said. "During all that jumping around he dropped something. That something turned out to be a lock of hair. When he noticed I had it he started panicking and demanding it back. So I wrapped it in the Edo Tensei tag Kushina had developed and pretended I was wrapping it in an explosive tag. Underhanded I guess, but after learning what he had done to Kiri I wasn't in the mood to be nice. So I threw it and activated it. When it didn't explode he figured it was a dud and grabbed it. The Edo Tensei activated and next thing I know there's Rin."

"Wait," Kakashi said. "Why would a lunatic who killed Minato and lead a genocide in Kiri have a lock of your hair?" Rin sighed, knowing the next part would be difficult.

"Because it was Obito." she said sadly. Kakashi stared back at her, his eyes full of confusion and hurt. With a sigh Rin continued. "Somehow he survived having a boulder dropped on him. After seeing you kill me he decided to turn Akatsuki into a terrorist organization, start a genocidal civil war in Kiri as revenge against them attacking us, even though he already killed the ninja who attacked us, and killed Minato and Kushina so it'd be easier to steal Kurama later." Kakashi's stare grew dull and empty.

"So once that happened." Naruto said, not wanting his teacher to start wallowing in despair. "Kushina was able to restrain Isobu and Rin agreed to have him sealed inside her. Again apparently. So we weren't sure what to do since we couldn't leave Rin running around as an undead jinchuriki. But by then I had chakra from all the biju and had started getting along with Kurama. It was then I realized having only half of Kurama in me gave me a massive affinity for yang release. As long as someone is alive I can heal more or less any wound. But I wasn't totally sure if someone under the effects of Edo Tensei were alive or dead. That's when I had a crazy idea."

"Is this how you managed to bring them back to life?" Jiraiya asked, having been curious since yesterday. Naruto nodded and began explaining.

"You see the Edo Tensei doesn't actually bering people back to life. It pulls their souls out of the afterlife and creates a chakra construct based on their body. If we wanted we could go dig up Rin's body right now." Everyone cringed at the thought, except for Rin who seemed morbidly interested in robbing her own grave. "The Edo Tensei body can heal indefinitely because there isn't really a body there. So I wondered 'If I destroyed the construct and created a body in it's place, what would happen?' I proposed the idea to Kushina and Rin and we decided to test it on Kushina." Everyone glanced at Kushina who shrugged.

"What? I was also curious." she said. "It's not everyday someone gives you the opportunity to get an all new body."

"It wasn't easy." Naruto said. "Even with the power of all nine biju breaking down and rebuilding an entire body cell by cell is hard. I was completely exhausted for days afterwards. Also we didn't expect the seal to collapse the way it did so there were some….. side-effects."

"What kind of side-effects?" Tsunade asked. Naruto scratched his head nervously, clearly unsure how to explain it.

"Umm… well basically… Umm… you see… Umm… Kushina do you want to handle this?" Kushina began to think about it, before noticing that Kakashi, in his depression, had started reading Jiraiya's newest book. She scowled at his poor tastes. She had been very excited to learn that while she was dead Jiraiya had written two more books with a third on the way. Sadly that excitement faded very quickly. While Jiraiya had once written an amazing adventure filled with interesting characters and an engaging storyline, now he just wrote crummy slapped together romances filled with flat unlikeable characters with a dull drawn out story that went nowhere. She decided to teach Kakashi to never read that garbage in front of her. She gained an evil grin as she channeled her chakra. Suddenly, to the horror of everyone from Konoha, her head shot forward while her body stayed in place. Oversized fangs clamped down on Kakashi's book while snakelike eyes glared up at him.

"Don't ever let me catch you reading this trash again, Kakassssshi!" she hissed angrily. She pulled her head back and turned to spit the book out. "Gross. Tastes like filler." Everyone stared awkwardly at her.

"What the hell was that?" Jiraiya asked. Kushina made a face and stuck out her tongue, which was still long and snaky.

"Well even after Kushina explained it a million times I still don't totally get it," Naruto said. "But the person used as the sacrifice is stuck halfway between the real world and the afterlife. When I rebuilt Kushina's body the seal had no idea what to do. So it put half of Orochimaru in the afterlife and stuck half of him with Kushina. She knows all of his snake based jutsu, plus she now has a contract with the snakes."

"So did Rin gain some kind of benefit?" Kakashi asked while staring sadly at his chewed up book in the corner. She closed her left eye and began to channel chakra not her right. It twitched several times before turning red with three tomes. It slowly began to spin before blood began to leak from the sides. She quickly slapped a hand over her eye while channeling healing chakra.

"FUCKING HELL!" She screamed. After a few seconds she removed her hand and blinked a few times, showing her eye was back to normal. "Sadly my benefit isn't as good as Kushina's. While I gained the Sharingan, my eye isn't meant to use it, so it's underpowered and painful to use. Luckily instead I learned all of Obito's plans, including where Akatsuki was based out of."

"So once we finished rebuilding Kiri Kushina and Rin stayed behind to help protect it until they were completely back on their feet while I headed to Ame." Naruto said. "Naturally it didn't take long for Konan to confront me. I told her I wasn't there to fight I just wanted to speak to Nagato. She was shocked I knew who was in charge of Akatsuki but took me anyways, figuring Nagato could beat me no matter what. Of course she's probably right." Everyone looked at Nagato who seemed uncomfortable at being the center of attention.

"Which is exactly why I didn't want him going on his own." Rin said. "I was fully aware of just what Nagato's capable of when he insisted on racing of to Ame on his own."

"Yeah, but with everything you told me about why Obito was able to manipulate them I figured I would be able to connect with them best." Naruto said. "And it'd probably be easier with just me. So I spoke with them about their past, talked about my past, and talked about Jiraiya's dream of peace. Since it was a dream they shared with me I was barely able to get through to them. So eventually Nagato agreed that, if nothing else, a bunch of S-rank lunatics working together was bad for everyone. So the rest of Akatsuki was called and told they were breaking up. The only ones who seemed to care were Itachi and Kisame. Well Zetsu was pretty pissed but considering he was manipulating Madara into manipulating Obito into manipulating Nagato I imagine he'd be pissed at me messing everything up."

"I always knew there was something not right about him." Konan said. "But to think he was some ancient chakra construct trying to free the original chakra user. That came out of nowhere."

"So the three of them showed up right as I was inspecting Akatsuki's ultimate weapon." Naruto said. "That weapon just so happened to be the dried up husk of Kaguya. So with the seals the Sage gave me, slightly modified by Kushina, I channeled a bit of each biju's chakra into it. I figured I'd get all the answers straight from the source. Once I channeled all their chakra into it, the husk began to come alive, when suddenly it crumbled revealing her." he said while pointing up. Everyone looked towards the vaulted ceiling and saw Kaguya floating there, staring blankly down at them. After a few seconds she drifted backwards into a portal, her stare never leaving Naruto.

"When the hell? How long was she up there?" Kakashi asked. Karin shrugged and gave a bored grunt.

"Who knows?" she said. "She follows Naruto everywhere and completely ignores everyone else. use ignore her back and you'll be fine."

"Right, so she emerged from the husk still asleep." Naruto continued. "So I slapped the modified seals on her. It would limit her to using the bare minimum of chakra. What I didn't count on was for her, bare minimum of chakra is still more than all five kage combined. So she attacked us and it took me, Itachi, Kisame, Konan and Nagato combined, plus a lot of seals made by Kushina to finally stop her. Luckily despite having a near limitless supply of chakra she has no idea how to use it. So we stopped her with almost no damage to Ame. However the strain left Nagato extremely weak. A girl offered to be a new vessel, even though she was also injured. Nagato agreed to use the Rinnegan's powers to transfer them and the knowledge of how to use them to her while I offered to heal her with my Yang chakra. But in our rush to fix everything it never occurred to us that using a high powered Yin technique and a high powered Yang technique at the same time would be a bad idea. They combined into a Yin-yang release that left Nagato in this body."

"Yes," Nagato said blankly. "It's amazing what an idiot can 'accidentally' do when they have no idea what they're doing." Naruto looked at Nagato and saw her glaring a hole through his head. 'Is she still mad at me?' he thought. 'I thought we had moved past this.' he then remembered the tone she had used when she said accidentally. 'Wait, does she think I did this on purpose?' he looked back and saw she was now looking over the paperwork to finalize the alliance, but still had an angry scowl on her face. 'I hope Konan talks with her soon. I really don't want her mad with me.'

"So anyways," he awkwardly said. "With Nagato in a new body and Kaguya at least somewhat under control I confronted Itachi and Kisame. Kisame apparently knew about Obito controlling Yagura the whole time. But he thought Madara Uchiha was the one pulling the strings, which I guess technically wasn't wrong."

"That's the second time you've mentioned Madara." Tsunade said. "What does he have to do with all of this?" Naruto looked at Rin who nodded.

"Madara Uchiha somehow survived his fight with Hashirama Senju." Rin said. "He was manipulated by Zetsu to encourage him to release Kaguya. When he got too old he found Obito, told him about 'his' plan and sent him out to cause chaos in the world."

"Kisame met Obito and agreed to help, thinking that things would be better for everyone with what the Uchiha were planning." Naruto said. "I told him that with Obito and Yagura dead and Kaguya summoned he had no reason to keep running and he should surrender to Mei and maybe she'd go easy on him. He headed back for Kiri and I don't know what happened to him after that. All I know is Rin somehow became the new owner of Samehada."

"It's not my fault Samehada likes my chakra." she said. "Plus it turns out that I actually have something of a talent for swords."

"So with Kisame gone I asked Itachi why he was doing everything he was doing." Naruto said. "He decided to tell me about the Uchiha Massacre. I pointed out that weather or not killing the Uchiha was right or wrong he didn't deserve to be labeled a missing nin just for following orders, especially since some of those orders didn't even come from the Hokage. He said he would consider it and left. He came back to Ame right as I was leaving. You'll have to ask him what happened."

"I decided to confront Sasuke and tell him the truth about the massacre." Itachi said. "I decided to let him do whatever he wanted with the information. When I found him he was combining several of Orochimaru's bases into an actual village. At first he refused to believe me. Eventually he believed me and asked me to train with him. It was…" he gave a sad sigh. "It was nice. Sadly he soon began talking about destroying Konoha as revenge for destroying the Uchiha. I pointed out that the Uchiha weren't rebelling because they wanted to destroy Konoha. They were rebelling because they felt that they could do a better job of keeping Konoha safe than the current leadership could. He asked me to leave, saying he needed some time to himself to sort things out. Now he's leading Otogakure and has united several former Akatsuki members. I suspect that Zetsu has chosen him to be a new puppet to manipulate."

"So with my trip coming close to an end I decided to visit the Land of Waves since that's where my first real mission was." Naruto said. "I got caught up with Tazuna and his family. I saw the bridge that was named after me. And I stopped to pray at Haku and Zabuza's graves. While I was praying though I was attacked by a team of Oto ninja sent to kill me. I probably would have use beaten them and let them go, but one of them started running his mouth about how pathetic Haku and Zabuza were. He even used a water jutsu to destroy their graves and tried to steal Kubikiribocho. I had one last Edo Tensei seal that Kushina had made. I hadn't been planning on using it but against this creep I made an exception. So I randomly grabbed one of the bones that had been uncovered wrapped the tag around it and threw it at the guys back while he tried to take Kubikiribocho. Turns out the bone belonged to Haku. With Haku's help I was able to catch the kunoichi but the other guy got away. At first I wasn't sure what to do with Haku since I didn't want to force him to be alive. But he was interested in seeing the new Kiri, plus he wanted to keep Zabuza's sword safe. So I revived him, we traveled around, the kunoichi developed Stockholm Syndrome, and now we're here."

"I don't have Stockholm Syndrome!" Karin screeched. She realized everyone was staring at her before she blushed and hid behind Haku.

"Well that explains how you got here." Tsunade said. "But that still doesn't explain why four hidden villages are getting ready to destroy us." Naruto shrugged and pointed at the map.

"They don't really have a reason not to." he said. "Oto was created solely for the purpose of destroying Konoha. As much as everyone loves to brag about how great they are the fact is Kumo is in fact the strongest village. With how many times they've tried to steal bloodlines it wouldn't be that hard to get them as allies. If they went as far as they did for one Hyuga imagine what they'd do for an entire clan. Maybe Sasuke will throw in a few Akimichi and Nara just for kicks. And Taki is the strongest minor village. If one of the major villages falls they get to claim their spot among the major villages."

"And I'm sure Iwa can't wait for the opportunity to get revenge for how badly we beat them in the last war." Tsunade said. Naruto gave a low laugh.

"Actually they're as close to an ally as we have over there." he said. "While most of the general public doesn't like Konoha, most of the higher ups are completely indifferent to us. They might be sending troops to fight us, but they're only going to send the bare minimum." Tsunade sighed and rubbed her temples.

"So how long until all of this blows up in our faces." she asked. Naruto closed his eyes and thought for a moment.

"It'll be a few weeks before the fighting really picks up." he said "But the first few conflicts could begin in the next few days." Everyone lowered their heads. This was much worse than they originally thought.

"Very well," Tsunade said standing up. "From now until those bastards attack us we're going to train our asses off and show them why you don't fuck with Konoha or its allies!" Everyone in the room seemed to perk up at this. "Now let's finish writing up what we want from this alliance. We can finalize it tomorrow. Any objections?" When nobody said anything she stood up. "Dismissed!" Everyone began filing out of the room as Naruto walked up to Kushina.

"Hey Kushina, want to go grab some ramen?" he asked. Kushina blushed a shade that put her hair to shame.

"Don't be ridiculous." she said. "Rin's been going crazy waiting to get some alone time with you. Why don't you take her?" Rin sighed.

"I really wish I could," she said. "But sadly I have business to attend to with Itachi. Speaking of, Lady Tsunade is there a spare hospital room we can borrow?" Tsunade nodded in confusion. "Perfect! Come on Itachi. We'll get your eyes fixed right up." She said with a fang filled grin.

"Well what about Konan?" Kushina asked. "It's been a long time since you've seen her." Konan gave a pervy giggle.

"Oh trust me." she said. "He saw plenty of me the other day." Mei joined her in giggling. "Besides I'm still teaching Nagato the ins and outs of paperwork." Nagato blushed and walked away mumbling. Kushina suddenly found herself being pushed forward by Mei.

"Go on. Get out there. Have some fun." she said. "You need some quality mother son bonding." Kushina turned even redder along with everyone from Konoha. Before she could say anything Naruto grabbed her wrist and dragged her away.

=X=

As the meeting to decide the future of the shinobi world was letting out a kunoichi was at the training grounds panting. She had been given a set of exercises that she was expected to complete before Tsunade got back. She was currently halfway through her run when the heat had become too much. She looked down at her bulky jacket, which was the source of her discomfort.

"This would be so much easier without this jacket." Hinata muttered to herself. "But what if Naruto sees me?" She had always hated how busty she had become as she had grown while Naruto had always had eyes for the petite Sakura. When she heard he had started dating other girls she had been excited. But the first girl he had asked was Ino, who while curvier than Sakura was still much smaller than her. Before she could continue her train of thought Tsunade's warning repeated in her head.

"I'm not here to help your love life. If you fail here I won't hesitate to kick you out of the shinobi program." Hinata quickly pulled off her jacket and tossed it under a nearby tree. Instantly she felt much cooler as the breeze blew around her mesh shirt. She gave a relaxed sigh and continued running.

"This is nice." she said to herself. "Maybe I should loosen my clothes more often." The thought of everyone being able to see her body caused her to turn red. "Or maybe not."

=X=

Kushina continued to blush as Naruto dragged her to his favorite ramen stand. The whole time he wouldn't stop talking about how much see would love it. As they approached they sound of someone laughing insanely caught their attention. Entering the stand Naruto was more than a little nervous to see the insane snake lady from three years ago.

"Oh man, are you serious?" she choked out through her laughter. Ayame nodded causing her to laugh even harder. "That's the funniest thing I've heard in my entire life." Ayame shook her head.

"It really isn't that funny." she said as Anko fell out of her seat laughing. "It's definitely a little strange, but it's not really funny." Anko pulled herself back into her seat.

"Are you kidding? It's hilarious! You're telling me Kakashi-" she was cut off by Kushina grabbing her head. "Uhh… can I help you?" She asked in a threatening tone. Kushina ignored her and stared at her neck.

"This seal…" she said blankly while staring at Anko's curse mark. "It's all wrong. I need to fix it." Anko's eyes widened as she struggled to escape Kushina's grasp.

"What the hell? Get the fuck off me you weirdo!" she screamed. Kushina ignored her and began channeling chakra through her fingers. She began twisting and rewriting symbols as Anko squirmed and thrashed. With a final pull Kushina yanked a small white snake out of the seal. It hissed angrily before Kushina snapped it's neck and tossed it's corpse aside.

"There you go." Kushina said cheerfully. "Sadly the seal does't do much of anything now. Though I suppose you could keep a flow of chakra going into it and build up a storage supply like Tsunade's." Anko reached up and ran her hands over the seal.

"What did you just do?" she asked, confused about what just happened. Kushina smiled and sat down next to her.

"I removed Orochimaru's influence from the seal on your neck." she replied. "But since the whole point of that seal was to allow Orochimaru to take over your body it doesn't really have a purpose anymore. Like I said, it can store chakra, but that's not it's primary purpose so it won't be very effective." Anko stared in amazement at Kushina before asking the question on her mind.

"Why would you do this for me?" Kushina looked up from the ramen she had just ordered and blinked in confusion.

"I didn't do it for you." she said. "I saw a faulty seal and I fixed it. Nothing more." Anko gave a blank stare before shrugging and jumping up.

"Well whatever." she said as she paid and turned towards the entry. "I don't really care why you did it. All I care is that fucking seal is gone. I'm going to go celebrate!" She ran away cheering at the top of her lungs. Naruto sat next to Kushina and ordered a bowl.

"Well that went well." he said. "Though I'm not sure you fooled her with that whole 'I didn't do it for you' routine." Kushina shrugged and slurped her noodles.

"Yeah but what was I supposed to tell her?" she asked. "My son killed your teacher, reviving me, and now I have all his memories, so I know just how to fix you? Yeah that would have gone well." Naruto smiled and began eating his ramen.

"Naruto, who is this?" Ayame asked. "And why have you been bringing so many girls here lately?" Naruto grinned and pulled Kushina into a hug.

"This is Kushina Uzumaki." he said happily. "She's my mother and also one of my other girlfriends." Kushina resumed blushing while Ayame smiled and nodded.

"That's nice." she said before Naruto's words fully hit her. "WAIT WHAT?" Kushina buried her face in her hands while Naruto laughed at Ayame's reaction. "Naruto…" she said in a threatening tone. "Explain… NOW!"

=X=

"With this your eyes should be as good as new." Rin said as she finished bandaging Itachi's face. "Though I would obviously advise against using them for a while." Itachi ran his hands over the bandages.

"Understood." he said "I'll do my best to ensure all your hard work doesn't go to waste." Rin laugh and started cleaning up.

"It was nothing, really." she said. "All I had to do was take Shisui's eyes, detach the retina from the cornea, remove the iris, detach your corneas, aline your Sharingan in a way that allowed them to form an Eternal Mangekyo Sharingan, then reattach your cornea with disturbing the iris. Assuming nothing goes wrong with your pupils you'll be fine." She explained the same way someone might explain that it was raining outside.

"Are you absolutely sure you've never had any sort of medical training?" Tsunade asked. She and Sakura had been observing the entire operation and had been amazed at the skill the supposedly self trained medic had displayed.

"Nothing beyond reading lots for medical books." she replied. "Why are you so surprised? Didn't you teach yourself to be a medic?"

"I taught myself basic first aid and developed new ways of using medical chakra." she said. "I didn't flip through a few books and teach myself how to perform a major surgery with no assistance and barely any extra tools." Rin smiled proudly at being praised by someone of Tsunade's skill.

"It's really nothing." she said. "The human body is basically just a machine. As long as you put everything back where it's supposed be, you'll be just fine." Tsunade shook her head at Rin's relaxed approach.

"It sure is a shame I lost kunoichi or your and Kushina's skill to Kiri." She said. "But we're all allies anyways now, so I look forward to working with you in the future." Rin smiled and gave a bow to the slug princess. "Speaking of Kushina: if Naruto knows Kushina is his mother, why does he keep calling her by her first name?"

"There's just to much distance between them." Rin said. "Naruto knows she's his mother, but by the time she showed up he was already 15. After being alone that long he really didn't need a mother." Sakura and Tsunade both lowered their heads in sadness. "And from her point of view Naruto was born, then the next day that baby is gone and a sexy blonde hunk is in his place. She may want to be a mother but she really can't baby a teenager."

"So what exactly is their relationship?" Sakura asked. "Because from the way Lady Tsunade described it she seemed rather uncomfortable around him. Why is that?"

"Well a lot of the things that make Naruto great are also things that made Minato great." she said. "I get the feeling that she worries that she doesn't really love Naruto, she's just using him as an easy replacement for Minato. Personally I think she's actually in love with him, but that's something she's going to need to realize on her own." Sakura and Tsunade stared at her confused.

"When you say it that way you almost make it sound like they're dating." Tsunade said. Sakura laughed at her teacher's joke. Naruto may have done some insane stuff, but sleeping with his mother? Even he wasn't that insane. As their laughter died down they noticed Rin's blank stare. "Oh my god! What the hell?" Rin shrugged.

"Whatever Naruto wants to do in his spare time is his business." she said. "And that includes dating other girls." Tsunade pinched her nose and groaned while Sakura tried to distract herself by moving to Itachi and running a diagnostic jutsu.

"Now let's see if we can't figure out what's causing those chest pains you were complaining of."

=X=

As the sun slowly set on Konoha Kushina and Naruto sat on top of the Hokage Monument watching the city be bathed in orange light.

"Well you were right Naruto." Kushina said. "It certainly is beautiful up here at sunset." Watching the people go about their lives she thought about the life she had planned with Minato and Naruto. The life she would never get to live. She wasn't able to stop a sad sigh from escaping her mouth.

"Hey Kushina, what's wrong?" Naruto asked. Kushina quickly put a smile on her face and tried to cover it up but Naruto quickly saw through it. "Kushina you know you can tell me anything right?" She quickly grabbed him and pulled him into a hug.

"I'm sorry." she said. "We left you all alone with nobody to take care of you. You must have been so lonely and miserable." Naruto returned the hug and began stroking her hair.

"It's not your fault." He assured her. "You didn't pull Kurama out of yourself and send him on a rampage. Sure it was lonely sometimes. But you're here now and that's all the matters." Kushina smiled and kissed him on the cheek.

"You're so wonderful." she said. "I imagine most people growing up like you did would become self-centered creeps who would just use people to make themselves feel better. I'm glad you were able to rise above it." Naruto smiled at her words.

"Hey I'm going to be Hokage someday." he said. "What kind of Hokage would I be if I just stung people along to look cool then tossed them aside when I was done?"

"A pretty lousy one." Kushina said. She rested her head on Naruto's shoulder while he continued to stroke her hair. Konoha slowly grew darker and darker until the sun vanished and the streetlights came on.

"So, was there anything else you wanted to do while you're back in Konoha?" Naruto asked. Kushina blushed but leaned in and kissed him again.

"I can think of a few things."

=X=

Ino yawned as she finished cleaning up her father's flower shop so she could close for the day. Konan had said she would stop by today, but she had never showed up.

"What am I doing with my life?" she sarcastically asked herself. "I'm upset that I got stood up by my boyfriend's girlfriend."

"Oh, so now he is your boyfriend?" a voice from the entrance teased. Ino looked up and saw Konan standing in the doorway with a large grin on her face.

"Well I'm still waiting for the final approval from all of you." she responded. "But so far I haven't really seen a downside to it."

"He really is something special isn't he?" Konan asked as Ino locked up. "Me and the others were going to grab a drink. Would you care to join us?" Interested in seeing who else Naruto had hooked Ino quickly followed after the bluenette.

"Of course." she said. "I still want to meet these other mystery ladies." Konan smiled and pointed to a pair of women standing into front of a nearby bar. The two noticed the approaching pair and smiled at them.

"Ino Yamanaka meet Rin Nohara, former medic of Konoha and current member of the Seven Swordsmen of Kiri." Rin waved as Ino was stunned that Naruto would be interested in her while he was already dating someone so powerful. "And this is Mei Terumi, the fifth Mizukage." Ino couldn't stop here jaw from hitting the floor. The girls laughed at her expression before dragging her towards the bar. "Sadly Kushina Uzumaki won't be joining us tonight. She's having fun somewhere else." Ino barely heard her.

"What does Naruto see in me?" she asked herself.

=XXX=

Kushina moaned as Naruto slowly kissed his way down her neck. The two were currently laying topless on Naruto's bed. As he licked her shoulder he reached up and gave her breast a firm squeeze, pulling a groan of delight from her throat. Naruto grinned as her kissed her shoulder. Wanting to please all his girlfriends he had quickly learned what turned them on. Konan and Rin loved oral, both giving and receiving. Though she would always deny it, Mei always got wound up talking about other women. He figured it was only a matter of time before she tried to convince someone to join her for a threesome. Kushina meanwhile loved having her chest played with.

"Oh baby," she moaned as Naruto took her nipple into his mouth. "Mmm… yeah. Just like that. Keep doing that." Naruto lightly bit down while gently pinching and twisting the other. Kushina buried her hands in his hair and pushed her breasts into his face. She panted and gasped for air as Naruto pulled away and removed his pants. "What are you up to?" she asked. Naruto moved to straddle her chest.

"I figured since you love having your tits played with, you wouldn't mind letting me fuck them." he said in a permission seeking tone. Kushina grinned and pushed her breasts together. Naruto slowly ran the head of his dick over her nipples before pushing it in between her luscious mounds. She gave an appreciative moan as he resumed flicking her nipples.

"You like fucking my boobs?" she asked as Naruto began thrusting. Without waiting for an answer she stuck her tongue out and started licking his tip. Naruto groaned and sped up.

"Of course." he said. "Your boobs are absolutely amazing. I'm sure Mei would agree, don't you think?" Kushina blushed but instead of saying anything she leaned forward, taking Naruto's entire tip in her mouth. Naruto grunted and began thrusting faster. Kushina moaned around his dick and began sucking the head. "Shit, Kushina I'm going to cum." Kushina pulled her head back and began alternating rubbing her tits up and down his shaft.

"Go on baby." she moaned. "Give it to me. Cum on me!" She resumed licking while Naruto increased the pressure on her breasts.

"Fuck!" he yelled as the first shot of cum flew up and splashed across Kushina's forehead. She giggled as the second shot landed on her nose before the rest flowed into her mouth. She began collecting his sperm and licking it up while Naruto removed her pants. He was about to return the favor when Kushina grabbed him and pulled him into a kiss. Naruto grabbed her ass as she climbed into his lap.

"Hurry up!" she begged. "I need you. Hurry up!" Naruto kissed her as her dropped her onto his dick. She threw her head back and screamed as Naruto resumed sucking her breasts. "That's it baby. Fuck me, fuck me, FUCK ME!" Naruto began thrusting into her as she learned back, her arms barely keeping her grip around his neck.

"Damn. What has you so wound up?" Naruto asked. Kushina moaned and began grinding against his thrusts.

"I can't help it." she moaned. "We only had one chance to be together before you left and Mei and Rin wouldn't shut up about how amazing you are and it's been driving me insane." Naruto grinned and kissed her before leaning towards her ear.

"Well let's see if we can make up for lost time." Kushina managed to keep the frown off her face. Being reminded of lost time made her think of Minato. She remembered when they used to make love like this. Her heart began to fill with sadness before she met Naruto's eyes. Seeing the unrestrained love in his eyes made her heart beat faster. She knew her and Naruto had a bizarre relationship. But right now she would't give it up for anything. "I'm going to cum again." Except that.

"Not inside me!" she begged. "Anywhere but inside." Swearing Naruto quickly pulled out and covered Kushina's breasts and stomach in cum. The feeling of being covered in Naruto's jizz set off Kushina and she moaned her climax. The two collapsed onto the bed and held each other close.

"Next time warn me before we start." he said. Kushina grinned sheepishly and kissed Naruto on the cheek.

"I'll make sure to keep that in mind." she said as she began to drift off to sleep. "I love you, my baby." The last thing she heard before losing consciousness made her smile.

"I love you too, mom."

=X=

Across the land three ninja stood talking to seven spectral ninja. Thanks to his new rinnegan and the rings stolen from Akatsuki it was very easy for Sasuke to keep in touch with his new "partners." Currently they were discussing their plans for the opening of the war.

"Following that my forces will link with Kumo's and our combined forces will overrun them." Sasuke said as he finished laying out his plan.

"Rather impressive." The Fourth Raikage A said. "Though I am rather curious as to why you insist we keep the jinchuriki uninformed of what's happening." Sasuke glared at the much larger man, though his attempt at intimidation did nothing.

"In case you forgot Naruto Uzumaki snuck into your villages and linked chakra with all the biju." he replied. "The jinchuriki may be loyal to you but I can assure you that the biju are loyal to him. It's bad enough that she's here." he pointed to the scrawny tanned girl with green hair. She showed no reaction to Sasuke's words.

"I understand." she droned out blankly. "I shall inform the future Takikage that my presence is unwanted." The pinkette next to Sasuke snorted.

"You do that." she said. "Just because you spend all your time locked up inside your own crazy little head doesn't mean you aren't listening. We don't need you fucking up our plans by running your skanky little mouth." The two kage frowned at Tayuya's rudeness but Fu continued to stare blankly ahead.

"I shall inform the future Takikage that my presence is unwanted." she repeated. "You shall not see me again." Sasuke rolled his eyes, not wanting to deal with the mentally broken girl.

"Is there any other business that needs to be taken care of?" Fu ignored the question while the kages said nothing, not wanting to deal with the Uchiha anymore. "Very well." Sasuke cut his chakra causing the specters to vanish. "One week." he said to himself. "One week and Konoha will burn."

=X=

FUCK! I have nothing else to say. Everything about reality has been beating my ass into the ground lately. So I don't know when the next chapter will be up, but I do my best to insure it doesn't take two fucking months. After that I going to take a break for my original stuff. Then I be back to this. Later.


	10. Restoring old bonds

Chapter 10. Let's get to this. As a warning in advance this chapter is very lemon heavy, but it's also going to be the last on with lemons for a while. Sorry perverts. Like I'm one to talk. Nothing else really to say. Also I forgot to mention. Brain cookies for anyone who gets what the last chapter title is a reference to. If you don't get the reference and use google to look it up, know that I like the metal version better. It's the unofficial theme of this story. Anyways…..

Deiru Tamashi: Thank you. Personally I don't really liked how it turned out. I don't think I got the right balance of Kushina missing Minato and Kushina loving Naruto for himself. Hopefully it will get better as it goes on. But if you say it's good alright.

Naruto Sakura Uzumaki: Thank you very much. As an aspiring writer your words fill me with joy. I honestly think my creativity is my best trait. It's the one thing I'd never give up. And my job is seasonal so summer ending is actually making everything easier. At least time wise.

WindyCitySlayer1: I think you're going to like this chapter.

thor94: A does care about Bee. That's why he's asking why they's not informing the jinchuriki about anything. But Sasuke is right when he says the biju are more loyal to Naruto than anything else. And given how close Kumo's jinchuriki are with their biju it stands to reason anything the jinchuriki know the biju know. Hint hint.

Banjo the Fox: Your username is funny but honestly if you hadn't already left I'd be asking you to leave.

Transfiguration: Thank you. I can't answer everything without spoiling stuff but here's what I can say. I agree, the part with Obito was weak. I honestly had nothing for him to do, I needed someone to bring back Rin, he's the only person in the world who would realistically have her DNA. It all just sort of blandly came together. I've added some stuff to the upcoming chapters that will hopefully smooth it out. And I disagree. He was not manipulative or cunning. Everything was Madara and Zetsu. He was just their attack dog. Zetsu's goal was to help Kaguya collect the world's chakra and take it over. As far as he's concerned if she isn't draining the chakra of everything everywhere something's wrong with her head. Since Sasuke hates Naruto and Naruto's the one messing with Kaguya's head it makes sense Sasuke would be his new target. And don't worry about Kumo. I am going to avoid protagonist centered morality. I always hated that about Naruto, even before it started sucking.

TheUndashingOne: I have counterpoints but I'm not going to waste my breath. The fact you posted the same thing multiple times tells me you're less interested in providing feedback and more interested in attempting to annoy me. That and several of your complaints were so inaccurate I can't help but feel you skimmed everything instead of actually reading it.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. The disclaimer from chapter 1 applies here. If I did the sequel would be an actual sequel not ten chapters of character bashing to pander to the dying base.

=XXX=

A pair of lips gently kissing her neck pulled Kushina out of dreamland. She gave a small moan as a hand reached around and gave her breast a firm squeeze.

"Naruto," she sleepily groaned. "It's too early. Cut it out." She moaned again as her earlobe was lightly bitten and chewed on.

"Sorry." Naruto grunted. "I'll stop." Kushina was slightly annoyed that the hand still hadn't left her breast before her half asleep brain began piecing things together. How had Naruto talked while her ear was in his mouth? Why was his voice coming from in front of her? And when did he get such luscious breasts? As her brain processed the last question her eyes shot open. Seeing Naruto in front of her, his hands nowhere near her chest, she did what any woman would do in that situation. She screamed.

"AAAHHHHH!" she screeched as she began violently kicking in every direction. Naruto jumped up at the sound and turned just in time to take a heel to the nose.

"What the hell's going on?" Naruto asked as he held his sore nose. Kushina was wrapped up in the blankets with her face almost as red as her hair. A pair of long shapely legs were hanging over the edge of the bed. With a groan Mei sat up, rubbing her cheek.

"You know I really don't think the kicking was necessary." she said as she stood up, revealing herself to be as naked as the Uzumaki duo.

"I do!" Kushina yelled. "Why the hell would you sneak into here, undress, and start groping me in my sleep?" Mei nervously giggled.

"Well I was just checking up on you to see how things went last night. I was going to leave right after. Honestly." she said. "But the two of you were so cute snuggled up together and I started getting horny. And with what's going to happen soon we aren't going to have a lot of time together and last night Konan said if I want to try something I should just go for it."

"W-w-what are you trying to say?" Kushina asked. Mei blushed and poked her fingers together. Neither made eye contact with the other.

"I was wondering if maybe perhaps you might want to have a threesome?" she mumbled very quickly. For a few seconds a deafening silence filled the room. Suddenly Kushina jumped up and began gathering up her clothes, her blush somehow getting brighter. "You know a simple 'no' would be fine. You don't have to run away like I have the plague." Kushina slowed her dressing.

"I'm not avoiding you." she said. "I'm just not really sure how exactly to respond to something like that." Mei smiled before walking over to Naruto and pulling him over to the bed.

"It's simple." she said as she climbed over Naruto. "Are you interested in joining us? Yes or no? Because I'm going to enjoy him no matter what." She kissed Naruto who kissed back before looking at Kushina.

"Sorry if this is making you uncomfortable." he said. "We can stop if you want." Mei gave a groan that said exactly what she thought about that. Kushina smiled and waved.

"Don't be silly, it's fine." she insisted. "You two enjoy yourselves. I have preparations to make for today." Naruto could tell she wanted to say more but was cut off by Mei flipping them over so he was on top of her.

"You heard her. She doesn't want to play." Mei said as she reached down to rub his growing erection. "So that leaves more time for us before you have to run off." Naruto kissed her deeply as he slid inside of her.

"I've missed this so much." she moaned. "It's been so long." Naruto wanted to point out that they had just been together yesterday but was distracted by her licking his ear. With a groan Naruto sat up and pulled Mei into his lap. Mei moaned in delight and kissed from his ear to his mouth. Their tongues battled with each other before Mei let out a giggle. Before Naruto could ask what was so funny he felt another pair of arms wrap around him. Looking over his shoulder he saw Kushina, naked, looking extremely embarrassed. "So, decided to join us?"

"Shut up." Kushina said. "You two moaning got me all horny. And since you're so eager to do it I figure you two can fix it." Mei and Naruto shared a look that told them how much they believed that. But neither said anything, not wanting to scare Kushina away. Naruto leaned back and began kissing Kushina while resuming his thrusts into Mei.

"Yeah, just like that." Mei whispered as she rocked her hips. She moaned as Naruto turned and began kissing her neck. Seeing Kushina staring at her nervously, she smiled and put her hand on Kushina's chin. Locking eyes they leaned forward before slowly, uncertainly, their lips met. After a few awkward seconds the kiss began to deepen. Mei reached up to grab the back of Kushina's head, holding her in place as her tongue slipped into the redhead's mouth. Kushina didn't resist, her tongue rising up to coil around Mei's. Eventually the need for air became too great and they were forced to separate. "Now that wasn't so bad was it?" Kushina couldn't disagree.

"I suppose not." She said, still trying to downplay how much she was enjoying it. Seeing Naruto's thrusts increase in speed she smiled and licked his ear. "Seems we're not the only ones who enjoyed it." she teased. Naruto kissed her again.

"I just got to watch two of the most beautiful women in the world make out. Why wouldn't I enjoy it?" he said. Mei tightened around him causing him to groan. "Fuck, I'm close." Mei licked his other ear.

"Hurry up and cum." she whispered. "I can't wait to watch you fuck your mother." Her words lit a fire under both Uzumaki. Kushina grabbed her hips and began pulling her back against Naruto's thrusts, while Naruto began massaging her breasts. "Come on! Give it to me!" With one last grunt Naruto slammed into her, cause her to scream as her filled her up. "Mmm… that's nice."

"Naruto certainly aims to please." Kushina said. Naruto kissed her again before turning and pulling her into his lap. She moaned as Naruto slid into her while Mei gave her breasts a squeeze.

"That's it." Mei said. "Pound your mother's pussy." Both Uzumaki moaned at her words. Naruto buried his face in Kushina's breasts while Mei pulled her into another kiss. The redhead moaned into the kiss as Naruto bit her nipple.

"Shit I'm cumming" Kushina moaned. Naruto moved to pull out of her when he suddenly found himself being forced back into her. Looking down he saw Mei was gripping her hips as she pushed his body forward.

"Wait Mei!" he said. "Kushina doesn't want me cumming in her. Let me go before I… FUCK!" Kushina's climax set of Naruto and he filled her with his cum. She moaned in pleasure before doing her best to glare at Mei. Mei laughed at the extremely nonthreatening look on her face.

"Oh relax." she said. "I have some anti-pregnancy pills you can take." Kushina began muttering to herself about 'not wanting to risk it' when she suddenly found herself pinned underneath Mei. "Relax." she repeated. "Just trust me." She resumed kissing the redhead, who quickly got into it. Without Naruto in between them she could feel every curve of Mei's body as it pressed against her. It wasn't long before Kushina was panting and moaning as Mei turned and pulled her onto all fours. Looking back she saw Naruto watching them intently, his dick still standing proudly. With a smile Mei ran her hand down Kushina's back before gently spreading her ass.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?!" Kushina screamed as she pulled away. Mei laughed and got in the same position next to her.

"Last night Konan was talking about how much she enjoyed Naruto fucking her ass." she said. "I figured if you're that worried about getting pregnant you might enjoy an alternative." Seeing Kushina wasn't convinced Mei reached back and spread her own ass. "If she doesn't want to try, you can enjoy my ass." Naruto moved forwards and began rubbing their butts. Kushina gave a pleased sigh before raising her ass up.

"Just… please be gentle." she said nervously. Naruto rubbed his dick against her leaking pussy before pushing the head into her ass. Kushina gave a squeak of pain and tried to pull away. Naruto kissed her shoulder and whispered into her ear.

"Kushina you need to relax." Taking several deep breaths she slowly began pushing back. Naruto held perfectly still, letting her set the pace. Mei tried to distract her by squeezing her breasts and kissing her again. Soon Naruto was completely buried in her backdoor.

"I'm not sure I like this." she said. It wasn't painful anymore, but she still wasn't seeing the appeal. Naruto brushed her hair aside to look at her face.

"I can stop if you want." he offered. She shook her head and slowly began rocking back and forth. Naruto gently rolled his hips in time with her movements. After several thrusts she increased her speed.

"I guess this isn't so bad." she said. She moaned as a hard thrust hit her deeper. She noticed Mei smiling in the corner of her eye as the Mizukage pulled on her nipples. Kushina reached back and pushed a finger into her ass, pulling a yelp from the leader. "Wipe that grin off your face. You just wanted me to go first so you could back out if it looked unpleasant."

"Maybe…" she replied, her grin never leaving her face. "Here, let me make it up to you." She began fingering Kushina as Naruto began to moving at a faster pace.

"Oh fuck!" she screamed as her and Mei both increased the speed of their fingering. Feeling Naruto swell inside her she looked over her shoulder and seductively licked her lips. "Go on baby. Fill mommy's ass with your cum."

"Shit!" Naruto grabbed her hips and slammed into her until he exploded into her ass. Kushina arched her back and screamed as she soaked Mei's fingers. Mei licked her fingers clean while Naruto and Kushina kissed deeply. Mei shook her hips back and forth.

"You're still good to go right?" she asked. "I don't want Kushina having all the fun." The redhead rolled her eyes and removed her hand from Mei's backside as Naruto pulled out of her and moved behind Mei. Thanks to Kushina's fingering he easily slid into her. The blonde began fondling her chest as he set a quick pace inside her.

"Ahh… this is nice." she moaned. "I'll have to do this more often." Naruto pulled her up against his chest, both of them groaning as her grip on him increased.

"Which part?" he whispered in her ear. "Me fucking your ass or another woman watching us?" Mei's response was cut off by Kushina kissing her. She threw her head back as Kushina took a nipple in her mouth.

"Can't I have both?" she panted as Naruto kissed her neck. Kushina bit her nipple while staring up at her.

"Let's get one thing straight." she said. "I have no intention of making this a regular thing." Mei began to pout, but before she could complain Kushina began fingering her in time with Naruto's thrusts. They resumed kissing as Mei began rocking back and forth between the Uzumaki duo.

"So good." she moaned as she pushed Kushina's face back to her chest while her other hand reached back to grab Naruto's ass. "I'm cumming. I'm cumming! I'M CUMMING!" she screamed while soaking Kushina's fingers, as Naruto exploded in her ass. Gasping for air Naruto fell back, pulling Mei and Kushina with him. Mei pulled herself off him before her eyes widened in shock as she looked down. "How are you still hard?" she asked as she slowly began to jerk him off. Before he could respond another hand joined Mei's.

"Surely you've heard of the legendary Uzumaki vitality right?" Kushina asked. "You didn't think that just applied to chakra did you?" Naruto groaned as the two beauties began stroking him off. He gave both their asses a squeeze before sliding his fingers into their waiting pussies. The trio sloppily kissed until the pleasure became too much and they came all over each others hands. With a pleased sigh Mei began licking Naruto's cum from her fingers.

"Looks like your finally done." she said. "Though I don't mind waiting if you're up for a few more rounds." Naruto gave a disappointed sigh.

"I wish I could." he said sadly. "But I have other things that I need to do." Mei and Kushina frowned, knowing just how dangerous today would be for him. Mei grabbed his head and pulled him into a deep kiss.

"Promise me that you'll come back alive." she said as she stared into his eyes. "Please promise me that." Naruto kissed her again and gave her a reassuring smile.

"I promise that nothing bad will happen to me today and I will come back alive." Mei wanted to point out that his entire plan for today consisted of doing horrible things to himself, but decided not to ruin the moment. She nodded and kissed Naruto again, confident he would survive today.

=X=

She didn't think this morning could get any worse. She could barely see through the piercing light that burned her eyes. The voices of the people around her echoed through her head like nails on a chalkboard. Her stomach felt like some abomination from another world was about to claw its way out. But things did get worse. Her loud best friend showed up.

"Ino!" Sakura yelled as she chased her friend down the street. "Hey, Ino wait up! Ino!" The blond kunoichi whipped around and grabbed Sakura's shirt, glaring at her with bloodshot eyes.

"Sakura, I had a long night last night and right now I'm more than just a little hungover." she growled in a low whisper. "So could you quietly say what you need and then leave me the fuck alone?" Sakura's eyes widened in shock before she channeled healing chakra through her hands into Ino's head. The blond sighed in relief as the world became a little less awful. Healing chakra couldn't completely get rid of a hangover, but it certainly helped.

"Sorry about that." Sakura said softly. "I wasn't expecting you to be hungover. You aren't exactly one to go out drinking." Ino shrugged as she let go of the medic.

"The girls invited me out for a few drinks." she said. "I wanted to get to know them and I guess I went a little overboard. I hope they don't think I'm a drunk" she said with a cringe. Sakura tilted her head in confusion. Ever since Naruto had first asked her out Ino had been trying rather hard to impress Naruto and his girlfriends, even though she had barely noticed him before. Deciding to worry about that later she moved on to the reason for her visit.

"So speaking of girls, yesterday I was talking to Rin and she claimed one of when sleeping with Naruto was his own mother. Is that true?" Ino shrugged again.

"I don't know." she said. "Kushina wasn't with us last night. I'm assuming that's where she was since Konan and Mei already had turns with him." Seeing the look on Sakura's face Ino burst into laughter until her nausea came back, causing her to belch loudly. "I'm never drinking again."

"Ino you're telling me you aren't even a little weirded out by that?" Sakura asked while rubbing her back. "And are you sure you should be going to team training hungover like this?"

"Sakura I'm from a big ninja clan." Ino replied. "I have family members marry each other all the time. Sure they usually aren't as close as Naruto and Kushina, but honestly the 'multiple girlfriends' is weirder to me." Ino gave another smaller belch. "And I'm the only one on my team who takes training seriously. All I have to do is say I'm not feeling well and Asuma and Shikamaru will run off to take a nap or watch clouds or play whatever board game they're into at the moment while Choji brings the snacks."

"Oh really? That sounds like fun." The two turned around and saw Tsunade and Rin approaching. "Please do go on." Tsunade said.

"Lady Tsunade," Sakura said. "I thought that you were scheduled to be training with Hinata this morning." Tsunade smiled and held up a notebook.

"I am." She replied. "This is just a shadow clone." Turning back to Ino she held a pen to the paper. "Now please, tell me all about how your teammates blow off training." Ino cringed. She didn't want her friends to get in trouble, but she couldn't lie the the Hokage. She reluctantly began to spill her guts as Rin approached Sakura.

"Excuse me Sakura," Rin said. "I was wondering if I could borrow your services as a medic today?" Sakura nodded and followed after her.

"So what exactly do you need me for?" She asked. From what she had seen yesterday Rin was more or less on the same level as her, despite having no formal medical training. Rin groaned and rubbed her temple.

"Naruto has an insane scheme that he says will help keep us safe." she said. "And if we're going to keep him alive through it we need all the medical help we can get." Sakura blinked in confusion but decided to save her questions for Naruto directly. Just what the hell had happened these past 3 years?

=X=

Hinata carefully read the scroll in front of her. She made note of the locations of all the important bones and blood vessels. Looking up she activated her Byakugan and began noting their locations on Tsunade. Tsunade had proposed that since her Byakugan was too weak to see chakra points she could instead combine it with the strength of one hundred technique to cause massive internal damage. Hinata had protested that it wouldn't look good for the Hyuga heiress to learn someone else's fighting style before she learned her clan's style. Tsunade had pointed out it wouldn't look good for the heiress to abandon her clan to go chasing after a childhood crush. Hinata had been annoyed by the answer but didn't push it. Growing tired of the silence that had settled over them she spoke up.

"So Lady Tsunade," she began. "Where were those two shadow clones headed to? And why did you hand one a notebook?" Normally the memories from a shadow clone would be enough.

"Well I gave one a notebook because I wanted to be absolutely sure about what I suspect. That shadow clone is currently asking your classmates about their relationships with their teachers." Hinata frowned remembering their first day of training. Tsunade had started by asking her what Kurenai had taught he, but the questions had slowly become more personal. How often did she see her outside of training? What was her relationship like with her other students? "And the other one is going to finalize the alliance between us, Ame, Kiri, and Suna. All things considered we don't have time to put it on paper, but thanks to Naruto I don't see them betraying us anytime soon." Hinata lit up at that.

"He certainly has a way of changing people for the better." she said. She shuddered thinking back to the chunin exams. Gaara had been a monster, killing everything in his path just for the fun of it. But after Naruto had knocked some sense into him he had worked hard to make amends and was now the most beloved Kazekage of all time. That's why she needed Naruto to be with her. With his help she would have no problem uniting the branches of her family.

"Though I'm not entirely sure we can trust Nagato." Tsunade said. "Gaara is Naruto's best friend, and Mei's sleeping with him so I doubt she'll betray him. But yesterday Nagato seemed really tense around him. I think she's jealous that Naruto's sleeping with her second in command. Though who she's jealous of I can't say." Hinata blinked in confusion.

"Umm… Lady Tsunade what do you mean by that?" she asked. "Naruto's over Sakura and just started dating other girls. Didn't he?" Tsunade gave a dismissive snort.

"Oh please." she said. "Without a doubt he's sleeping with the Mizukage and Konan. Plus one of the seven swordsmen and his own mother." she cringed at the last part. She wanted Naruto to be happy, but that was still really weird. Hinata stared at her until her brain finally connected the dots.

"HE WHAT!"

=X=

Sakura shivered as she and Rin approached the creepy run down shrine. Something about this place just screamed at her to run away as fast as she could. Judging from the way Rin gripped her sword she wasn't doing much better. Entering the shrine they saw Naruto, Karin, and Kushina staring at a wall covered in nightmarish masks with an ancient sword sitting beneath them.

"And that one makes you constantly hallucinate your greatest fear." Kushina said with a creepy giggle. Naruto and Karin both took a step away.

"Yeah, these things sure sound dangerous. I can see why nobody ever messed around with this place." Naruto said. Noticing the medics entering his smile lit up. "Hey Sakura! Thanks for coming." Sakura did her best to smile back.

"No problem Naruto." she said. "Hello Karin. Uhh… hello Kushina" She began nervously looking back and forth between the duo. Noticing the look on her face Naruto quickly tried to distract her.

"So once we begin the ritual I'm counting on you to keep me alive." he said. "Because I'm not going to be able to heal." Sakura's eye's widened in horror. During the mission to retrieve Sasuke he had gotten two holes through his chest and had barely slowed down. What the hell was he about to do?

"Naruto, what exactly are you planning on doing that requires you have three medics here?" Sakura asked.

"Well, because of how Kurama was sealed in me I only have the yang half of his chakra." Naruto began. "As you know, unless you separate them for a technique, yin and yang chakra naturally mix in your body. But for the Biju it's different. Their bodies are chakra. The reason they're so hard to hurt is because their bodies are basically made of healing yang chakra. The flip side is the yin chakra of their minds is just as exposed. It takes a powerful genjutsu to hypnotize them, but once you do it's almost impossible for them to break out." Sakura's eyes widened in understanding.

"So basically you're so overloaded with yang chakra that it takes almost nothing to hypnotize you." she said. Naruto nodded.

"Exactly. Kurama's yang chakra latches onto any yin chakra that enters his system. So he is very easy to hypnotize, meaning I'm very easy to hypnotize. And given what happened the last time a jinchuriki was hypnotized I'd rather take away that possibility." he said. "The problem is as the two halves of Kurama merge I won't be able to use either of their chakras. And getting the yin half back is going to be very painful." Kushina and Rin gave sad sighs before they stepped forward.

"Let's just do this." Kushina said. Holding up her arm a large red snake slithered from her sleeve and grabbed one of the masks in its mouth. Dropping it in Kushina's hand it slithered up to her face, where she smiled and kissed it. "Good girl Miia. You get a treat later." Naruto watched Kushina bond with her new summons before she reluctantly came over and handed him the mask. Naruto took a deep breath and put it on. Instantly the feeling of dread in the back of Sakura's mind exploded. She watched in terror as a ghastly abomination appeared behind Naruto. It copied his movements as he picked up the sword sitting beneath the masks. Before Sakura could ask what he was doing he plunged the sword into his stomach and ripped it open.

"NARUTO!" she screamed as a crimson waterfall began flowing from his stomach. Ignoring the screaming monster that had also cut itself, revealing four floating orbs, she ran up to Naruto and began trying to heal him. To her horror something blocked the healing. Looking up she saw Karin had placed an arm in his mouth and was force-feeding him chakra, while Rin had placed his legs in Samehada's mouth and was channeling biju chakra into him. "Come on Naruto." she whispered as she continued to try and heal him. "Please don't die on me. Please." Naruto groaned weakly as he stared at the orbs.

"Which one is it?" he whispered. "Which one?" His eyes locked onto one of the orbs. "There!" Holding out his arm a tendril of chakra grabbed the orb and absorbed it. With a weak smile Naruto passed out.

=X=

"Well hello there sexy." a deep voice rumbled. "Long time no see." Naruto groaned as he sat up. Even in his mind his stomach burned with an unnatural pain. He weakly stood up and saw the two halves of Kurama sitting across from each other.

"Can you please stop checking yourself out?" Naruto asked. "That's just….. weird." Kurama laughed and the two halves linked tails and began merging. Shaking his head he walked over to the twisted remains of the gate that once held Kurama back. Sitting on top was a torn scrap of paper with the word "Seal" written on it. Holding up the glowing orb he pressed it into the paper. The orb glowed brightly, growing in size and changing shape before fading. Standing before him was Minato Namikaze, the Fourth Hokage who some would consider the greatest ninja of his generation. He also happened to be Naruto's father and by extension the guy who's wife he was sleeping with. This was going to get awkward.

"Hey there Naruto," he said with a big grin. "How's it going?" He ruffled Naruto's hair as he looked around his mindscape. "You've certainly made a mess of the seal. But then again you've been doing a lot of insane and unexpected things this past year." Naruto nervously laughed and scratched his head.

"Well being unexpected is the best thing a ninja can do." he said. "So exactly how much of my life have you seen?" Minato gave a little shrug.

"Only bits and pieces after your meeting with the sage." he said. "The seal was never never meant for me to be able to observe the outside world. Then again I wasn't expecting you to rescue my soul from the shinigami's stomach either." Minato smile slowly faded. "Naruto am I a horrible person?" Naruto's eyes widened in shock at the unexpected question.

"What? No! Why would you even ask something like that?" Minato gave a sad sigh as he sat on the remains of the seal.

"Well if you were self-centered and petty you'd probably blame me for all your problems in life." Naruto frowned wondering what kind of idiot would think like that. "But really it is my fault. Maybe if I had been a better teacher. Maybe then Kakashi wouldn't have had problems working with others. Maybe Obito wouldn't have turned into such a horrible person. Maybe…" Minato's train of thought was derailed by Naruto's fist smashing into his face.

"Don't you ever have a thought that stupid again!" Naruto shouted. "You can't possibly be held responsible for Obito being an asshole. The world's screwed me over a lot but I never took it out on people who had nothing to do with it then expected everyone to feel sorry for me. Nobody's perfect and I'm sure you have done a lot of stupid stuff you should feel bad about. But Obito's the one who decided to ignore everything you taught him. Kakashi's the one who didn't realize how great his team was until it was too late. Those are their problems and you aren't responsible for their actions." Minato rubbed his nose and gave a sad smile.

"Yeah, I suppose you're right." he said. "But what about you?" Naruto tilted his head in confusion. "You seem rather hellbent on bringing Sasuke back." Naruto nodded in understanding.

"I know. It's just….." he tried to find the right words. "It feels like the right thing to do." Seeing Minato's face he continued. "I mean, sure. With how strong I am I could probably kill him, but that wouldn't prove I was right and he was wrong. It just proves I'm stronger than him. Plus Obito ruined everyone's lives and got away with no punishment whatsoever. I don't think Sasuke should get away that easy. Plus maybe a nice punishment will help him get his head out of his ass."

"Hmm… I suppose I can see your point." Minato said. Noticing that his hand was fading away he stood up and pulled Naruto into a hug. "I'm proud of you Naruto. Keep doing what you're doing and I'm sure there'll be nothing you can't do." Naruto smiled and returned the hug.

"Thanks dad." he said. "That really means a lot coming from you." He wiped some stray tears from his eyes.

"I only said it because I meant it." Minato said as he continued to fade. "Well, it looks like my time's up. But I have one last bit of advice before I go." Naruto nodded eager for advice from the Fourth Hokage. So he was shocked when Minato grabbed the front of his shirt and gave him a glare that could scare a biju. "Don't you ever upset Kushina or Rin or else." Naruto nodded at the unspoken threat as Minato smiled happily again and set him down. "I'm glad we had this talk. Say 'Hi' to Rin for me. You two make a cute couple." With that Minato faded away, leaving behind a very confused Naruto.

=X=

Naruto groaned as he slowly opened his eyes. The bland white ceiling of the hospital greeted him. The rhythmic beep of a heart monitor filled his ears.

"Well, I guess I survived." he said blankly. He weakly sat up his stomach protesting the entire way. Before he could look around he was tackled back to the bed.

"Naruto!" Looking down he saw a mop of brown hair resting on his chest. He gently began stroking Rin's hair.

"It's ok." he said. "I'm not going anywhere. I still have to become Hokage after all." Rin pulled away and kissed Naruto's cheek.

"I was so scared." she said. "We healed your stomach but you wouldn't wake up no matter what we did. Why do you have to be so stupid and reckless?" Naruto smiled and cupped her cheek.

"Hey me being stupid and reckless is how we started dating." he said. Rin rolled her eyes but couldn't stop herself from smiling. "By the way, Dad says 'Hi' and thinks we make a cute couple." Rin blushed.

"Oh, so sensei knows about us?" Naruto nodded. "So how did he take you and Kushina?" Naruto's face scrunched up in confusion.

"That's the thing." he said. "He didn't mention it at all, then out of nowhere right before he left he warned me not to upset either of you. What does that mean? He's cool with us. Right?" Rin laughed at the confusion on Naruto's face.

"I think he said that right as he left specifically to confuse you." she said. "I think master pranker Naruto Uzumaki just got pranked." Naruto's mouth opened and closed several times before he settled on pouting.

"Well if you're done laughing at my expense am I cleared to leave the hospital?" Rin nodded so Naruto jumped out of bed and started getting dressed. "Well since it's your last day in Konoha may I take you on a date?" Rin smiled and hefted Samehada over one arm while the other grabbed Naruto and dragged him away.

=X=

Tsunade rubbed her temples in annoyance. After Hinata had learned that Naruto was't playing the field and was in fact in the middle of building a harem she had completely flipped out and stormed off. Knowing that it was pointless to try and train with her on the verge of snapping she had left to attend the meeting in person. Halfway there her other clone had returned with the notes she was supposed to collect. Now she had two problems to deal with.

"And with the extra troops from Suna we can keep Iwa and Taki away from Ame." Nagato said as she stared at the map. "Of course them unleashing their jinchuriki could quickly turn that around."

"That shouldn't be too much of a problem if Naruto's there." Tsunade said not noticing Nagato twitch in annoyance. "What I'm curious about is Oto's strength." The others looked at each other.

"That's tough to say." Mei said. "They attacked one of the five great villages and even took out two of their own during the attack. They basically announced to the world that they're strong enough that they don't mind killing off an S-rank nin or two."

"Given that level of confidence it's hard to say where exactly they sit strength wise." Gaara said. "Though by killing Deidara and Kakuzu they've secured the loyalty of most civilians and low ranking ninja in Iwa and Taki." Tsunade growled in frustration.

"And that's on top of whatever forces Orochimaru had." she said. "Lucky us Karin was able to put a dent in that information." She looked over the sheet of paper in her hands. "So we can all agree on these troop rotations and movements?"

"Yes." Nagato said. "Though all it'll take is one large battle to completely throw this schedule off. Wars tend to be a bit unpredictable."

"Well hopefully Naruto has some people on the other said." Mei said. Nagato twitched again. "It isn't perfect but hopefully it'll turn things in our favor." Everyone sighed knowing how bad the next few months would get. Tsunade stared at her notebook knowing that for her tomorrow wasn't going to be very pleasant either.

=XXX=

Rin gave a pleased sigh as she leaned against Naruto's arm while he opened his door. The two of them had gone to the local barbecue, where they had continued talking about Minato. Rin had shared several stories about being on a team with him which Naruto had found very interesting. Of course he had to quickly change the topic when Obito came up and she got depressed. Luckily talking about her new life in Kiri seemed to distract her. Especially when she started talking about how much easier collecting shells was living on an island instead of the middle of the forest.

"Welcome to my humble little home." Naruto said. "It's really nothing special, but it works for what I need it for. Which is mainly just sleeping." Rin laughed as she looked around before pulling Naruto into a kiss.

"Thank you." she said. At Naruto's confused expression she continued. "You gave me a second chance at life, you helped me discover skills I never knew I had, and you showed me what it's like to fall in love." she kissed him again. "I just wish I didn't have to share you with a bunch of perverts." Naruto laughed.

"Well you're the one who gave me permission to have multiple girlfriends." he said. "All you have to do is say the word and I'll leave them." Rin shook her head.

"I'm not so cruel that I would force you to break up with them when they're so obviously in love with you." she said. "Besides, you say that, but we both know you could never actually leave them. You love them just as much as they love you." They moved to the bed where Naruto sat down and Rin climbed into his lap, setting Samehada down on the way. They kissed as she undid his jacket and pushed it off. They broke for air and pulled each others shirts off. Naruto removed Rin's bra exposing her small perky breasts. She threw her head back and moaned as he pulled her nipple into his mouth. She ran her hands over his muscles before climbing off his lap and onto her knees.

"Relax Rin," Naruto said as she practically ripped his pants off. "We have all night together." Rin ignored him and began pumping his dick while running her tongue over his chest. Feeling Naruto grow hard in her hands she licked her lips before slowly wrapping them around his head. She slowly took him into her mouth until her lips reached the base. She stared up at Naruto's eyes as she began licking his shaft. Naruto began to gently cup her cheeks. His eyes never left hers as his hands ran through her hair. He began pumping her head as she undid her pants and pushed them down. She moaned around his tool as she slowly ran her fingers over her slit. Naruto groaned and started moving his hips as well as Rin's head. Rin began masturbating with one hand as the other came up and began to fondle Naruto's balls. "Rin, I'm cumming." For the first time since they started they looked away from each other. Naruto threw his head back while Rin closed her eyes and enjoyed Naruto's taste. Holding Naruto's cum in her mouth she pulled her hand from her pussy and slowly sucked her fingers clean. Enjoying the taste of their mixed juices she sighed in pleasure.

"We taste delicious together." she said before kissing her way up his body. She pulled Naruto to his feet and resumed kissing him as he wrapped his arms around her petite frame. He turned to set her on the bed but she stopped him halfway. She backed up pulling Naruto with her until she was pressed against the wall at the foot of his bed. Rin kissed Naruto again as she lifted her right leg and pulled him closer. Naruto ran his hand up her thigh before grabbing her ass and gently pushing into her. They both moaned as they enjoyed being reconnected to the first person they had ever given themselves to.

"Fuck Rin, you must be desperate if you didn't even let me return the favor before we started." Rin wrapped her leg around Naruto tighter.

"Maybe we can sneak a quicky tomorrow." she said. Having previously teased herself to the edge, the thought of sneaking away from tomorrows meeting to have Naruto eat her out caused her to climax. Naruto slowed his thrusts as she rode out her orgasm. As her breathing returned to normal Naruto grabbed her other leg and held her in the air. She yelped and wrapped her arms around his neck as her resumed thrusting. "W…Wait… I just came." she moaned. "Stop! I'm still sensitive." Despite her words she tightened her legs grip on him and deeply kissed him. Her kisses moved down his neck and she began sucking his shoulder while he kissed her head.

"Rin, I'm getting close." he grunted as he squeezed her ass. Her only response was to start shaking her hips faster. One of Naruto's hands left her ass to grope her breast as he pounded her into the wall even harder. Rin held on tightly as her orgasm began rapidly approaching.

"I'm cumming." she squeaked. "I'm cumming, I'm cumming, I'm cumming!" Before she could stop herself she bit down on the hickey she made, her fangs sinking into Naruto's shoulder. The sudden pain caused Naruto to lose all control and her exploded deep inside Rin. Naruto leaned against the wall while Rin struggled to stand on her very weak knees.

"Hey Rin," Naruto said. "For future reference, I'm not Karin." Rin looked at his shoulder and although it had healed, it was very obvious she had broken the skin. She gently kissed it before looking up at Naruto.

"Sorry about that." she said. "I guess I got a little too excited." The two resumed their deep make-out session when Naruto suddenly picked her up and carried her bridal style to his bed. He laid her down and crawled next to her. The two jinchuriki held each other closely, their kisses getting softer and softer, until they fell asleep deep in each other's embrace.

=X=

HOLY SHIT! So in a plot twist nobody anywhere saw coming Kishimoto outright admitted that the only reason Naruto and Hinata got together was because Studio Pierrot offered him money. That's amazing. How often does a sellout outright admit to being a sellout? Of course this is also his 3rd or 4th story about why the series ended the way it did so who knows if it's actually true. Anyways, sorry this took so long. I ran into some real world problems that slowed everything down. Plus I'm not totally happy with how this chapter turned out. It went through several rewrites but it still feels really… meh. So I'm going to be on a brief hiatus as I work on my original stuff but it shouldn't take too long for three reasons. 1: I'm not working full time anymore. Good for you, bad for me. 2: I already know exactly what I'm writing for my original stuff so it shouldn't take too long. 3: I REALLY want to get to the next chapter of this. As of right now the introduction is 100% over. Now it gets good. Later.


	11. Old Teams New Leaders

You know what would be awesome, but will never happen because the admins never listen to us? Being able to blacklist stories. Like if I don't like a story I just hit an x next to the title and I never have to see it again. The author can still update, the people that like it can still read it, but I can just pretend it doesn't exist. Because there's quite a few stories I'd rather never see again. Mostly ones about how romantic abuse is. Anyway.

Naruto Sakura Uzumaki: You got it. Since nobody guessed the song reference from the other chapter and you're the only one who guessed the Monster Musume reference, you get the brain cookie. Give it to a cute monster girl on a date. Cute monster girls love brain cookies. Whatever that means.

Firebird Nigga: Fuck you asshole. You have nigga in your username. Don't you dare talk to me about disrespect!

Dragonjek: In order: You'll have to wait and see; Yes I'm aware I messed that up. I've added several scenes to the next few chapters that will hopefully smooth that out; The reason is because Naruto isn't as alone anymore. As a kid he would have told everyone that he had a cousin. Now he has a cousin, a mom, and several girlfriends. He isn't starving for outside recognition; And sorry for not making it totally clear. Naruto's thought were if all his allies go charging off to battle a lot of people will die. By presenting to be caught off guard, while working with people on the other side he can keep the fighting, and the deaths, to a minimum.

thor94: I know. There aren't enough of those. I may wright one someday. But for now this is my focus. Though in this case only Mei is bisexual. Kushina is into Mei, and a few other girls are curious, but right now Mei is the only one who's interested in women the way Naruto's interested in women.

T-B-R: No no no. That reaction is perfectly understandable. And I'm not sure if they outright offered him money or if they convinced him that The Last would make more money if NaruHina was canon, because they were going to make The Last a NaruHina movie no matter how the manga ended. Either way, when Kishimoto wrote the ending he was think less of the story he wrote and more of the check from Studio Pierrot he was about to cash.

MiseryWolf97: Yes, but to avoid spoilers I'd rather not say who. I can say I'm aiming for 8 girls total. I might add more depending on how the story unfolds, but 8 is what I'm aiming for.

ncpfan: Thank you. The begging of Naruto's relationship with Kaguya should show up in this chapter. Though I'll warn you it's going to take a while. Out of all the women I'm planning to include Naruto's relationship with Kaguya is currently the worst. Though to hold you over Nagato's plotline will become the focus in the near future.

Rangel: More or less. Naruto is basically what he was during the final battle, but scaled back so he isn't OP. Though I still think he's pushing it more than I'd like.

phenix rider: Right back at you buddy.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. The disclaimer from chapter 1 applies here. If I did I would have at least attempted basic math, as much as I hate it.

=X=

Naruto sighed as the knocking at his door became louder. When he had first woken up in Rin's arms he had been content just lying there with her. He had ignored the first few knocks, figuring whoever it was could talk to him later. But they had persisted and now Naruto was fairly sure they were getting ready to just let themselves in. Sitting up gently to avoid waking Rin he looked at the clothes scattered everywhere, trying to find his underwear. Unfortunately when he found them they were sitting underneath Samehada. He carefully grabbed what he could and pulled, but quickly let go when Samehada growled angrily at being disturbed.

"Of course my girlfriend gets the living sword with attitude." He muttered. Too tired to argue with the sword and being annoyed by the knocking again he walked over the his door and opened it, being sure to stand where he couldn't be seen. Waiting outside was an ANBU impatiently tapping his foot.

"A message from Lady Tsunade." He said in a very annoyed tone. Naruto took the scroll and the ANBU quickly left. Closing the door Naruto opened the scroll. As expected it was an announcement that all the ninja forces were having a meeting today. What surprised him was the second part telling him to report to Tsunade's office after. He figured any questions she still had could have been answered by Gaara, Nagato, or Mei. Shrugging to himself he set the scroll down and climbed back into bed with Rin.

"Good morning." She said as she pulled him into a hug and kissed his cheek. He smiled and returned the hug while kissing her forehead. His mouth traveled south and captured hers in a deep kiss. As they separated for air her brushed her hair out of her face.

"It probably would have been better if your sword wasn't using my underwear as a pillow." Rin sat up and stared at Samehada before turning back to Naruto.

"What's the problem?" She asked. "My underwear's right there. Just use that." Naruto blushed as he looked at the skimpy white panties lying on the floor. Naruto looked back at Rin and smiled nervously.

"Umm… I normally don't knock something before I try it, but maybe let's pass on the whole 'me wearing women's panties' thing." Rin smirked and kissed him again.

"Darn. I think you'd look cute in them." She said. She giggled at the weirded out expression on Naruto's face before pulling him into another kiss. "So how long before we have to get out of here?" she asked. Naruto looked up at his clock.

"About an hour." He said. "Which means we have half an hour to do whatever you want to do." Rin smiled and kissed him again before resting her head on his chest.

"I'd really like it if we could just lay here for a while. It's been forever since we just cuddled and we aren't going to have many opportunities in the near future. You don't mind do you?" Naruto kissed the top of her head and pulled her closer.

"We can stay as long as you like." He said. Rin smiled and relaxed as one of Naruto's hands rested on her back, while the other slowly stroked her hair. She kissed his chest and slowly inhaled his scent. She closed her eyes and imagined the day when they could stay like this all day.

=X=

Ino stared blankly ahead as she walked to Tsunade's office. When she had received a massage from the ANBU that morning she had figured that Tsunade was going to formally announce the alliance she had heard Konan and Mei talking about. However she had been rather shocked when she learned why the alliance was forming in the first place. Apparently a similar alliance had already formed for the purpose of destroying Konoha. Now everyone in the alliance was preparing for war. Ino shivered as the thought filled her mind. Sure she had felt with lots on bandits over the years, so she was no stranger to fighting. But going to war against trained ninja who were just as good, if not better than her? That thought terrified her. Entering Tsunade's office she was surprised to see several of her former classmates, along with several people she didn't recognize.

"Hey Naruto," She said as she approached her fellow blonde. "Do you have any idea what Lady Tsunade wants to talk to us about?"

"I have no clue." Naruto said with a shrug. "I'm assuming it will have something to do with the upcoming war but I honestly don't know." Ino sighed and nervously began rubbing her hands together. Naruto put a hand on her shoulder and gave her a comforting smile which she returned. His smile somewhat lessened when, over Ino's shoulder, he noticed Hinata glaring at them. Figuring she had finally heard the whole story about his love life he looked forward as Tsunade walked in and sat behind her desk.

"Thank you all for coming." She said. "As you know we are about to engage in a potentially massive war and we need everyone to be in top form. However I have recently been made away that several groups may not be living up to their full potential. First, Naruto Uzumaki and Sakura Haruno." The two stepped forward. "Given that both of you have received advanced training I am assigning you to a squad under Jiraiya along with your new teammate." She pointed to the pale boy standing in the corner.

"Hey it's the creepy artist guy!" Naruto said with a wave. "I hope there's no hard feelings about Danzo's death." The artist gave a very creepy smile in response.

"Of course not. Animosity of any kind will do nothing to bring Lord Danzo back to life, so it does nothing to help in my mission to make him Hokage. Besides it was Lady Nagato who killed him, not you. You just stood there doing nothing." Naruto's eye twitched.

"Well I help fight off all you ROOT goons while Nagato killed him." He said. "I had already promised her that she could kill him because of their history together, but either way he was going to die." The boy tilted his head in confusion.

"How small is your dick if you're letting a woman order you around?" He asked. "Would you be offended if I called you dickless?" Naruto and Sakura snarled in rage at what he was implying, but managed to hold themselves back from killing him. Naruto reminded himself that even though several former ROOT members had been cleared for duty in Konoha's forces, they were still emotionally, socially, and possibly mentally stunted. He probably had no idea what he just said was wrong. Sakura simply couldn't hit him with how many people were in between them.

"Moving on!" Tsunade snapped. "Asuma, since your team is the least screwed up I'm going to give you one chance. Explain what exactly you were thinking in training your team. Because according to Choji and Ino you regularly blew off training to play shogi with Shikamaru. Whenever you did bother to train them it usually consisted of rehearsing the various Ino-Shika-Cho moves they'd learned. Explain!" Ino cringed. While training with Asuma was sometimes frustratingly easy she hadn't wanted to get him in trouble.

"The efficiency of the Ino-Shika-Cho formations have been proven repeatedly in the past." Asuma said. "I didn't want to throw them off trying to teach them something they might not be skilled at. It's not like we were at war or anything." He immediately knew that was the wrong thing to say.

"Well now we are at war and your team is woefully undertrained." She said. "However, given that I believe they could all benefit from learning your speciality you may continue training them. But I will be watching, and if they don't improve you'll be receiving more than just a lecture." Asuma nodded and decided not to ask what that meant. "Now then, Kurenai. Effective immediately your students will be trained by our newest Jonin, Anko Mitarashi."

"What? Why?" Kurenai asked, while Anko cheered and spun in circles. Tsunade sighed and rubbed her head. Since her curse mark was no longer scrambling her chakra control Anko's skills had taken a leap forward. But since her body was still adjusting to her new chakra level she had spent the last few days on a chakra rush that was making her act like a five year old. Luckily it would wear off soon.

"After speaking to, and training one of your students, I've determined that your style of babying them isn't helping." Tsunade said. "They need someone to push them forward not sit them down and tell them to let someone else handle it. Especially Hinata. At least Kiba and Shino failed before you told them not to try so hard. You started telling Hinata to take it easy every time she ever started." Kiba decided he'd heard enough at this point.

"Hey take that back!" He said. "I never said any of those things. Besides Hinata's a lot stronger now than when we first started. Tell her Hinata." He expected Hinata to instantly back him up. Instead she glared at him out of the corner of her eye and growled.

"Perhaps," She said slowly. "But these past few days have shown that it's in my best interest to learn from multiple teachers." Kurenai hung her head, sad that Hinata wasn't coming to her defense. Kiba was about to continue complaining when a pair of arms wrapped around him.

"What's wrong little puppy?" A sensual voice hissed in his ear. "Don't want to learn for one of the best trackers Konoha has to offer?" A long thin tongue began running over his cheek. Kiba yelped and tried to get away as Tsunade sighed.

"As she said, Anko is our best tracker outside of your clans." Tsunade said. "Your team was originally meant to be a tracking team, so the fact you know nothing besides your clan specific basics is disappointing." Tsunade looked at her notes and knew this was going to be the biggest headache of all. "Might Guy, your team is being transferred to Kakashi's leadership, and until you have proven yourself any future teams you take will be supervised." Unsurprisingly all of Team Guy immediately and loudly protested. Of course Lee protested loudest.

"Lady Tsunade what has sensei done to deserve such an unyouthful punishment?" He shouted. Tsunade glanced from Lee to his female teammate.

"Tenten do you remember when I had you show me your chakra level yesterday?" The bun-haired girl nodded in confusion. "Do you realize that within your age group your chakra reserves are second only to Naruto's in size?" Tenten's eyes widened in shock. "Now has Guy trained you in anyway to take advantage of that?"

"Well sensei is a taijutsu expert," She said. "So most of his training has focused on that." From the look on her face Tsunade already knew the answer to her next question.

"Did you actually receive any of that training? Or did you just watch Lee and do you best to copy him?" Tenten lowered her head sadly. "There are numerous way of using chakra to enhance taijutsu, and I'm willing to bet you don't know a single one." Tenten slowly shook her head. "Tenten, you could easily be a ninjutsu expert on the same level as Kakashi. You're wasting your potential by throwing sharp things at your opponents had hoping the sharp end hits them."

"Lady Tsunade, please understand," Guy said. "Given Lee's unique circumstances he required a specialized curriculum. Besides, Neji is a jonin. He didn't get there by himself."

"No he didn't." Tsunade agreed. "He got there because Hiashi took him under his wing after he accidentally recreated several secret Main Branch techniques while teaching himself." she emphasized the last part. Realizing the conversation was excluding one of the people it should have involved Tsunade looked at Kakashi, who was staring blankly at his book. "Kakashi do you have anything to add?" The cyclops gave a halfhearted grunt without looking up. Tsunade sighed and said "Focus Kakashi! I get that you're upset to find out Obito went insane but right now we have more important things to worry about."

"Easy for you to say." He droned out. "At least when your loved ones die they have the decency to stay dead." The room went silent as everyone stared in horror at Kakashi. Tsunade glared at him as she slowly pulled three chunin vests out from under he desk.

"Naruto, Haku, and Karin, you're all probationary chunin. Haku and Karin your new team is over there." She said as she pointed to the two women who had been standing off to the side. "Now everybody except Kakashi, get the hell out!" Naruto grabbed the vests and everyone scrambled to the door as fast as they could. Their complaints could wait until Tsunade was less enraged. "Now listen up Kakashi," she growled. "You were selected to replace Guy because you're the best choice, but you're not the only one. You're always talking about not abandoning your comrades. Well right now those three need you to train them. Now I expect you to train all three of them to the best of your abilities. Understood?"

"Whatever." Kakashi said as her turned to leave. Tsunade growled, but unless Kakashi failed to train them there wasn't much she could do. It wasn't illegal to badmouth the Hokage's dead relatives. Reaching into a drawer she grabbed a bottle of sake and began drinking. She was glad Naruto had made her younger. She didn't think she'd be able to handle this otherwise.

=X=

At on of Konoha's many training grounds, Jiraiya was learning his new team's dynamics. The ex-ROOT, named Sai, was clearly meant to collect intelligence. He could summon animals made of ink for spying, though some of the more dangerous animals could be used to fight. But beyond the basics of every subject, plus some above average kenjutsu, he was rather lacking. Though that was to be expected. Danzo wouldn't be happy if one of his drones became too powerful. Sakura, besides being a skilled medic, had also mastered Tsunade's super strength technique. This made her extremely dangerous with taijutsu, plus she knew several chunin rank ninjutsu and genjutsu. Now all that was left was to find out what Naruto knew.

"Well let's see," Naruto said. "Turns out I have a wind affinity. I managed to pick up a few techniques from Suna. Thanks to the chakra links with the Biju I have limited access to magnet, lava, and boil release. Theoretically I can use more advanced abilities by drawing more of their chakra, but trying to balance their chakra with Kurama's is a real pain. The toads have been helping me work on taijutsu and genjutsu, but I'll admit they really aren't my strong suits. Oh, and they've been trying to teach me senjutsu, but it's not going well."

"Really?" Jiraiya said as he shook his head. "With everything you've done that I'd have thought of as impossible, and senjutsu is what gives you problems?" Naruto scratched the back of his head.

"Actually I think it's because everything that I'm having a hard time with it." Seeing Jiraiya's confusion he tried to think of a way to describe it. Remembering his rasengan training he smiled. "Think of it this way. Your body's a balloon. When you put air in it gets bigger. If you put in too much it pops. But if the balloon is full of holes it deflates. I can enter sage mode, but the chakra links mean the nature chakra bleeds away a lot faster than it normally would." Jiraiya nodded as he inspected his new team.

"Alright, I can work with this." He said. "First off, Sai. I want you to start doing taijutsu warmups. Your ninjutsu is impressive, but as soon as you're out of ink you're completely defenseless."

"As you wish." Sai said with his creepy dead smile. Jiraiya hoped that Naruto would be able to get Sai to open up. This team would be really hampered otherwise.

"Now Sakura," He said, pulling a scroll from his pocket. "I know Tsunade doesn't want you getting hurt, because you can't heal anyone if you're down. I would prefer you didn't need to heal them because you didn't let them get hit." Sakura opened the scroll and saw several high level genjutsu. "Normally I wouldn't start you at genjutsu of this level, but given what I've heard about your chakra control, I think you can handle it."

"Thank you very much." She said with a bow. She began reading, determined not to be left behind again. She thought back to Naruto bandaged up in the hospital, injured because she had been too weak to do anything. She never wanted anything like that to ever happen again.

"Naruto, I've saved the best for last with you." Naruto's eyes lit up with excitement. "For your training, you're to tell me how to get a harem of my own!" Naruto and Sakura both scowled before Naruto's turned into his 'prank grin'.

"No problem," He said. "The first thing you should know is: if you have to ask, it's never going to happen. Now please focus on training us like you're supposed to before I tell Tsunade." Jiraiya began crying and muttering about how cruel Naruto was. Sakura shook her head and sighed, though she couldn't stop herself from smiling. Sai blinked in confusion. How was helping Jiraiya get a harem supposed to make Naruto a better ninja?

=X=

Anko licked her lips as she looked at her new team. Hinata was a mixture of excitement and annoyance. Kiba seemed torn between checking out Anko and being scared at what she might do if she caught him checking her out. And Shino was Shino.

"So kiddies, apparently Kurenai hasn't trained you to be very good trackers. Lucky for you, I'm among the best." Kiba frowned, growing tired of hearing people badmouth Kurenai.

"Oh really, and what do you know about tracking?" He asked. He suddenly found himself unable to move as a very large snake wrapped around him.

"I'll have you know snakes are some of the best trackers in the animal kingdom." Anko said. "They can see visible and inferred light, and their tongues can detect scent almost as well as a dog's nose." To punctuate her statement the snake's tongue flicked Kiba's ear.

"So what exactly are you planning on teaching us?" Hinata asked. Anko grinned and called her snake back. She was curious to see how Hinata would develop. Apparently the guy she was hot for had somehow gotten himself a harem and she felt if she became strong enough he'd dump all of them to be exclusively with her. Tsunade had wanted Anko to beat that out of her, but she was already training with Tsunade, so Anko figured she'd just watch and enjoy.

"Glad you asked." She said with an evil grin. "Bug boy, we need to get your taijutsu up. You're the biggest guy here, so the fact both of your teammates outclass you there is sad. Dog boy, your genjutsu is just awful. You can't always count on your partner to snap you out of it. White eyes, I know Tsunade is currently training you as well, so for now we're going to focus on ninjutsu. Now chop chop." Team eight quickly began doing warm-up exercises. "Don't get too tired." Anko warned. "Because later you're going to be tracking me without using a single clan technique."

=X=

"Alright, so Tsunade wants me to teach you my specialty." Asuma said as he lit his cigarette. "Well that shouldn't be too hard."

"Umm… sensei," Ino said with her hand raised. "What exactly is your specialty?" Ino looked embarrassed, but he noticed that Choji and Shikamaru were also curious. Asuma took a long drag off his cigarette and sighed.

"Maybe I have been a less than stellar teacher." He muttered to himself. "Well Ino, I specialize in a rather obscure art know as nintaijutsu. The idea is to use ninjutsu to enhance your taijutsu skills." This time Shikamaru raised his hand.

"But sensei, don't you fight using knives?" He asked. "That doesn't sound like taijutsu to me." Asuma gave a shrug, glad one of his students knew his fighting style.

"Yes but that was just the logical conclusion given my wind affinity." He said. "Now I know in the past we focused on your clan techniques while your ninjutsu was a fallback. But for now we're going to make your ninjutsu the focus of your training." He pulled three scrolls from his pocket; fire for Choji, earth for Shikamaru, and water for Ino. "And then we'll find a taijutsu style that goes with them."

=X=

Kakashi sighed as he stared at the memorial stone. He missed the old days when he could just come here and mope for a few hours before moving on with his day. Now it turned out the teammate he had spent his life trying to emulate was a bloodthirsty lunatic who had killed thousands of people just to make himself feel better about his problems. And the one he had felt endless guilt over killing was not only alive, but working for the people who had kidnapped her and dating his student. When had his life gotten so weird?

"Kakashi what are you doing here?" He turned and saw the very teammate he was just thinking about. "I thought you had been assigned a new team. Should you really keep them waiting?" he turned back to the stone.

"Sometimes I come here to think when I need to clear my head." He explained. Rin walked up next to him and from the look on her face she didn't completely believe him.

"Well don't wait too long." She said as she scanned the names before her. "There I am!" she said. Rin pulled a marker from her pocket and began blacking out her name. "Lady Tsunade said she was sending someone skilling in earth release to fix this later, but I thought I'd get a head start." she said. Kakashi grunted and continued staring at Obito's name. "And there you are." she said as a chisel blocked Kakashi's view. Rin smashed Obito's name several times before Kakashi grabbed her and pulled her away.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" He asked. Obito's name was damaged to the point that all that was left was the O- and -ha.

"I'm fixing a mistake." Rin said. "This memorial is for people who gave their lives protecting Konoha. Obito didn't do that. He gave his life trying to kill your student as revenge for taking away his genocidal puppet. That only person who would consider that helping Konoha is Danzo."

"Look Rin, I understand how you're feeling." Kakashi said. "I was upset to learn what Obito did as well. But spitting on his memory won't help." Kakashi jumped back as Rin pulled Samehada off her shoulder.

"You don't understand anything!" She said. "Obito was used to bring me back to life. I'm the one who has to live with his memories. Do you know how many times I've woken up from nightmares about gleefully slaughtering innocent people just to avenge my own memory? Do you know what it's like to not be sure if you might die because the jutsu that brought you back is totally unknown and could fail at any time? Do you know what it's like to live with the fear that at any moment you could potentially unleash your former teammate on the world? Tell me Kakashi, what do you understand?"

"Rin I'm….. I'm sorry." Kakashi said. Rin lowered her sword and went back to smashing Obito's name. Kakashi sighed, feeling like a real tool. His teammate had been given a second chance at life and he was pouting about how it affected him. He had never even considered that being resurrected might not be a wonderful experience for Rin. She finished smashing Obito's name and turned to face Kakashi.

"I'll never forget the good times we spent with Obito." Rin said. "But those memories do not justify turning a blind eye to all the horrible things he did. Just like it doesn't justify ignoring your new team. Now pull your head out of your ass and start living your life, or I'll come back here and feed you to Samehada. Got it?" Kakashi nervously nodded as she smiled and turned to walk away. Looking back at the stone Kakashi stared at the two blanked out names.

"I really have been a screw up these past few decades, haven't I?" He asked himself. He thought back to all the times he could have helped his team but let them slide. Then he thought about his new team who were off training themselves while he wasted time here. "Well, might as well start making things right." He headed off to train his new team. He had promised Obito he'd never abandon his comrades. He intended to keep that promise, even if Obito didn't.

=X=

"So apparently Lady Tsunade has decided that we're to be a new team." The purple haired swordswoman said. "I suppose we should introduce ourselves and our specialties. I'm Yugao Uzuki. I'm a former ANBU member and I specialize in ninjutsu and kenjutsu. Now you go."

"Umm… my name is Shiho." The messy haired blond with thick glasses said. "I'm a member of the cryptanalysis department and I specialize in genjutsu and ninjutsu. I'm not really sure why I'm here."

"My name is Karin. I'm a member of the Uzumaki clan and a former genin of Kusagakura." The bespectacled redhead said. "I suppose my skills are ninjutsu and medical techniques. I also want to learn fuinjutsu."

"It's a pleasure to meet you. I'm Haku. I'm the last member of the Yuki clan and the apprentice of Zabuza Momochi." The effeminate boy said. "I'm skilled in ninjutsu and medical techniques. I'm also skilled in kenjutsu, though it isn't my speciality."

"Hmm… I suppose I can work with you three." Yugao said. "For now we'll focus on coordinating your teamwork. Do your best to defeat me. I won't be holding back." She drew her sword and took her stance as her new students did the same.

=X=

Naruto wiped the sweat from his forehead. After finally getting Jiraiya to be serious they had spared using only taijutsu and genjutsu. They had been fairly evenly matched, but Jiraiya's genjutsu had slowly worn him down. Then Jiraiya had sparred with Sai while he had a genjutsu only spar with Sakura. He lost. Horribly. They had traded partners and Naruto had just finished destroying Sai at taijutsu. Now they were taking a break and discussing ninjutsu.

"So, Naruto, how's your rasengan coming along?" Jiraiya asked. Naruto grinned and a spiraling ball of chakra formed in his hand.

"I finally got it down." He said. "Plus I can use clones to add my wind element to it. But it sort of feels incomplete."

"That's strange." Jiraiya said. "Minato always figured the rasengan was incomplete without any elemental chakra added." Naruto shrugged.

"Don't get me wrong. It's a lot more powerful." He said. "But it's like putting poison on a shuriken. Just because it's better doesn't make it a totally different weapon. It could be that the rasengan is complete. But I just think I could do better."

"I don't know Naruto." Sakura said. "The rasengan seems pretty terrifying all on it's own. How were you planning on improving it?" Naruto lit up, figuring if anyone was smart enough to figure out how a technique worked it'd be Sakura.

"Well I had a few ideas." Naruto began, but before he could continue he jumped in the air to avoid the pair of hands trying to grab him. He landed as the hands retreated into the dark void they'd emerged from. "Keep trying Kaguya!" He yelled to the tree line. Everyone turned and saw Kaguya staring blankly at them. "Maybe you'd have more success if you trained sometime. You're free to join us."

"Wait, what?" Sakura said. Kaguya's face scrunched up in deep thought before she turned and vanished into the shadows. "Naruto why are you keeping her around?" Sakura asked. "She's constantly trying to kill you and Tsunade told me all about what she did. What's to stop her for wiping out Konoha right now?"

"Technically nothing." Naruto said. "But I think everyone deserves a second chance. She did horrible things and got sealed in the moon for it. Since she's been out she's had multiple opportunities to go on a rampage but she hasn't. If she tries to, I won't hesitate to seal her again, as much as I don't want to."

"And what about the whole 'constantly trying to kill you' thing." She asked nervously. She didn't like the idea of Naruto playing cat and mouse with someone like that.

"She could have done it already if she really wanted to." He said with a shrug. "If she isn't going to bother to try to actually kill me, I'm not going to bother getting upset. Now let's get back to talking about the rasengan."

"If you say so." She said as she glanced back to the trees. She was more than a little unnerved at the idea that right now the apocalypse itself was watching her. But if Naruto said it was fine than she'd trust him.

"So here's what I was thinking."

=X=

Team Anko slowly made their way through the bushes. Anko had taken off into the woods after telling them not to use their clan skills. At first the trail of smashed branches and footprints had been easy to follow. But slowly the trail had become harder and harder to follow. Making it even harder was the fact that every time they lost the trail and had to loop back around their own broken branches and footprints helped cover Anko's trail. Now they were approaching a clearing when Hinata suddenly grabbed Kiba and Shino.

"We can't go that way." She said nervously. Kiba and Shino frowned. The past few days Hinata had become rather outspoken, for her anyways. That she was acting like normal was worrying.

"Why not?" Kiba asked. "It seems pretty obvious that she went this way." As soon as he said that he realized what was wrong.

"I do believe that is the problem." Shino said. "Why? Because sensei's trail has been difficult to follow up to this point. That she clearly went this way can only mean two things. What? Either this is a fake trail, or…"

"Or it's a trap." Kiba finished. "Yeah I got it." Akamaru snickered at Kiba as Hinata picked up a rock and tossed it into the clearing. Several kunai flew from the trees and landed around it. Everyone gulped nervously.

"So now what do we do?" Hinata asked. While Anko, hopefully, wouldn't seriously injure them, they didn't want to risk walking into any traps that were left.

"Hinata, use your Byakugan." Kiba said. "Anko said not to use out clan skills to track her. She didn't say anything about using them to look for traps." Hinata and Shino looked at each other. Technically Kiba wasn't wrong, but they weren't sure they want to face Anko's wrath for abusing a loophole. Shrugging Hinata activated her Byakugan, and instantly froze.

"Don't move." She said. "She must be close, because we're completely surrounded by traps. Even the way we just came is covered with them." Kiba sniffed the air and moved closer to his teammates.

"It's not just traps," He said. "We're also surrounded by snakes." Everyone stood back to back in a circle as they pulled kunai from their pockets and took fighting stances. The air around them filled with the slithering and hissing of the serpents surrounding them. Suddenly Anko's voice echoed from the woods.

"First lesson of tracking: Just because you're following somebody, doesn't mean you aren't being followed yourself." With that, the snakes attacked.

=X=

Team Asuma sat in the shade reading of their ninjutsu scrolls. They were quickly learning why nintaijutsu was an obscure art. Figuring out how to safely and efficiently combine ninjutsu and taijutsu was hard.

"Perhaps you could coat yourself in fire while using your human boulder technique." Ino suggested. "I imagine the only thing scarier than a boulder is a boulder on fire." The trio chuckled at the image of trained ninja running and screaming from a slowly rolling fireball.

"The only problem with that is, how do we keep the fire from burning Choji?" Shikamaru asked. Ino and Choji both hemmed and hawed while trying to think of something.

"Maybe if I spin fast enough I can make a layer of air between me and the fire?" Choji suggested. Shikamaru leaned on his hand and thought about it.

"I suppose that could work." He said. "The problem is you'd need to spin really, really fast. What about you Ino? Any ideas what you can do?"

"I have a few thoughts." She replied. "Mostly involving using water to extend the reach of my limbs. No idea if it'll work, but it can't hurt to try right?" Shikamaru nodded and leaned back against the tree. Unfortunately Ino caught on to what he was doing. "How about you Shikamaru? What are you planning on doing?"

"Troublesome." He muttered. "I don't have the slightest idea. Taijutsu isn't really my thing." Ino laughed and stood up.

"No offense Shikamaru, but nothing is really your thing." She said. "Lucky you, I'm here to help. Step one: dodging a kick." Shikamaru jumped out of the way as Ino kicked where he was sitting. "Good job! Lesson two: dodging a punch." She threw a punch that Shikamaru was barely able to dodge.

"Knock it off Ino." He said as he jumped back and forth to try and avoid her punches. Ino laughed and continued her attack.

"Relax, I'm a medic." She said. "Just be glad I don't have Sakura's freaky strength." While Shikamaru agreed that was a good thing, it didn't make the punches she was throwing any less painful.

=X=

Kakashi headed to the training ground that he had heard his new team was training at. Rin's words were still echoing in his head. The more he thought about it the worse it felt. He had spent years ignoring other people's problems while wallowing in his own. How many new problems had he made by looking the other way? Would Naruto have been a better genin? Would Sasuke have not gone completely insane? He shook his head. No time to think about what could have been. That's what got him here in the first place.

"SENSEI! YOU'RE LATE! THAT'S MOST UNYOUTHFUL!" A louder that should have been possible voice screeched. Kakashi cleaned his ear with his pinky.

"Sorry about that." He said. "I was meeting with an old friend and had some problems to sort through." Everyone blinked in confusion, expecting a made up excuse about old ladies in trees and helping cats cross the street. Not an actual real reason. "Now Lee, since taijutsu is clearly your best subject for now just do some warmups. Though later I'd like you to ask Tenten for advice."

"Me?" Tenten exclaimed confused. "I really don't think I could possibly teach him anything about taijutsu." Kakashi smiled.

"Oh, I don't want you to teach him taijutsu." He said. "I want you to teach him about weapons. When used correctly a weapon can be just as dangerous as a jutsu while leaving you refreshed enough to fight hand to hand. And with how strong your taijutsu is I imagine you'll be rather scary once you start swinging around weapons."

"Of course sensei!" Lee hollered. "Tenten I shall return for your most youthful lessons! If I fail I shall climb to the top of the Hokage monument 1000 times!"

"Umm… that's fine Lee." Tenten said. "I wouldn't want you to push yourself too hard and fall behind in your lessons." Lee saluted silently, thankfully, and began doing his warmups.

"Neji, your chakra control has proven to be rather exceptional so I think you should give genjutsu a shot." Kakashi said. "I never understood why the Hyuga didn't focus more on genjutsu. Seems they'd have a talent for it."

"I've heard rumors that the main branch has several powerful genjutsu that they keep to themselves." Neji said. "Supposedly there's one that can make somebody a mindlessly loyal puppet."

"Well I certainly hope that's not true." Kakashi said. "Doesn't sound true… Well there'll be time for ghost stories later. Tenten I need you to channel your chakra into this piece of paper." Tenten did as instructed and watched as the paper split in half. "It would appear you have a wind affinity. That's pretty rare in the Land of Fire. Though I can still help get you started."

"Really? So if I train enough I can throw around wind like Temari did in our first chunin exams?" She asked eagerly. Revenge was one thing, but being able to one-up somebody? That was even better!

"Well eventually." Kakashi said. "It can take months or even years to master elemental jutsu." Tenten deflated under Kakashi's words. "Luckily I have a theory on how we can speed it up. I was planning on doing this with Naruto, but I think you might be able to benefit from it." Tenten perked back up, interested in this potential training regime. "First we need to teach you the Shadow Clone Jutsu."

=X=

The newly formed Team Yugao were taking a break. Yugao had been rather annoyed to learn that Karin and Haku's medical techniques consisted of civilian skills rather than actual medical ninjutsu. But she supposed beggars couldn't be choosers, especially with a war on the horizon.

"So let me ask you something." She said. "Are you two sweethearts or something?" She pulled a flask from her belt and took a swig, to her team's disapproval. Given the dark circles under her eyes and her less than pleasant reactions to light and sound, her team suspected she had shown up hungover. Of course she had still easily held all three of them off.

"Yes we are." Karin said as Haku took her hand. "We've been dating for a few months now. Admittedly we're both sort of new to the whole relationship thing, but so far it's going great."

"You two should just give up right now." Yugao said blankly. "It's going great now, but sooner or later one of you is going to end up dead in the others arms." Her team frowned at her statement.

"I'm assuming you've lost someone close to you?" Haku asked. Yugao nodded sadly. "I understand how you feel. Zabuza wasn't just my teacher. He was more of a father than my actual father ever was. I know it can be extremely difficult trying to live without someone you've grown attached to and trying to fill the void they left behind is difficult. But just giving up doesn't help you and it doesn't properly honor their memory." Yugao gave a grunt and took another drink. "I also don't think drowning yourself in alcohol is a healthy choice."

"I am not drowning myself!" Yugao insisted. "I'm not drunk right now. I just feel better with a slight buzz going on. There's nothing wrong with that is there?"

"Well it's probably not a good idea." Karin said. "Regularly drinking can damage your liver and increases your chances of becoming an alcoholic. Plus I don't think it's very smart to be swinging around a sword with even a slight buzz."

"Oh, who asked you?" Yugao snapped. Karin wanted to point out that she had in fact just asked her, but figured it wouldn't accomplish much. "Break time's over. Back to work. Shiho, I want you to get Karin started on genjutsu. She seems like she'd be good at it."

"Yes ma'am!" Shiho said with a nervous salute. She still didn't understand why Tsunade put her on this team. Yugao was a former ANBU. Karin was an Uzumaki who was able to use their legendary bloodline, though it could use some work. And Haku had an ice release bloodline and was, more or less, a member of the seven swordsmen. Compared to them she felt rather plain.

"Haku, your kenjutsu needs to improve if you want to hold on to that sword." Yugao continued. "Now draw your sword, and try not to disappoint everyone who used it before you." Haku nodded and drew his sword. Yugao may be a tough teacher, but at least he didn't have to worry about her sword trying to eat him.

=X=

As the sun set 15 young ninja crawled into their beds. Some were excited to be learning from new teachers, some were nervous about the approaching war. Some were confused about the change to the status quo, others were upset to learn their teachers had been playing favorites. But they all had one thing in common. They were very curious to see what tomorrow's training would bring.

=X=

I need to start ending every chapter with 'Sorry this took so long.' But this time I'll admit, totally my fault. Sure traveling and spending time with my family for the holidays took up a lot of time, and my friends had some serious personal issues that I was helping them with. But for the most part I was about 70% done with this and then Xenoblade Chronicles X came out and I just couldn't be bothered to give a fuck about anything else. I blew off you, my loyal readers, to play a kick ass amazing RPG, and for that I apologize. I'll try the get the next chapter out quickly to make up for the delay. Sorry again. See you soonish I hope.


	12. Second Dates and Setting Out

Wow. It's amazing the kind of tunnel vision people develop when they're determined to leave a negative review. I guess the popularity of bashing fics should have tipped me off. But it's still weird. I can understand when I say something and it gets misinterpreted. But I don't get how people can give me crap for stuff I never said, or even said the exact opposite of. It not like they're hearing me second or third hand. My words are right here. You should be able to read them. Though a lot of what they say proves my point about the anime ruining the series. Well whatever. That's not what you're here for. It's review time!

Maelstrom of Swirling Tides: I based it off the Sage's treasures. They constantly drain chakra and it's said that people have died just from touching them. Yet Tenten picked one up, used it to launch a massive attack, and set it down, and while she was winded, she was still alive and ready to go. Her reserves must be huge. And we don't know where she comes from in canon. She's never given any sort of background. Her parents could be civilians or they could be ninja. And I don't know about Choji. All things considered his reserves are probably pretty big but I don't know how big in relation to everyone else. He's definitely near the upper end.

monkiepawn: Don't worry. It's coming. I can't say when exactly since sometimes things happen quicker than I think they will and other times they take longer. But it should start soon.

antishyguy weegee: OH MY GOD IT'S AMAZING! It's not perfect, it has it's share of flaws. But if you liked the first one, you'll probably like this one. I know I love it.

KarolineUzumaki: If it doesn't hurt anyone and it makes me feel better what's the problem? And I'd like to think years from now some kid will read Naruto, get to the end, and wonder what was wrong with us that we though it was good. And my rants aren't part of the story. You're under no obligation to read them. If you don't like them just skip them. And FYI I didn't put words in anyone's mouth. I repeated what I heard. If it's not true too bad. It doesn't affect me either way. And if he said that at Comic-Con, then just as I said he changed his story again. It doesn't matter if he was paid, if it was a last second decision, if he decided halfway through, or if he knew from the very beginning. He wrote a story for 15 years, then slapped on an end that completely undid that story. I don't have to respect bad writing just because it's made tens of millions. And I don't have to respect Kishimoto just because I used to like Naruto. Why should I have to put the work into respecting him when he doesn't respect himself?

GaryDoom: I'm aware Naruto wasn't a romance story. That's what the problem is. At first I was willing to accept that Naruto was another good manga with a bad end. Wasn't the first time it happened, won't be the last time. Then Kishimoto started running his mouth about how the entire story was all about Naruto and Hinata's romance and nothing else written mattered and if you can't see it you're an idiot. That's when I got upset. And I don't want to embarrass you in front of everyone but at the start of Chapter 7 I clearly said Shikamaru and Temari were the only couple in the ending that didn't suck. Granted they really push the limits of minimum interaction but still. Plus I've repeatedly said the ending undid everyone's character development and was filled with the characters being OOC. And I never said Kishimoto was a horrible person. I think he's a below average writer who got lucky and managed to throw together something great before he destroyed it. But I don't know him personally, so I can't say he's horrible.

T51b Moridin: Lots of reviews so I'll cover the highlights. You're more right than you know. Sorry but none of that. That's what they say. There's really nothing to prove it. In fact the entire sequel more or less disproves it. But whatever. That's what he said. But according to KarolineUzumaki he changed his story again. Either way, not my problem.

Dear Tamashi: Well rereading implies I've been updating and you feel behind. Don't worry. You haven't missed a thing.

ncpfan: Thanks. And I'm trying to find ways to give Kaguya more screen time and development without throwing off what I have planned. This upcoming arc should contain quite a few moments.

Wondering Knight: Thank you. I would love to discuss the ending. But there's nothing to discuss with the people who agree with me. And 9/10 people who disagree with me shoot down any discussion with insane troll logic. They either say it's canon, that automatically makes it good, or they insist I'm just "butthurt" over Naruto and Sakura not getting together, which I would accept as an argument, except they say it even when my complaint has absolutely nothing to do with the relationships. And I don't know about the interviews. I just repeat what I hear. Honestly weather they're true or not has no affect on me.

deathstalker982: Funny story about that. A lot of people left negative reviews for chapter 6 because people didn't like that I gender bent Nagato. In chapter 7 I mentioned I was surprised by the mixed reviews. There were a bunch of people in chapter 7 telling me I should expect it for "trashing" Hinata even though there were few actual complaints about how I portrayed Hinata.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. The disclaimer from chapter 1 applies here. If I did Naruto wouldn't have so many entries on TVTropes Bad Writing Index.

=X=

Naruto stretched his arms as he walked towards Konoha's front gates. He was rather annoyed that Jiraiya had said they wouldn't be meeting until noon. But considering the other leaders were leaving this morning he probably wanted to see Konan and Nagato off. That's where he was heading.

"Hey Boss!" A voice yelled. Naruto turned and was greeted by a cloud of smoke. It cleared revealing a pair of busty women wearing nothing but a few surviving wisps of smoke covering their intimate parts. "What do you think?" They purred in a sexy voice as they began slowly grinding against each other. Naruto shrugged.

"Sorry Konohamaru," He said. "That was pretty good, but I've seen better." The girls pouted and vanished in another cloud of smoke, leaving a teenage boy in their place.

"Aww, come on." He groaned. "I worked really hard on that. Moegi and Udon even gave me pointers." He pointed over his shoulder. Naruto blinked in confusion seeing Konohamaru's teammates suddenly standing behind him. Or had they been there the whole time?

"Don't get me wrong, I'm glad you've been training." He said. "You even came up with a new version, that shows you're thinking outside the box and planning for the future." Konohamaru's face lit up with joy hearing Naruto's praise. "I'm just saying I have something better. I even beat a kage even stronger than your grandfather with it. And I've made it even better since than." The three young teens stared in amazement.

"You're so cool Boss!" Moegi said. "Do you think you could give us a demonstration?" Konohamaru and Udon eagerly nodded in agreement. Naruto got an evil grin.

"Why not?" He agreed. "If fact I was just about to say goodbye to the kage I beat. Let's go." Naruto walked away with Konohamaru's team right behind him. Udon walked up next to Naruto.

"So all this stuff about us going to war is true isn't it?" He asked. "It's no just a ploy to get us to train harder or work better with other villages." Naruto gave a low sigh.

"I really wish it was." He said sadly. "But apparently Sasuke got it in his head that the world needs saving, and he's the only one who can do it, and the best way to do that is killing everyone everywhere. Or something like that. I honestly have no idea what's going through his head right now."

"Do….. Do you think we'll be OK?" Moegi asked nervously while poking her fingers together. Naruto sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.

"I can't really answer that." He said. "I'd like to think that as long as we work together and watch our teammates back we'll be fine. But I can't promise that everybody is going to make it through this unscratched." Konohamaru's team seemed to become cautiously optimistic at his words. "But let's focus on the present." He said as they approached the gates. The leaders of Ame, Kiri, and Suna were preparing to leave. Seeing them off were Jiraiya, Tsunade, and surprisingly, Sakura, Ino, and Hinata. Jiraiya was saying goodbye to Konan and Nagato. Sakura was explaining to Itachi the schedule for his medication, while handing it and written instructions for the nurses in Ame to him. Ino was talking to the group from Kiri, while being introduced to Kushina. Tsunade and Hinata were off to the side, discussing something else. "Hey Mei!" Naruto yelled.

"Naruto! You came." She yelled happily as she grabbed him and pulled him into a kiss. Team Konohamaru's jaws dropped as they watch Naruto make out with an unbelievably beautiful woman, who was apparently also the Mizukage.

"Well of course I did." Naruto said as he pulled away. "I couldn't let any of you leave without saying good-bye. Besides Konohamaru didn't believe that I beat you in one move." Mei looked at the still gawking teens before smiling and taking a step back.

"You didn't beat me, you caught me off guard." She insisted. "Now that I know what to expect that weak little move couldn't possibly beat me." Naruto gave a grin of his own.

"I wouldn't expect you to be beaten by the same move twice." He said. "That's why I've improved it." Mei's grin faltered slightly, but she decided to risk it and made a 'bring it' motion with her hand.

"Well then, go ahead and 'beat' me." She said. Itachi, Nagato, and the group from Suna shook their heads, knowing what was likely coming. Konan, Kushina, and Rin were all grinning, eager to see what would happen. And everyone from Konoha was confused. Naruto made a hand seal and vanished in a cloud of smoke. As Mei expected, the smoke cleared, revealing several incredibly hunky guys. What she wasn't expecting were the extremely busty women mixed in with them. And instead of being naked they were all wearing unbelievably skimpy devil themed undergarments.

"Want to come play with us?" asked a woman who looked exactly like Kushina, only blond with blue eyes. She pressed their chests together and leaned in for a kiss before Mei passed out with a massive nosebleed and very dopey grin. Blond Kushina caught her and giggled before the crowd vanished leaving Naruto holding the knocked out beauty. "That was my Bi-Harem Jutsu. Perfect for taking out perverts with a wider range of tastes."

"I don't know Naruto." Kushina said between laughs. "Seems to me like that was made especially to take out Mei." Konan and Rin joined in her laughter. The Suna group face palmed. Itachi was glad his eyes were still bandaged. Nagato looked away with an angry expression and a bright blush while muttering to herself. Sakura was also blushing and attempting to complain about the jutsu, though her inability to form a sentence was making it hard. Ino was whistling and catcalling. Hinata had covered her eyes, though the bulging veins around them told everyone that she saw everything. Jiraiya was giggling and writing up a storm. Everyone else from Konoha was slack jawed that the Mizukage had been taken out so easily.

"Hey it's not my fault she can't resist a hot blond." He said as her wiped her face. "Wakey wakey." He teased while poking her cheek. Mei's eyes fluttered open before she jumped out of his arms.

"Naruto Uzumaki you are forbidden from every using that technique in Kiri." She ordered. "Do I make myself clear?" Naruto grinned and made the hand seal again.

"Perfectly. But we're in Konoha right now, so there's really nothing stopping me from doing it again." Mei shook her head, before kissing him again.

"Just please be careful." She whispered. "I don't know if I could take it if something happened to you." Naruto pulled her into a hug.

"I promise I'll stay safe until the next time I can make it to Kiri." He said. Mei sighed and kissed his cheek. "I love you."

"I love you too." She said with a blush. "I'll see you soon." She turned and nodded to the rest of her group. Kushina quickly ran forward and pulled Naruto into a hug.

"I don't want to go." She whined. "I just got here and we barely got to spend any time together." Behind her Rin gave several angry sputters as she tried and failed to form an insult.

"Relax, you heard what I told Mei." He said assuringly. "I'll come visit Kiri in no time. Plus I'm sure Mei wouldn't mind keeping you company." Kushina blushed but said nothing as Naruto pulled her into a kiss. "I love you."

"And I love you, my baby." She replied softly. She returned to Mei's side as Rin barely contained the urge to run up to him.

"So I guess this is good-bye again." She said sadly. Trying to lighten the mood she grinned and leaned closer. "It's such a shame we never got to sneak away for that quicky." Naruto returned the grin and pulled a scroll out of his pocket.

"That's why I stuck a shadow clone in this scroll." He said. "It may not be tough enough for sex, but as long as you don't pull it's hair too hard it's really useful for, 'other things.'" Rin's eyes lit up and she quickly grabbed the scroll and put it in her pocket.

"You certainly know how to treat a lady." She teased. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him into a kiss. He pulled her closer and deepened the kiss. One hand drifted towards her ass, but stopped when the bundle on her back growled. She let go of Naruto and elbowed the bundle. "Quiet you." She said.

"I don't think Samehada likes me very much." Naruto said. Rin smiled and pulled the sword off of her back.

"Oh it's just jealous." She said as she started rubbing the top. "Yes you are! Yes you are!" The bandages on the end parted and a long tongue began licking her face. "Who's a good sword? You are! Yes you are. Now do you think you can play nice with Naruto?" She held Samehada up and it instantly snapped at Naruto's face. Rin began smacking the base of the blade. "No! Bad! Bad sentient sword!" Samehada whimpered and retreated into its wrappings. "Sorry about that. I love you sweetie."

"I love you." Naruto replied. "Like I told the others I'll be in Kiri as soon as possible." She kissed him again and returned to her group.

"Alright team, let's move out." Mei said. The three waved at Naruto one last time. "Bye honey! See you soon!" Naruto waved as they walked away before a pair of arms wrapped around him.

"You know most people would think it weird watching a guy make out with three women." Konan said. "But I think it's romantic how you give them your undivided attention as soon as they ask for it. Of course I could be a little biased given that I've been on the receiving end of that romance." Naruto looked over his shoulder and kissed her deeply. "You're going to see me in Ame right?"

"Of course," Naruto said as he cupped he cheek. "I'd never think of coming to Ame with seeing my beloved angel." Nagato snorted causing Naruto and Konan to stare at her. After a few seconds Naruto turned back to Konan and kissed her again. "I love you, my angel."

"I love you, Naruto." She said as she kissed his cheek. She rested her head on his shoulder, enjoying holding him close. She slowly inhaled his scent before reluctantly letting him go. "I'll see you in Ame."

"See you soon, hopefully." He said as she approached Nagato. The young woman resisted the urge to roll her eyes as she summoned the demonic three winged bird they'd ridden to Konoha. Konan, Nagato, and Itachi jumped on it's back. Konan blew Naruto one last kiss as the bird spread it's wings and took off. Naruto gave a final wave before turing to the Suna siblings. "So Temari, how'd things go with Shikamaru?" He asked.

"As well as they could have gone, I suppose." She said. "We had a lovely dinner, and agreed that we'll go out again as soon as he's in Suna."

"By 'agreed' you mean you told him he was taking you out again." Naruto said with a grin. Temari blushed and shrugged.

"Well it was a lot faster than waiting for him to ask me." She said. "And I probably wouldn't have thought of it without you. So thank you." She pulled him into a hug before turning to Ino. "And thank you for helping me pick out that dress. I think he really liked it." She pulling Ino into a hug and whispered something in her ear. Ino blushed and smacked Temari on the arm. Temari laughed and returned to Gaara's side.

"Thank you once again for saving not only myself, but all of Suna." Gaara said. He held out his hand, which Naruto shook.

"No problem. We need to look out for our allies if we're going to keep from dying." He said. "Plus it would look bad if the future Hokage let his best friend get blown up." Gaara shook his head but wasn't able to stop the corners of his mouth from turning into a tiny grin. The Suna team gave their final goodbyes and walked away. Naruto turned back to Konohamaru and the others. "And that's how you beat a Kage in one move." The three young teens were watching with slacked jaws.

"Umm… why did you kiss four different girls." Moegi nervously asked. "Aren't you only supposed to do that with people you're dating?" Naruto scratched his head.

"Well I am dating all four of them." He said. "Plus I also recently started dating Ino." He looked over and saw the blond teasing Sakura about her slight nose bleed.

"You can do that?" Moegi asked amazed. She blushed and poked her fingers together. "So how exactly does that work? And could it work in reverse maybe?" Her blush grew brighter as the three men stared at her.

"Well… sure it can." Naruto said. "But it isn't easy to do. You have to treat everyone equally and do your best to try and make time for everyone. You can't play favorites. There's no top member or alpha or whatever you want to call it." He leaned closer to Moegi. "Were you hoping to start a little harem of your own?" Moegi turned even redder.

"No I was just curious! Alright it was great seeing you Boss! OK! Got to go! Bye!" She rapidly shouted before running off quickly. Naruto, Konohamaru, and Udon looked at each other before shrugging.

"Well I guess we'll go find out what that was all about." Konohamaru said. "Later Boss." Naruto waved as the two boys took off after their teammate. He heard a laugh and looked over his shoulder to see Ino standing next to him.

"Well, those apprentices of yours certainly are interesting." She said. Naruto laughed in agreement. Konohamaru and his friends were certainly odd, but that was why he liked them so much. "So, Naruto. Asuma was saying since we're leaving soon training for the next few days is going to be easy. So I was wondering if you might like to go out again tonight?" Naruto smiled brightly.

"Sure thing Ino. Sounds like fun." He said. "Did you have something in mind you wanted to do?" Ino smiled and nodded.

"Meet me back here at….. let's say 5." Ino said. "I'll take care of everything. See you then." With a wink she turned and walked away. Naruto smiled and turned to Jiraiya and Sakura. Sakura had taken Jiraiya's notebook and was threatening to rip it up if he did stop acting pervy around her.

"So Pervy Sage, what are we doing today?" Naruto asked. Jiraiya gave up trying to get his notes back and turned to Naruto.

"Well unfortunately, like your newest girlfriend said we're going to be traveling soon and don't want to burn ourselves out training." Naruto pouted but decided not to complain.

"Alright so when are we leaving and where are we going?" He asked. Tsunade stepped forward, followed by a still blushing Hinata.

"Team Jiraiya will be part of a squadron leaving tomorrow morning." She said. "You'll be heading to Ame to help repeal any potential invasion by Iwa." This time Naruto did complain.

"Why couldn't we have just left now?" He asked. "We can probably catch up if we leave now. That demon bird thing Nagato summons can't have flown that far by now." Jiraiya and Tsunade shook their heads.

"Look Naruto, you were the one who said we should lay low right?" Jiraiya asked. Naruto nodded in agreement. "Well moving a lot of soldiers is going to catch someone's attention. It's better to let the leaders get back to their villages before we set everything off." Naruto sighed.

"Yeah, I guess you're right." He said. "Well it that case, what are we doing today?" He knew it couldn't be that hard since not everyone had stamina like his.

"For now we're going to focus on getting you to better coordinate your attacks." Jiraiya replied. "You don't need powerful attacks if you can just combine attacks with your teammates. So meet me at the training grounds in 5 minutes." Naruto saluted.

"You got it!" He said. "Come on Sakura. Let's go." Sakura, reluctantly, gave Jiraiya his notebook back before turning to walk the opposite direction.

"Sorry but I need to talk to Shizune at the hospital first." She said. "I'll meet you there." She yelled before taking off. Jiraiya snickered, seeing the blush on Sakura's face. Naruto shrugged to himself before walking towards the training grounds. As he walked he noticed something in a nearby ally. Looking down it he saw Kaguya standing there, staring blankly ahead, with a massive blush on her face.

"Hey Kaguya, are you OK?" He asked. She continued to stare off into space. "Hello? Kaguya? Can you hear me?" He asked waving his hand in front of her face. Kaguya slowly blinked but otherwise didn't react. "Well, if you're listening I'm going to be at the training grounds most of the day. So I guess I'll see you there." With that he walked away leaving the blushing princess behind.

"Well that was certainly interesting." Tsunade said sarcastically as the ninja scattered. "Well come on Hinata. We have training to do today." Hinata followed with a confused look on her face.

"Lady Tsunade, shouldn't I be meeting up with my team soon?" Hinata asked. While she couldn't say Anko was a better teacher after only one day, she couldn't remember the last time Kurenai had pushed her as hard as Anko did.

"No need." Tsunade said. "I agreed to take you as an apprentice so I fully intend to train you. You will alternate between training with me and training with the rest of your team." Hinata blinked in confusion.

"So what exactly am I supposed to do once my team is deployed to the field?" She asked. Tsunade turned and looked at her newest student.

"That's simple. Your team isn't being deployed." Hinata looked like she was about to protest but stopped when Tsunade held up her hand. "Before you complain, most of the Hyuga, Inuzuka, and Aburame aren't being deployed. At least not in large numbers. The same skills that make you excellent trackers also make you excellent security. I need you to help keep Konoha safe. Plus while all three of your clans have reputations as trackers, you have very little experience working together. I'd like to change that."

"I see." Hinata said. She could easily see the benefit of it. While her team had been a little rough at first once they had gotten to know each other, working together had made most missions extremely easy. "So what are we learning today?"

"Today we're toning your taijutsu." Tsunade said. "The Gentle Fist is good, but it never hurts to expand your skills."

=X=

"So given what you all know about each other," Jiraiya began. "How would you deal with an unknown opponent?" Naruto, Sakura, and Sai looked at each other, deep in thought. Naruto's eyes lit up and he raised his hand.

"We should start by sending in Sai's ink beasts." He said. "If they're weak the ink beasts will take care of them. If not they'll be enough of a distraction for me to stun them with some air bullets. Then Sakura moves in and takes them out with her super strength." Jiraiya slowly nodded.

"That's not bad." He agreed. "But there's one minor problem with it. Can either of you figure it out?" Sakura and Sai thought for a moment before Sakura smiled.

"If they're strong enough to take on Sai's ink beasts then there's a chance they'd be able to dodge Naruto's air bullets." She said. "He should shoot the air bullets no matter what so just in case they're strong they'll still get hit." Jiraiya nodded.

"That's better, but there's still room for improvement." He said looking at the pale boy. "How about you Sai? Do you have any suggestions?" The creepy artist gave his weird fake smile.

"Given the speed of the air bullets and the time it takes to summon my ink beasts it would be better if Dickless made the opening move." He said. "In their attempts to avoid the attack it creates an opening for my ink beasts. Following the ink beast attack it should be easy for Ugly to get in a few hits." Naruto and Sakura growled at the nicknames, while Sai obliviously continued his creepy fake smile.

"That sounds like a decent plan." Jiraiya said. "Now it's time to see if it works. You all have one hour to land a hit on me. And I'll only be holding back a little. Good luck. And go!" Jiraiya leapt forward, causing Team 7 to scatter for safety.

=X=

Hinata went through the motions of the taijutsu that Tsunade had shown her. The first step was to get the movements down. The second was to put as much power behind them as possible. The final step was using chakra to magnify that strength to massive levels. Tsunade watched Hinata's performance, impressed with how quickly she had picked up the new taijutsu. So far she hadn't seen any of the supposed confidence problems Hinata allegedly had. She decided to confront her suspicions.

"Hinata can I ask you something?" She began. Hinata nodded as she picked up the towel and bottle of water she had placed nearby. "Why exactly are you interested in Naruto?" Hinata wiped her face and stared at Tsunade.

"Why wouldn't I be interested?" She asked before drinking her water. "No matter how bad things get, he never gives up. No matter how much others try to put him down, he always gets back up. He gives me hope and makes me think maybe my dreams aren't as unreachable as I think." Tsunade took a drink of her water and stared at Hinata.

"That doesn't really sound like you're interested in him romantically." She said. Hinata's eyes widened before narrowing in anger. "I mean, Naruto isn't the only ninja who's overcome hardship. What about Lee? He had to deal with people constantly putting him down and saying he'd never be a ninja. Everyone insisted that with his low chakra levels and terrible control trying to be a ninja was foolish. He never gave up and set out to prove one can be a ninja without ninjutsu or genjutsu. Why aren't you interested in him?"

"Naruto's different." Hinata said, though her voice had lost some of it's fire. "He doesn't just try his hardest, he inspires others to try their hardest. You should know. Didn't he inspire you to be Hokage?"

"Yes, he did." Tsunade said. "And I've worked my hardest to show that his faith wasn't misplaced. What exactly have you done?" Hinata tilted her head in confusion. "As far as I know, you haven't done anything to help him, or even anything to advance you own goals."

"Shut up!" Hinata screamed. "You don't know the first thing about me or my goals!" She dropped back into her stance, a move mirrored by Tsunade.

"I remember you being in the hospital when I first got back." Tsunade said. "You talked a lot about how you hated how divided your family was and how you wanted to free the branch family from the caged bird seal. So tell me, how much extra training have you done to secure your position as heiress? How much research into fuinjutsu have you done to remove the seal? Do you even interact with any branch members besides Neji if you don't need to? Or is all that big talk just a cute sob story to get Naruto to pay attention to you?"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Hinata screamed as she charged Tsunade. "Just you watch, I'll become head of my clan, I'll reunite the two branches, and I will get Naruto to notice me! And nothing you say or do will stop me!" Tsunade smiled as she effortlessly ducked and weaved between Hinata's blows.

"I have no intention of stopping you." Tsunade said. "The only one stopping you, is you. None of your goals are going to be accomplished by sitting around talking about them. If you put as much effort into them as you are in trying to hit me right now, they'd probably already be accomplished." Hinata growled and panted as she pulled off her jacket and resumed attacking. "I'd take it easy if I were you. No matter how tired you make yourself right now, you're still completing your training today." Hinata ignored her and continued trying to work out her frustration.

=X=

Kakashi smiled as her watched his new students help each other out. Tenten was sparing with Lee, who was holding back, but not nearly as much as he normally would. Being on Guy's team meant that even though she was out of focus she still had taijutsu above most people. Now Lee was helping her fine tune it. Two of her clones were receiving chakra control training from Neji. Thankfully here chakra levels were nowhere near Naruto's. Trying to teach her to control that would be a nightmare. Meanwhile her remaining five clones were practicing the leaf cutting exercise.

"Woo! I did it!" One of the clones yelled. Everyone gathered around and saw a small cut in the corner of the leaf. "Well, sort of."

"Considering how long it can take to learn elemental manipulation I'd say you're off to an amazing start." Kakashi said. "I'm glad to see my theory about using shadow clones to train is working."

"I just wish you'd let me use more." She replied. "I managed to make twelve when you first taught it to me." Neji shook his head.

"Tenten, you were completely exhausted after that." He said. "Even Lee doesn't push himself that hard, and he's, well, him." Tenten blushed and looked away.

"Well I want to get this down as soon as possible." She said. "Things are about to get really bad and I don't want to hold this team back."

"Now Tenten, nobody becomes amazing overnight." Kakashi said. "Even Lee took years to get this far." Lee cheered at having his hard work recognized, while Tenten smiled at being compared to Lee. "And besides, we're being sent to help reenforce Suna. I'm sure someone there can give you some good tips." Tenten's grin turned dark as she imagined using wind ninjutsu to show up Temari.

"I'm sure I can find someone to help." She said. "But enough sitting around talking. Back to work, all of you!" Her clones all saluted and said "Yes ma'am!" before resuming their previous tasks. "Hmm… maybe I should be Hokage." She said to herself as the clones followed her orders.

"Well anythings possible." Kakashi said. "But for now why not have the rest of your clones practice leaf cutting? Since the boys enjoy hand to hand combat and you prefer using weapons, I think all three of you could benefit from learning to use swords."

"I know how to use swords!" Tenten declared proudly. Her smile lessened when she noticed everyone staring at her.

"I hate to break it to you Tenten, but most swords aren't meant to be thrown." Kakashi said. "And despite want most action movies show, throwing your sword does not always work." Tenten blushed but let Kakashi continue. "Now let's go get your swords. We only have a few days to train before we set out." With that the new Team Kakashi set out to get their new equipment, leaving seven identical girls to try cutting a leaf.

=X=

Ino grumbled as she tried to wring the water out of her hair. Since she knew a few water jutsu she figured manipulating water with her chakra would be easy. She had learned the hard way, it was not. Shikamaru was practicing the new taijutsu style that he felt could go with his earth affinity. Choji, who still wasn't quite sure what to do with his fire affinity, was getting tips from Asuma.

"Man this sucks." She muttered. "Whenever I use a water jutsu the water is drawn straight to my chakra. Why isn't it working now?" Shikamaru sighed and began wiping his forehead.

"Maybe you're structuring your chakra wrong." He suggested. Ino raised an eyebrow in confusion, before motioning him to continue. "Well you said the water was drawn to your chakra right? Maybe you should try moving your chakra differently. How are you doing it right now?"

"I'm shaping my chakra like a tube." She replied. "I figured the water would flow around it and keep its shape." Shikamaru put his hand on his chin.

"I suppose that could work." He said. "But if you make it too wide the water could be spread too far and lose its structural integrity and go flying everywhere. Maybe instead of a tube try making a rope in whatever shape you're trying to form. If you need more water just put more chakra in it." Ino nodded and refilled her water bottle. She focused her chakra into a thin cord and ran it through the water. A tendril of water slowly left the bottle and began circling Ino. She smiled as it circled her a few more times before she snapped her fingers and let it fall to the ground, leaving her completely dry.

"Perfect!" She cheered. "Now I just need to perfectly incorporate it into a taijutsu style." She deflated slightly upon realizing how much work she still had to do. Refilling her water again she sat under the tree. She looked at her teammates. Shikamaru had gone back to practicing while Choji was spitting small fireballs to see how far they could go before dissipating. Ino perked back up, unable to remember the last time her team trained this hard. "Speaking of training hard, I need to plan for our date tonight." She said to herself as she resumed manipulating the water.

=X=

Yugao ducked underneath a chain that threatened to take her head off. She had quickly learned that Haku and Karin could easily read it other and were a dangerous duo. They were have trouble integrating Shiho into their attacks, mainly due to the girl's lack of experience with combat. However the duo were quickly learning her strengths and weaknesses. Yugao prepared to counterattack Karin when she realized her limbs couldn't move. Slowly several chains faded into view, wrapped tightly around her limbs. Before she could complain Haku also appeared, holding his sword to her throat.

"How did you get so close?" She asked. Haku pointed over his shoulder, where Shiho faded into view. She nervously waved under Yugao's glare. "Impressive. Perhaps next time I won't go so easy on you." Haku and Karin glanced at each other, not believing her excuse for a second. "Now show Shiho so medical techniques that can be used for fighting." She said while pulling her flask from her belt. She walked over to a nearby tree and took a swig before lying down. "She's smart so she should learn them in no time."

"I'm not so sure about this." Shiho said. "Are we really expected to follow a drunken former ANBU into a war zone?" Haku and Karin nodded in agreement as they gathered their medical supplies.

"Perhaps Lady Tsunade is hoping that we can get her to open up and stop destroying herself?" Haku suggested. Karin and Shiho continued frowning.

"I really hope that's true." Karin said. "Because the alternative is she's hoping Yugao will have a brush with death and scare her straight. I'd like to think Lady Tsunade isn't that reckless." Haku nodded in agreement as he opened a chart showing areas to target with senbon.

"Maybe we could help her get a head start." Shiho suggested. "I'm sure she'd be better if she wasn't always drinking." They glanced over to the tree where Yugao had fallen asleep.

"I suppose that can't hurt." Haku said. "Karin, why I don't you get Shiho started. I'll see about making Yugao's drinking problem disappear." Karin nodded and began instructing Shiho in properly holding and throwing senbon. Haku set down Kubikiribocho and quickly made he way over to Yugao. Moving as silently as he could Haku slowly crept up, and was glad to see Yugao had set her flask next to her instead of putting it back in her belt. He carefully grabbed it and began to pick it up. Suddenly everything spun around and he found himself pinned to the ground with Yugao's sword directly in his face.

"What do you think you're doing?" She asked dangerously. Haku nervously glanced at the flask in his hand before he dropped it. She picked it up and took a drink, her blade never leaving his face. "Well since it seems Karin can handle Shiho on her own, I'm guessing you want some extra tips in kenjutsu?" Haku nodded, hoping it would distract her. Yugao let him up and he quickly grabbed Kubikiribocho. Turning around her was barely able to block a strike from her. "Since you're so eager to learn I won't go easy on you." She quickly cut through his defense and left a slash on his cheek before kicking him in the chest sending him flying across the training ground. "I hope you're a good teacher Karin, because Shiho is the only one allowed to heal him." She chased after Haku, leaving both girls terrified.

"Lesson learned," Shiho said. "Don't even try and get Yugao to stop drinking." Karin nodded in agreement before quickly trying to teach Shiho everything she knew. She really hoped Yugao was smart enough to not hurt Haku too badly. But hearing their swords clashing, she didn't think that was likely.

=X=

Naruto stood in front of Konoha's front gate, humming to himself. After spending all day trying to keep Sakura from killing Sai, while struggling to suppress his own urge to slaughter the former ROOT operative, he was looking forward to whatever it was Ino had planned.

"How's it going?" Naruto turned and saw Ino standing there with a picnic basket in her hand. "Ready for our date?" She asked. Naruto smiled and approached her.

"Of course. I hope you don't mind me dressing casually." He said. "You didn't exactly give me any clues about what we're doing."

"Don't worry about it." She replied. "We're just going to have a nice picnic in the forest. Nothing fancy about it." She held out her arm to him. "My I escort you to the park?" She asked in an overly fancy tone.

"I shall be honored m'lady." He replied. The two snickered as they made their way to the park at the forest's entrance. After a few minutes of walking they arrived at a clearing where Ino pulled a blanket out of the basket and set it down. "So what are we having?" He asked.

"Well I figured you'd enjoy having your favorite." She said as she pulled a covered bowl from the basket. Naruto took it with a smile, but his eyes widened in shock when he opened it up.

"Red bean soup? How did you remember that this was my favorite?" He asked confused. "I only mentioned it once." Ino laughed at the look on Naruto's face.

"Well you have a reputation for eating nothing but ramen." She said. "So when you mentioned that your favorite food was something else, it was rather shocking. I'm not going to forget something as amazing as 'Naruto Uzumaki's favorite food isn't ramen.'"

"I guess I do talk about ramen a little too much." He laughed as Ino handed him a spoon. "Thank you for thinking for me." Ino blushed slightly and reached into the basket.

"It was no big deal really." She said as she held up another bowl. "Plus I did grab some Ichiraku for you." Naruto smiled even brighter while Ino set the ramen next to him, before grabbing another bowl of ramen for herself. "So how's your training going?"

"As good as it can be I suppose." He said. "Though Sai's going to be killed by Sakura and me if he doesn't learn to shut his mouth." Ino laughed through her noodles.

"Is he really that bad?" She asked. "I thought most ROOT members we trained to act normally in public. There was a guy in my clan who I'd met a few times. I never would have guess he was an emotionless tool."

"Well that only applies to members who needed to work with others outside the organization." Naruto explained. "Since that guy was a member of a clan he'd need to talk to other clan members, even if he didn't have any immediate family. Sai was just a random orphan Danzo kidnapped. He's never really needed to work with people."

"So what's the problem?" Ino asked as she set down the empty bowl and grabbed a bag of cherry tomatoes from the basket. "Is he trying to do everything himself and getting in your way?"

"No he's actually pretty good when it comes to combat." Naruto said while opening his ramen. "The problem is he can't work on a personal level. He wants to be friends with us. But he has no idea how to bond with people. He tried giving us nicknames. Since I have several girlfriends and I'm not a macho jerk to them I'm 'Dickless.' I guess he doesn't find Sakura attractive because he calls her 'Ugly.'" Ino laughed as she imagined it was very hard for Naruto to stop Sakura from going on a rampage. "Speaking of training, how's your's going?"

"Pretty good. Asuma's got us working on nintaijutsu." She said. "I've managed to get my water affinity to help me control water in a way I think could be useful. Though right now I can't do it fast enough or with enough power to be useful in a fight."

"I'm sure you'll get it." Naruto reassured her. He reached into the basket and pulled out two cups of pudding. Handing one to Ino he asked "How about Choji and Shikamaru?"

"It didn't take Shikamaru long to figure something out." She said. "He's already working on his taijutsu and I think he knows exactly what he's going to do with his earth affinity. Choji's having some trouble finding a way to mix his fire affinity with taijutsu. I think Asuma might end up getting him a weapon." Ino threw her empty cup in the basket. "So where are you being sent?" She asked.

"Tsunade said we're going to Ame." He said. "It'll be nice to see Konan again, but given how close Iwa is we probably won't get to spend that much time together."

"Konan made Ame sound really nice while she was here." Ino said. "Though I imagine the endless rain would take some getting used to. You've been everywhere haven't you? What places did you like?" She listened as Naruto told her of all the places he'd been. She wished she could go to those places without needing to fight a war. They spent the next hour talking about various places around the world before Naruto walked her home.

"Which is why I think the mountain in the Land of Lightning look better than the ones in the Land of Earth." Naruto said, finishing a story about climbing the mountains around Kumo.

"That sounds amazing." Ino said. She was a little disappointed they were back at her house and he was leaving tomorrow. "So this is our second date. Can I get that kiss now?"

"Ino, did you invite me out just to get a kiss?" Ino blushed but didn't deny it. "Well I don't want to disappoint." He put his hand on her chin and leaned in. The kiss was rather chaste, but since it was Ino's first it was setting fireworks off in her brain. Naruto pulled away, leaving Ino with a large grin on her face. "I hope it was worth the wait." He said. Ino quickly nodded it agreement. "So Ino, would you like to officially be one of my girlfriends?" Ino leaned towards him and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"I'd like that." She said and pulled him into another kiss. This one got deeper, though it was still tame compared to some of the other kisses Naruto had experienced. She stepped back and caught her breath while walking to the door. "See you around." She said with a wink. Naruto smiled and waved as she walked inside. Naruto walked home and climbed into bed thinking of his new blond girlfriend the whole time. As he was about to fall asleep his thoughts were interrupted by a sudden rush of memories. He had one last thought before he feel asleep.

"Rin's tasty."

=X=

Several large groups of ninja stood around Konoha's front gates. They were all saying goodbye to each other as they prepared to set out.

"So you're going to the Fire-Rice Fields border?" Naruto nervously asked. Ino nodded, just as nervous. "Be careful. I don't want you to get hurt."

"I'll be fine." Ino tried to assure him. "We'll be together again soon enough. And then we can have another date. It'll be really 'fun'." She said in a seductive voice. Naruto smiled and gave her another light kiss.

"Dickies, it's time to go." Naruto sighed and turned to see Sai, Sakura, and Jiraiya standing there. Sai looked at Ino and gave a smile that was a little less creepy than his other ones. "Hello Beautiful. How are you?"

"I'm fine." Ino said. "Though you should lay off the compliments. I'm already dating Naruto." Sakura and Sai both looked confused, though for different reasons.

"So you don't mind being called Beautiful?" He asked. Ino shook her head. "I see. It appears I offended my teammates when I gave them accurate nicknames. But since you enjoy an inaccurate nickname I'll just do that from now on." Ino blinked in confusion before Sai's words registered in her brain.

"Wait, are you calling me ugly?" She asked. Sai proudly nodded, his grin never fading. He very quickly found Ino being held back in a way he'd seen Sakura be held back constantly.

"We really need to teach you how to talk to women." Jiraiya said with a shake of his head. Sai agreed, still confused about what he did wrong. Eventually Naruto calmed Ino down and they promised to see each other again and soon. With that they, their teams, and the whole world, set out for an uncertain future.

=X=

FUCK! This chapter gave me so much trouble. The dialog just wasn't coming out right no matter how I rewrote it. I was about to rewrite it again, but then I realized how long it'd been since I last posted so I figured fuck it. Any complaints can be taken care of in future chapters. Speaking of fucking it Kishimoto continues to prove he's out of fuck to give. Apparently Studio Pierrot, with no involvement from Kishimoto, is making another Boruto movie. The purpose of this movie is to serve as an intro to a new Boruto manga being written by one of Kishimoto's former assistants, again with zero involvement from Kishimoto himself. So Naruto has been reduced to an intro to another manga series. But it doesn't set anything up and can be completely skipped. Ugh. Well whatever. No idea when the next chapter will be, but I'll do my best to make sure it's not three months from now.


End file.
